How online are you? How does being online—and engaging with aging-related media— impact your experience of getting older? An Open Thread, with prompts from the folks at the "Never Post" podcast...
Prior to retirement, I was very much involved with technology and have worked at staying aware of changes/ trends. My iPad and iPhone are my constant companions. I am researching, reading newsletters, running images through Google lens, making purchases, paying bills, participating in social media, corresponding through text, all day every day. At 72, living alone away from family, online technology is a life line.
I am a quiet and very shy person. I have had only a few close friends...2 of my dearest left this earth earlier this year. I am 70 plus in years. Certain health problems limit my mobility a bit. I love being online. It helps me to stay in contact with other people and allows me access to many subjects. I do not spend as much time as I once did at the public library.
This is me too. I’ve outlived both my younger sisters and I’m having a rough year physically. I venture out less. Thankful in equal measure for video calls and creating content to share.
I can identify with you completely. I lost my partner of 20 years recently and after his death, phone and email became my way of staying in touch and keeping my sanity. The nurses, the friends, the family don't realize how important contact is.
Let's see... 52 years old and online a lot. Increasingly, the content online that I find the most gratifying and enlightening has to do with aging, particularly for women. I find myself reflecting on times of significant change and transformation in my life (say, when my first child was born in 2003) when I was not online and the deep isolation I felt. Because I had no way to really experience or track other people's similar feelings and perspectives, I really thought my life, my marriage, myself as a mother, was an unusual train wreck. Turns out, it was a train wreck, but not at all unusual, which would have been a huge help to know. Being online now helps me keep my own chaos and floundering in perspective. At least as it pertains to aging, I'm kinder to myself than I might be because I can track that if I'm as freaky as I feel, then at least I'm in good company.
I think the downside of how much I'm online is particular to folks my age and older; younger folks than me may not ever have quite this trouble. I remember viscerally what it was like to not be online all the time. Most of my life was like that. I can feel how my attention span has degraded. How my ability to be still and quiet has collapsed. How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head. How I don't know how to be bored in a creatively constructive way. Because I had decades of uninterrupted capacity in that regard to look back on and, quite honestly, I yearn for it. But I'm also aware that's a function of nostalgia in some ways, which is the perilous addiction of the old. I don't want to "Make America Great Again", but I do find myself often wishing that I could make my brain great again, which is an equally specious and deluded hope. I still have it, though.
"How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head." Thank you for articulating this so clearly, Asha. I've been very online since the mid-90s, believe it or not, and for so long, being online ENHANCED my offline life by giving me a place to connect, be creative, and contribute. But once social media took off, and then smartphones, I've noticed the opposite. I can't hear my voice as well. My offline/online relationships feel diluted. I feel assaulted by ads, like my personal relationships have been colonized by commerce. And my attention span...well. I'm gradually stepping away and changing my online behavior. It comes with loss and compromise, but it feels healthy and important for me right now. Love, Asha #2
Yes, Yes, YES. I didn't get regularly online until 2008, and in those early days on Facebook it was amazing for me. I live in such a small place compared to where I grew up, and I'd been parenting small kids and very isolated for five years at that point. Facebook allowed me to reconnect and redevelop relationships with friends from all over the world. My life felt instantly more expansive. And when my marriage fell apart, the women that held me online were a lifeline.
But there's definitely been a shift, especially since I started working/writing online in 2017. My willingness to engage in constant online presence felt like it was a career obligation and not just a fun way to connect with distant friends. Smart-phones also didn't help. Gah! So little attention span these days.
I'm very aware that if I were more willing to "hustle" online my writing would get better traction, but I just don't have it in me. And it doesn't really seem to help the actual writing, so it's hard to motivate to change that, anyway.
This is so interesting to me, Asha! “Most of my life was like that. I can feel how my attention span has degraded. How my ability to be still and quiet has collapsed. How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head. How I don't know how to be bored in a creatively constructive way.”
I feel the opposite. I have always had a need to be either doing, or reading. The internet has made that SO MUCH easier for me - with a whole world in this tiny box at the end of my arm, that can be paused and put in my pocket at any moment, when I have IRL doings. PLUS exponentially improved access to other souls, at my whim, always available for interaction on some level, both intellectually stimulating and satisfying!
Possibly this is because my actual inner life has expanded, but is mostly unchanged? Is it because I am physically alone most of the time, as my husband is dead and I live far from my family and closest friends? So much to ponder.
