This was a lovely essay to read first thing in the morning. I can only wish as much love, support, and community for my own mother in her final years. Frances was lucky to have two wonderful daughters (and a wonderful son-in-law) and it’s speaks to the kind of mother and human-being that she must have been. That, and, I want to live at The Whitney Center! ❤️
So many of us aging baby boomers are caring for and/or otherwise helping aging parents. When I feel weary or stressed, I think of the sisterhood of daughters and feel encouraged.
There are so many of us. While I lived with my mother for five years taking care of her, knowing others were out there doing the same really helped. I used to imagine then from a point in outer space, looking down on the Earth, all of us at the same time, thinking about each other.
FYI - Whitney is a "lifecare" facility, not an "assisted living" place, although it does have an option for assisted living. Lifecare means that residents can live independently until they need support, and then get various kinds of support at the same facility! It's not a nursing home warehouse for oldsters! Expensive but wonderful if you can manage the cost.
I do not have someone there. Just sharing knowledge and experience with other lifecare places my relatives have chosen. My advice if you are interested is to focus on lifecare places that are truly nonprofit with solid financial management and transparency about finances. No private equity involvement!
Such a sweet story about a woman/wife/mother getting a second chance. I can feel the love you and your sister had for her. Nice touch writing about your mom as a child going through the natural phases. Very much enjoyed. Keep writing!
What a wonderful, hopeful essay. It is beyond uplifting to read such a positive account of your mum’s final decades. What joy for her to experience such a fulfilling time, and for you to see her grow and flourish.
What a beautiful essay on daughters and their love and care for their mother. I still keep in touch with a couple of my mom's caregivers since she passed in 2020.
May I suggest an email list for those of us who aspire to living at the Whitney Center in the future? Maybe we can form our own Whitney Center! (And to Frances’ daughters: you are wonderful.)
This is so lovely. And it echos my own experience. I felt as if I were packing my dad for his college dorm as he moved into assisted living. And I encouraged and asked, Did he go to the activity? Meet the neighbors? This essay is so beautiful. You took such care with your mom.
Your mother has been very fortunate having all those loving people looking out for her. At the moment, I am living on the grounds of somebody who became wealthy through her own hard work, but who is alone and has no close relatives interested in her, here in Mexico's interior. She has chased away (through her increasing dementia, irrational behaviours and volatility) her renters from the two apartments within her estate over the last year. I have hung on and am trying to get her help, againsts her will as she doesn't acknowldge her cognitive failure. A tricky situation. She is physically very healthy and may live a long life. I hope her money will last her as long as needed.
This was a lovely essay to read first thing in the morning. I can only wish as much love, support, and community for my own mother in her final years. Frances was lucky to have two wonderful daughters (and a wonderful son-in-law) and it’s speaks to the kind of mother and human-being that she must have been. That, and, I want to live at The Whitney Center! ❤️
I wish they had more Whitney Centers for all! thnxo
So many of us aging baby boomers are caring for and/or otherwise helping aging parents. When I feel weary or stressed, I think of the sisterhood of daughters and feel encouraged.
Well put-hang in there!
There are so many of us. While I lived with my mother for five years taking care of her, knowing others were out there doing the same really helped. I used to imagine then from a point in outer space, looking down on the Earth, all of us at the same time, thinking about each other.
Carolita, that's lovely. Thank you for sharing it.
FYI - Whitney is a "lifecare" facility, not an "assisted living" place, although it does have an option for assisted living. Lifecare means that residents can live independently until they need support, and then get various kinds of support at the same facility! It's not a nursing home warehouse for oldsters! Expensive but wonderful if you can manage the cost.
I do not have someone there. Just sharing knowledge and experience with other lifecare places my relatives have chosen. My advice if you are interested is to focus on lifecare places that are truly nonprofit with solid financial management and transparency about finances. No private equity involvement!
My essay is all about my mother's life there...not sure what you are asking me here
Such a sweet story about a woman/wife/mother getting a second chance. I can feel the love you and your sister had for her. Nice touch writing about your mom as a child going through the natural phases. Very much enjoyed. Keep writing!
Not sure who you address here. Please clarify and thanks
A tender portrait and a powerful, relatable metaphor for the experience of daughtering our aging, declining mothers.
“Daughtering.” Thank you for that description of what I’m doing. It fits like a glove.
Yes. Been there. My mom’s gone now but it felt that way for 6 years after my dad died.
Well said, Deborah!
Such a beautiful essay!
What a wonderful, hopeful essay. It is beyond uplifting to read such a positive account of your mum’s final decades. What joy for her to experience such a fulfilling time, and for you to see her grow and flourish.
What a beautiful eulogy! Thanks Sari for creating this space for oldsters.
<3
Really, really lovely. Congratulations to you your sister for being such good kids.
What a beautiful essay on daughters and their love and care for their mother. I still keep in touch with a couple of my mom's caregivers since she passed in 2020.
May I suggest an email list for those of us who aspire to living at the Whitney Center in the future? Maybe we can form our own Whitney Center! (And to Frances’ daughters: you are wonderful.)
This is so lovely. And it echos my own experience. I felt as if I were packing my dad for his college dorm as he moved into assisted living. And I encouraged and asked, Did he go to the activity? Meet the neighbors? This essay is so beautiful. You took such care with your mom.
I want to join Jenn at the Whitney Center. May I?
Sorry-who is Jenn?
Beautiful and poignant. How lucky she was to have such loving children. And how lucky you were to have her for so long. May her memory be a blessing.
This is so very beautiful. Thank you.
Very nicely written and in an interesting style. It brings up the question of the"Right to Die".
Your mother has been very fortunate having all those loving people looking out for her. At the moment, I am living on the grounds of somebody who became wealthy through her own hard work, but who is alone and has no close relatives interested in her, here in Mexico's interior. She has chased away (through her increasing dementia, irrational behaviours and volatility) her renters from the two apartments within her estate over the last year. I have hung on and am trying to get her help, againsts her will as she doesn't acknowldge her cognitive failure. A tricky situation. She is physically very healthy and may live a long life. I hope her money will last her as long as needed.