I believe you can deeply love a person but not be a good, comfortable fit with each other's desires, habits, distractions, absences... Some people are best in the position of 'once removed'. Whether you are positioned outward by a significant other's children, their job, their geographical location, their spouse - it doesn't matter until those things fall away and that person wants more of you. I'm excited to read the book!
What stood out immediately for me is the ingrained idea that one love that lasts “forever“ is the goal, the holy grail. But Ron, I am assuming, has had many loves, and yay for Ron. Upsides and down to all the versions. He may be more a polyamorist than he has acknowledged to himself.
This is an excellent piece with so much to ponder. Thanks for posting it. It occurs to me that one explanation for why his relationships didn’t last is that he is an introvert who, as he says is perfectly happy reading a book when he’s not in the intense throws of romance.that ability to sustain a long-term relationship in the ordinary mundane moments!
Maya was a very smart woman.
I believe you can deeply love a person but not be a good, comfortable fit with each other's desires, habits, distractions, absences... Some people are best in the position of 'once removed'. Whether you are positioned outward by a significant other's children, their job, their geographical location, their spouse - it doesn't matter until those things fall away and that person wants more of you. I'm excited to read the book!
What stood out immediately for me is the ingrained idea that one love that lasts “forever“ is the goal, the holy grail. But Ron, I am assuming, has had many loves, and yay for Ron. Upsides and down to all the versions. He may be more a polyamorist than he has acknowledged to himself.
This is an excellent piece with so much to ponder. Thanks for posting it. It occurs to me that one explanation for why his relationships didn’t last is that he is an introvert who, as he says is perfectly happy reading a book when he’s not in the intense throws of romance.that ability to sustain a long-term relationship in the ordinary mundane moments!
Two years? Seven? Try thirty-two. Cancer was my unrelenting rival. Not at all handsome and charming (like me?) but so clever and persistent.
Still the question “can I love again” annoyingly returns. As does Larkin’s.
Your moment of “mutual recognition” was when you and your self recognized that the answer to your question was “Ron”.
Right there in front of your face? Or in the shaving mirror? For better of for worse. Until you depart.