So, SO funny and yet so true. Not too long ago I myself went through the old lingerie drawer and started to get a bit sad and also mad at myself for going through menopause body morphing (as if I had a choice!). Then I turned my frown upside down. Instead of "I used to fit this and now I'm old and fatttt" (whine whine) I decided to reframe to "My God I looked hot in this, and what a fun night THAT was heh heh". I then went out and bought a perfectly mature and incredibly sexy little hot pink negligee, maybe a few sizes up. Yep, still got it, even if it bulges and sags a bit. I'm a woman, not a mannequin!!
I have an almost duplicate of your dresser and the same happened recently when I turned 70.
No more sexy front clasps and single back clasps for this old gal! I kept none of them.
Some so old (1970s)
the elastic was disintegrated! I found the very bra I wore on my wedding day! Strapless and lacy nude 34AA…. A purge that grieved me but so necessary to make room for knee braces and elastic support socks and arm protectors for thin skin.
Could not love this more and SO relatable. "Mammary lane." This is such clever writing.
And yes, getting a new bra can be deeply unpleasant. I know the exact ladies of the bra fitting era that Melanie speaks of and indeed, I finally found one last year to provide the old school "fitting" because, um, things change. (As an aside, these stalwart, no-nonsense sales women always seem to be about 4' 11" tall, I know not why ...)
Anyway, she ended up fitting me with a "bralette" and when I smiled my shy approval she nodded curtly and said "Yes that's nice on you. Really sucks in the back fat you have."
Harsh! But true. Thanks for this early morning amusement!
Hilarious and historical! From Homer's Illiad: "...she loosed from her bosom the curiously embroidered girdle into which all her charms had been wrought..."
Totally cracking up over the Miss Havisham comment. (I've long harbored a fantasy of opening up a shop called Havisham. What exactly we would sell I've never been sure -- musty old wedding cakes? Maybe bras!)
Your writing is so funny! I loved your use of puns to throw us into your quietly hilarious story. There was soft chuckling here. Thanks for sharing this. Is it ok for a man to comment on this?
So funny, so poignant. I'm the opposite of you. If I wear a bra once and hate it, I've been known to cut it off my body with scissors the moment I get home. My lingerie drawer consists of two bras that actually work, plus one I'll force myself into should I need to be more perky for a few hours.
A couple of years ago I recruited a stylist, whom I had met over a decade earlier while working in PR and whom was responsible for preparing the singer Heather Small, for a photo shoot. I'll never forget her saying to me, "Foundation garments are everything." Those words ringing in my ears, and myself reengaging with an earlier career as a singer, I wanted to create a look for my upcoming shows.
First thing on the list was new brassieres and that's when I discovered the Triumph Doreen, a wireless bra that is sold in the gazillions mainly to older woman and is the most flattering and comfortable bra I've ever owned.
Years ago, I probably would have thought it a very frumpy bra, but I actually find the bullet shaped boobs it produces very sexy, and in black lace, with its thick strap, I like to believe I'm reinventing myself as a sexy, older, 1940s film star.
I also like the fact it is devoid of any padding, so when I'm with a man, there's no embarrassment on my part of me thinking that he hasn't actually found my breasts yet through all that stuffing. I still have lots of the old push-up and other bras of yesteryear in my underwear drawer and I keep telling myself that one day I'll do the sensible thing, like you, and get rid of the items that don't fit or work anymore on a 63 year old woman's body. But that is for another day...
Darn it, this was one of the idea I had scribbled down for an "I Don't Know," but no need to worry about it now that the lovely piece exists. Still have to clean out those drawers, though.
Oh, the underwear drawer, what a trip it is to visit that territory with you! I still think of myself as a modestly endowed woman in the boob department, but menopause + gravity have changed that, and there always seems to be a bit more left over than there used to be! And damn those wired bras are fiendish... I have no idea how I ever had time for them! There are lovely non-wired bra designs available today... online of course!!
Fascinating, and so funny. And I feel like such the odd woman out here.. I was always very shy about my small breasts and I had to buy 32 AAs, and with padding please, because I was wishing always I had bigger breasts. As I got older, it went to 32 A and then 34 A, and gradually got a little bit bigger, as I got older. And now, of course, I feel incredibly lucky because I have these relatively perky boobs that are lower than they used to be but it took until I was in my 70s, with more on my hips and butt that I used to. But I still only have two bras although at times I’ve had three.
Cotton tank tops, tight tank tops for formal wear...just kidding. No bra at all! Now we are talking!
Having spent my life in sportswear and boating attire, with a wardrobe for those teaching days, I have never had the racy, sexy bras. What is the first thing most of us fling off when we get home?
As my dear mother used to say, "who needs it? what's the point"? I have to laugh. Weed 'em out!
Last time I tried bra shopping at a department store in late 2023, they gave me a few sample bras based on my prior size and a few tips for assessing fit myself. They wouldn’t measure.
You have to go to a dedicated lingerie store to get an in-person fitting. They do a bit more than the online calculators that only measure underbust and bust, because a fitter can see if one breast is larger, or how close together they are. But there are more detailed online tools on some sites.
So, SO funny and yet so true. Not too long ago I myself went through the old lingerie drawer and started to get a bit sad and also mad at myself for going through menopause body morphing (as if I had a choice!). Then I turned my frown upside down. Instead of "I used to fit this and now I'm old and fatttt" (whine whine) I decided to reframe to "My God I looked hot in this, and what a fun night THAT was heh heh". I then went out and bought a perfectly mature and incredibly sexy little hot pink negligee, maybe a few sizes up. Yep, still got it, even if it bulges and sags a bit. I'm a woman, not a mannequin!!