I am Very Online. (53) Part of it is job related. At age 40 I quit my job as a nurse practitioner to do fashion blogging (long story) which led to a career in online journalism. It forced me to engage on the internet a lot, plus I worked with mostly millennials who taught me a ton and modeled internet etiquette. It also forced me to stay current on pop culture and new technology, which I very much try to do now, though TikTok may still be a bridge too far. I used to be a Twitter addict and I credit it with offering me a lot of career opportunities, but now I mostly lurk there and then quickly run away. I enjoy IG but mostly just post on stories. Substack is now a big time suck. I miss print(fashion mags especially), but still read the New Yorker, New York magazine and Hudson valley mag in print. It’s easy to feel “old” online sometimes, because trends and lingo are coming at us in warp speed these days. I find myself wanting to divest from it more, but I am a bit afraid of becoming out of touch, whatever the hell that means.
72 years and online since 2005. As a young person thru middle age I was a big letter writer. A family member recently sent me a cache of letters that I had written from the 70s to the 90s. It was mind blowing to see who I was. Like everyone else I transitioned to email in the 2000s which somehow doesn’t have the same deeper meaning as a hand written letter. Maybe because you had to wait for a letter and it would be a pleasant surprise if you received one. Originally I was on Facebook but I don’t connect with friends on social media. On Instagram I follow my interests without the need to engage personally. I’ve been able to connect with a lot of cool things thru IG including music, food trends and volunteer opportunities. The ability to connect with one’s communities online was a huge benefit during the pandemic. Therapy, recovery meetings and meditation groups were all available. And yes I shop online. Amazon of course but also EBay for new and used clothing brands I really know work for me.
As a modern human and anti-ageism advocate, I spend a lot of time online. I'm so glad I was born in time explore the internet! (I'm 72.) to Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with social media. It's incredibly useful, a hideous time suck, awful, wonderful, etc.. As in IRL, what matters most is the type of folks we hang out with and listen to. There's tremendous pressure to "age well," which in an ageist+sexist+capitalist culture translates to Appearing to Not Age. (Here's a nerdy post about why holding ourselves to the standards of wrinkle-free skydivers is impossible and damaging: https://thischairrocks.com/2018/02/01/why-its-just-fine-to-fail-at-successful-aging/ ). OTOH, as Asha observes below, wonderful virtual communities of older women have emerged during the pandemic. I think they're helping to portray later life in all its wild variety.
Thanks for chiming in, Ashton! You are such an important voice on the topic of aging. I think you're right about the wonderful virtual communities of women that have emerged, and how they are helping to change the narrative!
Oh my God I just scanned your successful aging article and my mind is already blown. Thank you I’m gonna read the whole thing. I followed you and I’m very very glad to have met you here.
"Aging well" = I don't want people to know how old I am because then they'll think I can 't do what I'm doing. I started feeling this way while working on a PhD in educational measurement in my 50s. I quit teaching high school math at 60, then enjoyed teaching a variety of classes as an adjunct at post secondary institutions for another decade. Now I have the luxury of sitting on my deck, reading articles like yours and responding to them. Yep: middle class, lucky to have a strong body and a cheerful disposition while the most positive person I've ever known is curled up on the living room couch because Parkinson's is exhausting.
I’m 58 and started working with the web back in the late 90s. I’ve been through it all, from building in HTML to navigating the transitions to where we are now with platforms like WordPress. Back then, reading the Cluetrain Manifesto had me excited about how the internet could level the playing field for small businesses. I couldn’t have predicted all the downsides, but it’s opened up so many opportunities—helping me build a career, earn a master’s degree, maintain long-distance relationships, and connect with people in ways that were impossible before. My partner and I met online, and we kept a long-distance relationship going for a decade using platforms like Skype—something we couldn’t have done without technology.
In 2018, I did fieldwork with older women who live on the road in RVs, vans, and cars. I was struck by the contrast between the stereotype that older people struggle with tech and the reality. These women were incredibly tech-savvy, using online forums to connect, troubleshoot, and solve problems related to everything from communications to energy and security. Their resilience and ability to adapt put to shame the assumption that older people can’t handle technology. Honestly, they were more efficient and resourceful than many younger folks I’ve worked with.
