This is my introduction to you, Laurie Stone. What a wonderfully skilled writer you are, who clearly practices what you so passionately plead for---creators' love for their creations---as every line of your essay comes alive with that love. And with a fierce defense of women growing older, a process of mystery and ordinariness which you describe so well. No wonder you are outraged by the ineptness and the contempt and lack of empathy shown by the writers of this show. Not so dissimilar from the attitudes of society toward the woman growing older. Thank you for making us share your outrage and increasing our desire to see truthful, compassionate treatments of women growing older.
If AJLT were a delightful bit of froth about postmenopausal life in NYC, most of us would be happy to suspend our disbelief and allow for occasional lapses in logic. SATC asked its audience to do just that, and we did, because it was smart and funny, and the clothes and the apartments were fabulous.
But while AJLT may be froth, it isn’t delightful, and it isn’t delightful because it’s badly written. It sacrifices its characters to sitcom plots. Charlotte’s charm has soured into ludicrousness; she has no substance. Miranda used to be hard-headed and clear-sighted; now she’s like your best friend in high school’s sad mom, the one who floated around the house in a moth-eaten sweater, a used kleenex tucked into the band of her wristwatch. Carrie seems frozen in time; she hasn’t changed in any meaningful way in the last twenty years, other than she used to be fresh and charming. Now she’s neither.
The laziness of the writing makes me crazy. The Valentine’s Day ep where a significant plot point was that there were no dinner reservations available, and yet Carrie walks into a near-empty restaurant to wait for Aidan—this is typical of the entire series. Every episode feels like a first draft badly in need of an editor. Do the writers not see this? Or are they just too indifferent to care? Check gets deposited either way.
I recently watched The Detectorists movie (it’s on Acorn), in which the writers undid the beautiful resolution of the final episode of the final season. They took it all back—all the lovely, magical things that gave the characters a well-deserved happy ending. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them. I’m not as emotionally invested in the SATC characters, but it still makes me mad on principal that the writers stripped them of their essential selves and made them boring and nonsensical.
Bravo! I couldn't even get through the first episode of AJLT for all the reasons you spoke to (sadly). I work with women 50+ regularly (and am 60 myself) and in real life they are the most interesting, dynamic, funny, insightful people - It's so confusing and disheartening to tune into all these programs who are somehow clueless to that fact.
Aug 10, 2023·edited Aug 10, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone
There's an episode of the Bald and the Beautiful podcast with drag queens, Trixie Mattel and Katya, in which Trixie states that neither straight nor gay men understand women. I often thought that myself when I watched SATC and now read AJLT critiques (I can't bear to watch it). Wonderful observations in your piece.
You’ve perfectly articulated the problem with this show. Thank you thank you…may my multiple forwards with the subject line THIS! garner many subscribers.
Yes! I think my biggest issue with the show is that it doesn't ring true psychologically. It presents these women in their 50s still living as if they were in their 30s, drinking and partying their way through menopause. In reality the people who tend to do worst in midlife (get depressed, sick, struggle the most with menopause) are the ones doing exactly this - trying to cling on to the values of youth with a white-knuckle grip rather than recognising that the second half of life requires a different road-map and value system, one which perhaps focuses more on the inner life and self-development. The show doesn't ring true of the 50-something women in my world and it's such a missed opportunity to explore this developmental stage of womanhood in a more thoughtful, meaningful and nuanced way...
This piece was GOLD and nailed it ! The writing was horrible and it all felt flat and fake and empty not to mention the entitlement. As a 65 yo professional woman I don’t know anyone who depicts those “characters “. It was embarrassing to watch.
"No one can love a thing that begs for your approval. A thing that begs for your approval is sad and boring. (I know this for a fact, having done it enough times in my life.)" A dazzling, brilliant assessment! Thank you so much for this gorgeous critique.
Another fabulous essay, and I love how the thinking moves through its process. That kind of essay is always so satisfying a journey. And to have generosity and passions and anger move through it as well--I print out those of your essays and have a growing notebook of them now. So glad to have been alive (and still am) through so many feminist decades and smart feminisms. Bows of gratitude.
One of the best parts about the original series is how well the writers put flesh on the bones of each character. Were they archetypical depictions of women in their mid-30s? Sure. They were all also highly imperfect people, but imperfect in a way that was relatable and (mostly) enjoyable to watch. I keep waiting for the plot device that explains how each of the SATC main characters aged into their current versions, because there’s just no internal logic that makes sense of who they’ve become. Maybe we need a Black Mirror cross-over? We’ll find out that after the last movie, their brains were cryogenically frozen in boxes stored in the basement of Barney’s with only certain stimuli available to them.