A trip down mammary lane!
So funny!
Best thing I’ve done for myself in ages. A couple of weeks ago, I dumped every piece of underwear in the trash. At underwear
That is but one of many zingers in this funny & wise piece
I have an almost duplicate of your dresser and the same happened recently when I turned 70.
No more sexy front clasps and single back clasps for this old gal! I kept none of them.
Some so old (1970s)
the elastic was disintegrated! I found the very bra I wore on my wedding day! Strapless and lacy nude 34AA…. A purge that grieved me but so necessary to make room for knee braces and elastic support socks and arm protectors for thin skin.
Oh dear, how very humbling it is to get older.
Could not love this more and SO relatable. "Mammary lane." This is such clever writing.
And yes, getting a new bra can be deeply unpleasant. I know the exact ladies of the bra fitting era that Melanie speaks of and indeed, I finally found one last year to provide the old school "fitting" because, um, things change. (As an aside, these stalwart, no-nonsense sales women always seem to be about 4' 11" tall, I know not why ...)
Anyway, she ended up fitting me with a "bralette" and when I smiled my shy approval she nodded curtly and said "Yes that's nice on you. Really sucks in the back fat you have."
Harsh! But true. Thanks for this early morning amusement!
Hilarious and historical! From Homer's Illiad: "...she loosed from her bosom the curiously embroidered girdle into which all her charms had been wrought..."
Totally cracking up over the Miss Havisham comment. (I've long harbored a fantasy of opening up a shop called Havisham. What exactly we would sell I've never been sure -- musty old wedding cakes? Maybe bras!)
Hilarious! Yes, out to pasture, indeed. No more wire enclosures. Let those babies run free!
Your writing is so funny! I loved your use of puns to throw us into your quietly hilarious story. There was soft chuckling here. Thanks for sharing this. Is it ok for a man to comment on this?
So funny, so poignant. I'm the opposite of you. If I wear a bra once and hate it, I've been known to cut it off my body with scissors the moment I get home. My lingerie drawer consists of two bras that actually work, plus one I'll force myself into should I need to be more perky for a few hours.
A couple of years ago I recruited a stylist, whom I had met over a decade earlier while working in PR and whom was responsible for preparing the singer Heather Small, for a photo shoot. I'll never forget her saying to me, "Foundation garments are everything." Those words ringing in my ears, and myself reengaging with an earlier career as a singer, I wanted to create a look for my upcoming shows.
First thing on the list was new brassieres and that's when I discovered the Triumph Doreen, a wireless bra that is sold in the gazillions mainly to older woman and is the most flattering and comfortable bra I've ever owned.
Years ago, I probably would have thought it a very frumpy bra, but I actually find the bullet shaped boobs it produces very sexy, and in black lace, with its thick strap, I like to believe I'm reinventing myself as a sexy, older, 1940s film star.
I also like the fact it is devoid of any padding, so when I'm with a man, there's no embarrassment on my part of me thinking that he hasn't actually found my breasts yet through all that stuffing. I still have lots of the old push-up and other bras of yesteryear in my underwear drawer and I keep telling myself that one day I'll do the sensible thing, like you, and get rid of the items that don't fit or work anymore on a 63 year old woman's body. But that is for another day...
Darn it, this was one of the idea I had scribbled down for an "I Don't Know," but no need to worry about it now that the lovely piece exists. Still have to clean out those drawers, though.
Me, too! Time to unload the museum of underthings past from my dresser.
Oh, the underwear drawer, what a trip it is to visit that territory with you! I still think of myself as a modestly endowed woman in the boob department, but menopause + gravity have changed that, and there always seems to be a bit more left over than there used to be! And damn those wired bras are fiendish... I have no idea how I ever had time for them! There are lovely non-wired bra designs available today... online of course!!
Fascinating, and so funny. And I feel like such the odd woman out here.. I was always very shy about my small breasts and I had to buy 32 AAs, and with padding please, because I was wishing always I had bigger breasts. As I got older, it went to 32 A and then 34 A, and gradually got a little bit bigger, as I got older. And now, of course, I feel incredibly lucky because I have these relatively perky boobs that are lower than they used to be but it took until I was in my 70s, with more on my hips and butt that I used to. But I still only have two bras although at times I’ve had three.
Oh my goodness, I could have written this, except not so eloquently as you. Very funny and oh so true.
Cotton tank tops, tight tank tops for formal wear...just kidding. No bra at all! Now we are talking!
Having spent my life in sportswear and boating attire, with a wardrobe for those teaching days, I have never had the racy, sexy bras. What is the first thing most of us fling off when we get home?
As my dear mother used to say, "who needs it? what's the point"? I have to laugh. Weed 'em out!
Love this!! I too miss the ladies who formerly fitted bras. I wear a lot of sport type bras, ordered online, as a result.
They do still exist I hear!
Last time I tried bra shopping at a department store in late 2023, they gave me a few sample bras based on my prior size and a few tips for assessing fit myself. They wouldn’t measure.
You have to go to a dedicated lingerie store to get an in-person fitting. They do a bit more than the online calculators that only measure underbust and bust, because a fitter can see if one breast is larger, or how close together they are. But there are more detailed online tools on some sites.