Right now, I’m diving into AI and exploring its possibilities for human interaction. It offers an interesting potential for co-creation through reflecting and articulation. What has surprised me is that many people, even those who were early adopters, aren’t pushing the limits of AI or exploring what it can offer, even in a playful sense. It's not about age; it’s about curiosity and willingness to adapt. That’s where I see the real gap—not in how old someone is, but in the perception of what being old means in our culture.
"It's not about age; it’s about curiosity and willingness to adapt. That’s where I see the real gap—not in how old someone is, but in the perception of what being old means in our culture." Thanks for this perspective.
I’m doing a much better job of being off my phone and in the moment. When I’m away, I use my phone primarily as a camera and GPS device, but try to stay off the socials. I’ve also rediscovered print as a writing medium. I’ve become somewhat paranoid that electronic storage is inherently unstable, and that one big solar flare could wipe out much of this era’s collective knowledge.
YES! I will never trust it entirely - I recently learned the level of my distrust when I faced moving with my huge collection of books. I buy very little in paper — but anything I might re-read, which is most of my large collection, is coming with me. I also keep print copies of my own work, and continue to hand write sporadic journal updates, although my daily log & to-do lists / planning is on my phone.
I was an early adopter of computers and of being online. In the eighties, I had a Compuserve dial up account and was the first in my company to bypass the travel agent and book my own airline tickets!
Many of these technologies - computers, email, the web - were invented by introverts, people who don't thrive in spaces like open plan offices that were designed by people who do! Being online has allowed a much broader range of people to participate in the work force and in life, including creatives. I've found that being online so much has actually heightened my awareness and enjoyment of the times when I'm not. When walking, cycling, gardening, meeting a friend, I'm more immersed in that experience.
It was perfect timing, John! Interesting point about this all being created by introverts. And that your time off-line is more enjoyable in light of all the time you spend online. Thanks for weighing in.
This 70 yo is online too much, however I can easily set my phone/laptop aside and play guitar (poorly); engage in some DIY project; go hiking/mtn/road biking; or travel. Curiously, I use online resources to learn a new song, figure out a home repair; plan a new route or discover a new destination.
Other than Oldster, I don’t engage in other age-related sites. I love the convenience of online bill-paying, streaming movies and connecting with friends around the globe.
And now it’s time to set my phone down and get on with my day.
I am 52. I am always online, i fear. I have been online for about as long as it has been possible to be online, since some point in my early to mid 20s. Particularly in the early days, the internet gave me the freedom to fall down interesting rabbit holes of my choosing, without fear of judgment from people IRL. It was, in some ways, a bit of a life line at that time, for me for reasons that bear further introspection, I now realize. I have always been acutely aware of my age when online: when I was on Usenet ( yes I am that <Old/>) I had to be very deliberate about how much I choose to disclose both the fact of my youth and my gender. I admit, much of that was motivated by fear; the internet has forever been a dangerous place for women. At my current age, I trust no one but advertisers and data miners care whether I spend my Saturday evenings on IG being influenced by women younger or older than me. It’s kind of freeing as I still fall down the rabbit holes of hyper fixation on a regular basis.
I'm 57. I have been online since AOL. Being able to go back to school with stuff online (like language labs) was a game changer. Being able to access my writing projects across devices is magic. And I have writer friends I have reconnected with on Substack. Love this part of our timeline!
Oh, yes, I remember the AOL days (and dial-up). I think there's more good than bad in digital life. It's amazing what it gives us. But I'm not blind to the downsides.
I’m 68 and love/hate the online world. Right now I’m sitting in a playground surrounded by bouncing, shrieking running children. I’m the one online, not them - thank god. I sometimes hate the over-connectedness and the time wasting allure of anything that smacks of social media. It makes me feel more lonely than just being alone. But I love the online connections to those I love. And I like feeling I’m still a contender by plugging into the interesting stuff that’s going on in the world. I started serialising my memoir on Substack 9 months ago and now Substack is my most time consuming online space. But what a space! The Oldster is the first Substack I subscribed to and I love it!
I’m 73 . I remember AOL dial up. I’m not on Facebook or X. I am politically active. I spend most of my interactive time on Substack. I now shop for many things online but not groceries. Looking back I think the internet has helped me to evolve. I have found my voice. I also find it useful for aging tips, recipes and most anything else.