Oh, Laurie, you take my breath away. Who writes like that? Apparently you. (Sigh.) As a former Sex in the City addict whose parasocial intimacy with four characters I hated and loved, yes, like watching a car accident unable to look away, I confess I just can't get enough. Go ahead SJP, jut keep aging. Why not you, too? All the shoes in the world can't stop it. I have dream, Laurie, because hubris is my middle name: would you be willing to read the manuscript for my debut memoir and write one sentence about it? Just one sentence. Because one sentence from you is pure gold. With awe, Margaret Mandell
Last night I sat through Season 3 of SATC with my 20-year-old daughter, who recently discovered the show. I was cringing through the gender episode (Miranda struggling not to be "the man" in the relationship, Charlotte cross dressing to excite her new boyfriend, Carrie rejecting a world where she gets to casually kiss Alanis Morrisette) when my daughter piped up, "This is so fucking REFRESHING." I guess because everything felt weird and chaotic and messy in ways television is no longer allowed to be. (Don't get me wrong - my kids will dress as/act like/kiss anyone who strikes their fancy without a moment's hesitation, and without turning it into a plot point.) Meanwhile I'm toothpicking my eyes open to get through the latest season, which is similarly irrelevant to my own middle aged life, but which lacks the chaos and mess that could make it watchable. Transparent, on the other hand - god I miss that show.
Oh, bravo! 👏 I have watched season one and the first few episodes of season two and then have trailed off since I’ve been traveling. I can’t say it’s been a hate-watch but it’s certainly had more cringey moments than I care to enumerate. This is the best analysis I have read of it to date.
Just these lines alone: "It thinks women become stupider, more fearful, and more emotionally enfeebled as they get older. They need to be helped across the street of life." What a magnificent writer you are, Laurie Stone.
I was so excited when it started. After enjoying the SATC years, I was anxious about how the writers would handle the women growing older. After getting through a couple episodes, I have to agree it's just not watchable for me. Laurie, spot on critique!
This is my introduction to you, Laurie Stone. What a wonderfully skilled writer you are, who clearly practices what you so passionately plead for---creators' love for their creations---as every line of your essay comes alive with that love. And with a fierce defense of women growing older, a process of mystery and ordinariness which you describe so well. No wonder you are outraged by the ineptness and the contempt and lack of empathy shown by the writers of this show. Not so dissimilar from the attitudes of society toward the woman growing older. Thank you for making us share your outrage and increasing our desire to see truthful, compassionate treatments of women growing older.
I loved this post! Thank you for writing it.
If AJLT were a delightful bit of froth about postmenopausal life in NYC, most of us would be happy to suspend our disbelief and allow for occasional lapses in logic. SATC asked its audience to do just that, and we did, because it was smart and funny, and the clothes and the apartments were fabulous.
But while AJLT may be froth, it isn’t delightful, and it isn’t delightful because it’s badly written. It sacrifices its characters to sitcom plots. Charlotte’s charm has soured into ludicrousness; she has no substance. Miranda used to be hard-headed and clear-sighted; now she’s like your best friend in high school’s sad mom, the one who floated around the house in a moth-eaten sweater, a used kleenex tucked into the band of her wristwatch. Carrie seems frozen in time; she hasn’t changed in any meaningful way in the last twenty years, other than she used to be fresh and charming. Now she’s neither.
The laziness of the writing makes me crazy. The Valentine’s Day ep where a significant plot point was that there were no dinner reservations available, and yet Carrie walks into a near-empty restaurant to wait for Aidan—this is typical of the entire series. Every episode feels like a first draft badly in need of an editor. Do the writers not see this? Or are they just too indifferent to care? Check gets deposited either way.
I recently watched The Detectorists movie (it’s on Acorn), in which the writers undid the beautiful resolution of the final episode of the final season. They took it all back—all the lovely, magical things that gave the characters a well-deserved happy ending. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them. I’m not as emotionally invested in the SATC characters, but it still makes me mad on principal that the writers stripped them of their essential selves and made them boring and nonsensical.
Bravo! I couldn't even get through the first episode of AJLT for all the reasons you spoke to (sadly). I work with women 50+ regularly (and am 60 myself) and in real life they are the most interesting, dynamic, funny, insightful people - It's so confusing and disheartening to tune into all these programs who are somehow clueless to that fact.