For every sixteen to twenty hours awake each day, I'm probably online for ten to twelve. As in, my online "channels"—email, social media, podcasts, etc.—are open. I might be actually active for five to eight. Wow, now that I'm saying it, that sounds like a lot! I depend on technology to hear others' stories and share my own. I was a newspaper journalist in the mid-'90s when the Internet arrived. We had no idea back then what an all-encompassing thing it was going to be. Now, at nearly 67, I have a love-hate relationship with my online-ness. I swear we'd be better off if we were still interacting in person—we'd be more civil, more real—but at the same time conceding that horse long ago left the barn. Food for thought.
I'll be 60 in May. I remember in my early 30s asking my husband to input the new web address I wanted to see, because I afraid, somehow, that once false move would 'ruin' the computer, lol.
I visit Facebook and Instagram a few brief scrolls a day: I think it was Anne Helen Peterson who wrote an essay called 'These Women are Only on Facebook for the Groups' and that's kind of my scene. I get very few actual friend updates, and even then sometimes they are a few days old (why the delay, Zuck?)
I am on Twitter constantly, especially in a breaking news or Celeb story. I know it's a hellfire place, but I'm addicted. I'm not on Tik Tok because then I'd never get off my phone. My kids and friends used to send them to me, but TT won't let me open them anymore. Oh Well.
My email is filled with newsletters, Substack and not, paid and not. That's where I spend most of my time. My husband and I joke that I need to go down to part time at work just to keep up. I probably spend three hours a day reading them, so my TV viewing is almost nothing. My deal with myself is that for half my lunch hour I can read newsletters on my phone and the other half I need to read the newspaper, so I remember how. And I'm recommitting to reading before bed (because four books came in at once at the library and they all have waiting lists so I can't keep them. Wish me luck!)
Prior to retirement, I was very much involved with technology and have worked at staying aware of changes/ trends. My iPad and iPhone are my constant companions. I am researching, reading newsletters, running images through Google lens, making purchases, paying bills, participating in social media, corresponding through text, all day every day. At 72, living alone away from family, online technology is a life line.
Yes, I have often thought of it as a “life line.” Thanks for weighing in!
oh, i totally forgot to mention my use of Google Lens and all that administrative stuff i do!
Googling "Google Lens"...
I’m gonna have to google Google lens as well as soon as I finish reading all these comments.
I am a quiet and very shy person. I have had only a few close friends...2 of my dearest left this earth earlier this year. I am 70 plus in years. Certain health problems limit my mobility a bit. I love being online. It helps me to stay in contact with other people and allows me access to many subjects. I do not spend as much time as I once did at the public library.
This is me too. I’ve outlived both my younger sisters and I’m having a rough year physically. I venture out less. Thankful in equal measure for video calls and creating content to share.
<3
I can identify with you completely. I lost my partner of 20 years recently and after his death, phone and email became my way of staying in touch and keeping my sanity. The nurses, the friends, the family don't realize how important contact is.
Let's see... 52 years old and online a lot. Increasingly, the content online that I find the most gratifying and enlightening has to do with aging, particularly for women. I find myself reflecting on times of significant change and transformation in my life (say, when my first child was born in 2003) when I was not online and the deep isolation I felt. Because I had no way to really experience or track other people's similar feelings and perspectives, I really thought my life, my marriage, myself as a mother, was an unusual train wreck. Turns out, it was a train wreck, but not at all unusual, which would have been a huge help to know. Being online now helps me keep my own chaos and floundering in perspective. At least as it pertains to aging, I'm kinder to myself than I might be because I can track that if I'm as freaky as I feel, then at least I'm in good company.
I think the downside of how much I'm online is particular to folks my age and older; younger folks than me may not ever have quite this trouble. I remember viscerally what it was like to not be online all the time. Most of my life was like that. I can feel how my attention span has degraded. How my ability to be still and quiet has collapsed. How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head. How I don't know how to be bored in a creatively constructive way. Because I had decades of uninterrupted capacity in that regard to look back on and, quite honestly, I yearn for it. But I'm also aware that's a function of nostalgia in some ways, which is the perilous addiction of the old. I don't want to "Make America Great Again", but I do find myself often wishing that I could make my brain great again, which is an equally specious and deluded hope. I still have it, though.
Thanks for weighing in, Asha. And I am having a similar experience, contextualizing my experiences of getting older via things I'm reading online.
"How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head." Thank you for articulating this so clearly, Asha. I've been very online since the mid-90s, believe it or not, and for so long, being online ENHANCED my offline life by giving me a place to connect, be creative, and contribute. But once social media took off, and then smartphones, I've noticed the opposite. I can't hear my voice as well. My offline/online relationships feel diluted. I feel assaulted by ads, like my personal relationships have been colonized by commerce. And my attention span...well. I'm gradually stepping away and changing my online behavior. It comes with loss and compromise, but it feels healthy and important for me right now. Love, Asha #2
I love that there are two Ashas in this thread!
Yes, Yes, YES. I didn't get regularly online until 2008, and in those early days on Facebook it was amazing for me. I live in such a small place compared to where I grew up, and I'd been parenting small kids and very isolated for five years at that point. Facebook allowed me to reconnect and redevelop relationships with friends from all over the world. My life felt instantly more expansive. And when my marriage fell apart, the women that held me online were a lifeline.
But there's definitely been a shift, especially since I started working/writing online in 2017. My willingness to engage in constant online presence felt like it was a career obligation and not just a fun way to connect with distant friends. Smart-phones also didn't help. Gah! So little attention span these days.
I'm very aware that if I were more willing to "hustle" online my writing would get better traction, but I just don't have it in me. And it doesn't really seem to help the actual writing, so it's hard to motivate to change that, anyway.
This is so interesting to me, Asha! “Most of my life was like that. I can feel how my attention span has degraded. How my ability to be still and quiet has collapsed. How I struggle to ever feel alone inside my own head. How I don't know how to be bored in a creatively constructive way.”
I feel the opposite. I have always had a need to be either doing, or reading. The internet has made that SO MUCH easier for me - with a whole world in this tiny box at the end of my arm, that can be paused and put in my pocket at any moment, when I have IRL doings. PLUS exponentially improved access to other souls, at my whim, always available for interaction on some level, both intellectually stimulating and satisfying!
Possibly this is because my actual inner life has expanded, but is mostly unchanged? Is it because I am physically alone most of the time, as my husband is dead and I live far from my family and closest friends? So much to ponder.
<3
I am Very Online. (53) Part of it is job related. At age 40 I quit my job as a nurse practitioner to do fashion blogging (long story) which led to a career in online journalism. It forced me to engage on the internet a lot, plus I worked with mostly millennials who taught me a ton and modeled internet etiquette. It also forced me to stay current on pop culture and new technology, which I very much try to do now, though TikTok may still be a bridge too far. I used to be a Twitter addict and I credit it with offering me a lot of career opportunities, but now I mostly lurk there and then quickly run away. I enjoy IG but mostly just post on stories. Substack is now a big time suck. I miss print(fashion mags especially), but still read the New Yorker, New York magazine and Hudson valley mag in print. It’s easy to feel “old” online sometimes, because trends and lingo are coming at us in warp speed these days. I find myself wanting to divest from it more, but I am a bit afraid of becoming out of touch, whatever the hell that means.
This very much resonates. And how great that you were able to successfully switch careers.
72 years and online since 2005. As a young person thru middle age I was a big letter writer. A family member recently sent me a cache of letters that I had written from the 70s to the 90s. It was mind blowing to see who I was. Like everyone else I transitioned to email in the 2000s which somehow doesn’t have the same deeper meaning as a hand written letter. Maybe because you had to wait for a letter and it would be a pleasant surprise if you received one. Originally I was on Facebook but I don’t connect with friends on social media. On Instagram I follow my interests without the need to engage personally. I’ve been able to connect with a lot of cool things thru IG including music, food trends and volunteer opportunities. The ability to connect with one’s communities online was a huge benefit during the pandemic. Therapy, recovery meetings and meditation groups were all available. And yes I shop online. Amazon of course but also EBay for new and used clothing brands I really know work for me.
As a modern human and anti-ageism advocate, I spend a lot of time online. I'm so glad I was born in time explore the internet! (I'm 72.) to Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with social media. It's incredibly useful, a hideous time suck, awful, wonderful, etc.. As in IRL, what matters most is the type of folks we hang out with and listen to. There's tremendous pressure to "age well," which in an ageist+sexist+capitalist culture translates to Appearing to Not Age. (Here's a nerdy post about why holding ourselves to the standards of wrinkle-free skydivers is impossible and damaging: https://thischairrocks.com/2018/02/01/why-its-just-fine-to-fail-at-successful-aging/ ). OTOH, as Asha observes below, wonderful virtual communities of older women have emerged during the pandemic. I think they're helping to portray later life in all its wild variety.