There's an episode of the Bald and the Beautiful podcast with drag queens, Trixie Mattel and Katya, in which Trixie states that neither straight nor gay men understand women. I often thought that myself when I watched SATC and now read AJLT critiques (I can't bear to watch it). Wonderful observations in your piece.
You’ve perfectly articulated the problem with this show. Thank you thank you…may my multiple forwards with the subject line THIS! garner many subscribers.
Yes! I think my biggest issue with the show is that it doesn't ring true psychologically. It presents these women in their 50s still living as if they were in their 30s, drinking and partying their way through menopause. In reality the people who tend to do worst in midlife (get depressed, sick, struggle the most with menopause) are the ones doing exactly this - trying to cling on to the values of youth with a white-knuckle grip rather than recognising that the second half of life requires a different road-map and value system, one which perhaps focuses more on the inner life and self-development. The show doesn't ring true of the 50-something women in my world and it's such a missed opportunity to explore this developmental stage of womanhood in a more thoughtful, meaningful and nuanced way...
Oh, Laurie, this line: "but the character is written as a bar code of identity-marker clichés." 👏👏👏
This piece was GOLD and nailed it ! The writing was horrible and it all felt flat and fake and empty not to mention the entitlement. As a 65 yo professional woman I don’t know anyone who depicts those “characters “. It was embarrassing to watch.
"No one can love a thing that begs for your approval. A thing that begs for your approval is sad and boring. (I know this for a fact, having done it enough times in my life.)" A dazzling, brilliant assessment! Thank you so much for this gorgeous critique.
Another fabulous essay, and I love how the thinking moves through its process. That kind of essay is always so satisfying a journey. And to have generosity and passions and anger move through it as well--I print out those of your essays and have a growing notebook of them now. So glad to have been alive (and still am) through so many feminist decades and smart feminisms. Bows of gratitude.
One of the best parts about the original series is how well the writers put flesh on the bones of each character. Were they archetypical depictions of women in their mid-30s? Sure. They were all also highly imperfect people, but imperfect in a way that was relatable and (mostly) enjoyable to watch. I keep waiting for the plot device that explains how each of the SATC main characters aged into their current versions, because there’s just no internal logic that makes sense of who they’ve become. Maybe we need a Black Mirror cross-over? We’ll find out that after the last movie, their brains were cryogenically frozen in boxes stored in the basement of Barney’s with only certain stimuli available to them.
Oh, Laurie, you take my breath away. Who writes like that? Apparently you. (Sigh.) As a former Sex in the City addict whose parasocial intimacy with four characters I hated and loved, yes, like watching a car accident unable to look away, I confess I just can't get enough. Go ahead SJP, jut keep aging. Why not you, too? All the shoes in the world can't stop it. I have dream, Laurie, because hubris is my middle name: would you be willing to read the manuscript for my debut memoir and write one sentence about it? Just one sentence. Because one sentence from you is pure gold. With awe, Margaret Mandell
Last night I sat through Season 3 of SATC with my 20-year-old daughter, who recently discovered the show. I was cringing through the gender episode (Miranda struggling not to be "the man" in the relationship, Charlotte cross dressing to excite her new boyfriend, Carrie rejecting a world where she gets to casually kiss Alanis Morrisette) when my daughter piped up, "This is so fucking REFRESHING." I guess because everything felt weird and chaotic and messy in ways television is no longer allowed to be. (Don't get me wrong - my kids will dress as/act like/kiss anyone who strikes their fancy without a moment's hesitation, and without turning it into a plot point.) Meanwhile I'm toothpicking my eyes open to get through the latest season, which is similarly irrelevant to my own middle aged life, but which lacks the chaos and mess that could make it watchable. Transparent, on the other hand - god I miss that show.
Oh, bravo! 👏 I have watched season one and the first few episodes of season two and then have trailed off since I’ve been traveling. I can’t say it’s been a hate-watch but it’s certainly had more cringey moments than I care to enumerate. This is the best analysis I have read of it to date.
Just these lines alone: "It thinks women become stupider, more fearful, and more emotionally enfeebled as they get older. They need to be helped across the street of life." What a magnificent writer you are, Laurie Stone.
I was so excited when it started. After enjoying the SATC years, I was anxious about how the writers would handle the women growing older. After getting through a couple episodes, I have to agree it's just not watchable for me. Laurie, spot on critique!