Thanks for chiming in, Ashton! You are such an important voice on the topic of aging. I think you're right about the wonderful virtual communities of women that have emerged, and how they are helping to change the narrative!
GREAT nerdy post, Ashton! I love the term “aging comfortably”. So many great points, with which I totally agree.
Oh my God I just scanned your successful aging article and my mind is already blown. Thank you I’m gonna read the whole thing. I followed you and I’m very very glad to have met you here.
Hail, fellow nerd :D Thanks for reading.
"Aging well" = I don't want people to know how old I am because then they'll think I can 't do what I'm doing. I started feeling this way while working on a PhD in educational measurement in my 50s. I quit teaching high school math at 60, then enjoyed teaching a variety of classes as an adjunct at post secondary institutions for another decade. Now I have the luxury of sitting on my deck, reading articles like yours and responding to them. Yep: middle class, lucky to have a strong body and a cheerful disposition while the most positive person I've ever known is curled up on the living room couch because Parkinson's is exhausting.
❤️
I’m 58 and started working with the web back in the late 90s. I’ve been through it all, from building in HTML to navigating the transitions to where we are now with platforms like WordPress. Back then, reading the Cluetrain Manifesto had me excited about how the internet could level the playing field for small businesses. I couldn’t have predicted all the downsides, but it’s opened up so many opportunities—helping me build a career, earn a master’s degree, maintain long-distance relationships, and connect with people in ways that were impossible before. My partner and I met online, and we kept a long-distance relationship going for a decade using platforms like Skype—something we couldn’t have done without technology.
In 2018, I did fieldwork with older women who live on the road in RVs, vans, and cars. I was struck by the contrast between the stereotype that older people struggle with tech and the reality. These women were incredibly tech-savvy, using online forums to connect, troubleshoot, and solve problems related to everything from communications to energy and security. Their resilience and ability to adapt put to shame the assumption that older people can’t handle technology. Honestly, they were more efficient and resourceful than many younger folks I’ve worked with.
Right now, I’m diving into AI and exploring its possibilities for human interaction. It offers an interesting potential for co-creation through reflecting and articulation. What has surprised me is that many people, even those who were early adopters, aren’t pushing the limits of AI or exploring what it can offer, even in a playful sense. It's not about age; it’s about curiosity and willingness to adapt. That’s where I see the real gap—not in how old someone is, but in the perception of what being old means in our culture.
"It's not about age; it’s about curiosity and willingness to adapt. That’s where I see the real gap—not in how old someone is, but in the perception of what being old means in our culture." Thanks for this perspective.
I’m doing a much better job of being off my phone and in the moment. When I’m away, I use my phone primarily as a camera and GPS device, but try to stay off the socials. I’ve also rediscovered print as a writing medium. I’ve become somewhat paranoid that electronic storage is inherently unstable, and that one big solar flare could wipe out much of this era’s collective knowledge.
Yes, I worry about this, too! The term “server farm” haunts me.
YES! I will never trust it entirely - I recently learned the level of my distrust when I faced moving with my huge collection of books. I buy very little in paper — but anything I might re-read, which is most of my large collection, is coming with me. I also keep print copies of my own work, and continue to hand write sporadic journal updates, although my daily log & to-do lists / planning is on my phone.
Thanks for the mention, Sari.
I was an early adopter of computers and of being online. In the eighties, I had a Compuserve dial up account and was the first in my company to bypass the travel agent and book my own airline tickets!
Many of these technologies - computers, email, the web - were invented by introverts, people who don't thrive in spaces like open plan offices that were designed by people who do! Being online has allowed a much broader range of people to participate in the work force and in life, including creatives. I've found that being online so much has actually heightened my awareness and enjoyment of the times when I'm not. When walking, cycling, gardening, meeting a friend, I'm more immersed in that experience.
It was perfect timing, John! Interesting point about this all being created by introverts. And that your time off-line is more enjoyable in light of all the time you spend online. Thanks for weighing in.
This 70 yo is online too much, however I can easily set my phone/laptop aside and play guitar (poorly); engage in some DIY project; go hiking/mtn/road biking; or travel. Curiously, I use online resources to learn a new song, figure out a home repair; plan a new route or discover a new destination.
Other than Oldster, I don’t engage in other age-related sites. I love the convenience of online bill-paying, streaming movies and connecting with friends around the globe.
And now it’s time to set my phone down and get on with my day.
Thanks for chiming in before logging off!
I am 52. I am always online, i fear. I have been online for about as long as it has been possible to be online, since some point in my early to mid 20s. Particularly in the early days, the internet gave me the freedom to fall down interesting rabbit holes of my choosing, without fear of judgment from people IRL. It was, in some ways, a bit of a life line at that time, for me for reasons that bear further introspection, I now realize. I have always been acutely aware of my age when online: when I was on Usenet ( yes I am that <Old/>) I had to be very deliberate about how much I choose to disclose both the fact of my youth and my gender. I admit, much of that was motivated by fear; the internet has forever been a dangerous place for women. At my current age, I trust no one but advertisers and data miners care whether I spend my Saturday evenings on IG being influenced by women younger or older than me. It’s kind of freeing as I still fall down the rabbit holes of hyper fixation on a regular basis.
Thank you for bringing up these aspects of age and gender on the internet.
I'm 57. I have been online since AOL. Being able to go back to school with stuff online (like language labs) was a game changer. Being able to access my writing projects across devices is magic. And I have writer friends I have reconnected with on Substack. Love this part of our timeline!
Oh, yes, I remember the AOL days (and dial-up). I think there's more good than bad in digital life. It's amazing what it gives us. But I'm not blind to the downsides.
I’m 68 and love/hate the online world. Right now I’m sitting in a playground surrounded by bouncing, shrieking running children. I’m the one online, not them - thank god. I sometimes hate the over-connectedness and the time wasting allure of anything that smacks of social media. It makes me feel more lonely than just being alone. But I love the online connections to those I love. And I like feeling I’m still a contender by plugging into the interesting stuff that’s going on in the world. I started serialising my memoir on Substack 9 months ago and now Substack is my most time consuming online space. But what a space! The Oldster is the first Substack I subscribed to and I love it!
I’m 73 . I remember AOL dial up. I’m not on Facebook or X. I am politically active. I spend most of my interactive time on Substack. I now shop for many things online but not groceries. Looking back I think the internet has helped me to evolve. I have found my voice. I also find it useful for aging tips, recipes and most anything else.
Oh, the AOL dialup days… Glad to hear you’re finding what you need online. Me, too. (Mostly.)
For every sixteen to twenty hours awake each day, I'm probably online for ten to twelve. As in, my online "channels"—email, social media, podcasts, etc.—are open. I might be actually active for five to eight. Wow, now that I'm saying it, that sounds like a lot! I depend on technology to hear others' stories and share my own. I was a newspaper journalist in the mid-'90s when the Internet arrived. We had no idea back then what an all-encompassing thing it was going to be. Now, at nearly 67, I have a love-hate relationship with my online-ness. I swear we'd be better off if we were still interacting in person—we'd be more civil, more real—but at the same time conceding that horse long ago left the barn. Food for thought.
I'll be 60 in May. I remember in my early 30s asking my husband to input the new web address I wanted to see, because I afraid, somehow, that once false move would 'ruin' the computer, lol.
I visit Facebook and Instagram a few brief scrolls a day: I think it was Anne Helen Peterson who wrote an essay called 'These Women are Only on Facebook for the Groups' and that's kind of my scene. I get very few actual friend updates, and even then sometimes they are a few days old (why the delay, Zuck?)
I am on Twitter constantly, especially in a breaking news or Celeb story. I know it's a hellfire place, but I'm addicted. I'm not on Tik Tok because then I'd never get off my phone. My kids and friends used to send them to me, but TT won't let me open them anymore. Oh Well.
My email is filled with newsletters, Substack and not, paid and not. That's where I spend most of my time. My husband and I joke that I need to go down to part time at work just to keep up. I probably spend three hours a day reading them, so my TV viewing is almost nothing. My deal with myself is that for half my lunch hour I can read newsletters on my phone and the other half I need to read the newspaper, so I remember how. And I'm recommitting to reading before bed (because four books came in at once at the library and they all have waiting lists so I can't keep them. Wish me luck!)
I am trying to retrain myself to read physical novels! Reading Catherine Newman's "Sandwich" now, and it's working...