This is my introduction to you, Laurie Stone. What a wonderfully skilled writer you are, who clearly practices what you so passionately plead for---creators' love for their creations---as every line of your essay comes alive with that love. And with a fierce defense of women growing older, a process of mystery and ordinariness which you describe so well. No wonder you are outraged by the ineptness and the contempt and lack of empathy shown by the writers of this show. Not so dissimilar from the attitudes of society toward the woman growing older. Thank you for making us share your outrage and increasing our desire to see truthful, compassionate treatments of women growing older.
If AJLT were a delightful bit of froth about postmenopausal life in NYC, most of us would be happy to suspend our disbelief and allow for occasional lapses in logic. SATC asked its audience to do just that, and we did, because it was smart and funny, and the clothes and the apartments were fabulous.
But while AJLT may be froth, it isn’t delightful, and it isn’t delightful because it’s badly written. It sacrifices its characters to sitcom plots. Charlotte’s charm has soured into ludicrousness; she has no substance. Miranda used to be hard-headed and clear-sighted; now she’s like your best friend in high school’s sad mom, the one who floated around the house in a moth-eaten sweater, a used kleenex tucked into the band of her wristwatch. Carrie seems frozen in time; she hasn’t changed in any meaningful way in the last twenty years, other than she used to be fresh and charming. Now she’s neither.
The laziness of the writing makes me crazy. The Valentine’s Day ep where a significant plot point was that there were no dinner reservations available, and yet Carrie walks into a near-empty restaurant to wait for Aidan—this is typical of the entire series. Every episode feels like a first draft badly in need of an editor. Do the writers not see this? Or are they just too indifferent to care? Check gets deposited either way.
I recently watched The Detectorists movie (it’s on Acorn), in which the writers undid the beautiful resolution of the final episode of the final season. They took it all back—all the lovely, magical things that gave the characters a well-deserved happy ending. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them. I’m not as emotionally invested in the SATC characters, but it still makes me mad on principal that the writers stripped them of their essential selves and made them boring and nonsensical.
I love your writing so much that your reply to my comment actually made me blush. I hope everyone who enjoys this post will run out and buy copies of Streaming Now and Everything is Personal immediately. They're both glorious.
Bravo! I couldn't even get through the first episode of AJLT for all the reasons you spoke to (sadly). I work with women 50+ regularly (and am 60 myself) and in real life they are the most interesting, dynamic, funny, insightful people - It's so confusing and disheartening to tune into all these programs who are somehow clueless to that fact.
There's an episode of the Bald and the Beautiful podcast with drag queens, Trixie Mattel and Katya, in which Trixie states that neither straight nor gay men understand women. I often thought that myself when I watched SATC and now read AJLT critiques (I can't bear to watch it). Wonderful observations in your piece.
Agreed. My closest friendship group of decades has been me and 3 gay men.
It's true now in our 50s just as it was in our 20s-- they do not in certain ways get me deeply and yet it's enough that they love me deeply. This speaks to the points about SATC and AJLT. SATC is like my friendship group -- the love is there albeit some cluelessness of not understanding women. But AJLT? I have yet to see it but if the love isn't there, combined with not understanding women, it's not only misogyny and objectification -- it is art poorly done.
You’ve perfectly articulated the problem with this show. Thank you thank you…may my multiple forwards with the subject line THIS! garner many subscribers.
Yes! I think my biggest issue with the show is that it doesn't ring true psychologically. It presents these women in their 50s still living as if they were in their 30s, drinking and partying their way through menopause. In reality the people who tend to do worst in midlife (get depressed, sick, struggle the most with menopause) are the ones doing exactly this - trying to cling on to the values of youth with a white-knuckle grip rather than recognising that the second half of life requires a different road-map and value system, one which perhaps focuses more on the inner life and self-development. The show doesn't ring true of the 50-something women in my world and it's such a missed opportunity to explore this developmental stage of womanhood in a more thoughtful, meaningful and nuanced way...
Every press release I receive from every publisher on the planet extolls the book with a bar code of identity marker cliches instead of offering an example of its beauty or intelligence. That's where we are. The culture of marketing. I'm not buying.
As a recovering marketer, I am with you in despising that aspect of life these days. Humans insist on squeezing the life out of most everything in search of a few more piles of coin. I'm also tired of money leading the campaign for anything.
This piece was GOLD and nailed it ! The writing was horrible and it all felt flat and fake and empty not to mention the entitlement. As a 65 yo professional woman I don’t know anyone who depicts those “characters “. It was embarrassing to watch.
"No one can love a thing that begs for your approval. A thing that begs for your approval is sad and boring. (I know this for a fact, having done it enough times in my life.)" A dazzling, brilliant assessment! Thank you so much for this gorgeous critique.
Another fabulous essay, and I love how the thinking moves through its process. That kind of essay is always so satisfying a journey. And to have generosity and passions and anger move through it as well--I print out those of your essays and have a growing notebook of them now. So glad to have been alive (and still am) through so many feminist decades and smart feminisms. Bows of gratitude.
Laurie Stone, not sure if you will read this, but it's now a day or two after YOU have followed ME, if I understand correctly. Is there a way for me to send you a pm or something like it? --- Theresa (All other readers, please ignore this message, it's for Laurie in particular.)
One of the best parts about the original series is how well the writers put flesh on the bones of each character. Were they archetypical depictions of women in their mid-30s? Sure. They were all also highly imperfect people, but imperfect in a way that was relatable and (mostly) enjoyable to watch. I keep waiting for the plot device that explains how each of the SATC main characters aged into their current versions, because there’s just no internal logic that makes sense of who they’ve become. Maybe we need a Black Mirror cross-over? We’ll find out that after the last movie, their brains were cryogenically frozen in boxes stored in the basement of Barney’s with only certain stimuli available to them.
Oh, Laurie, you take my breath away. Who writes like that? Apparently you. (Sigh.) As a former Sex in the City addict whose parasocial intimacy with four characters I hated and loved, yes, like watching a car accident unable to look away, I confess I just can't get enough. Go ahead SJP, jut keep aging. Why not you, too? All the shoes in the world can't stop it. I have dream, Laurie, because hubris is my middle name: would you be willing to read the manuscript for my debut memoir and write one sentence about it? Just one sentence. Because one sentence from you is pure gold. With awe, Margaret Mandell
Last night I sat through Season 3 of SATC with my 20-year-old daughter, who recently discovered the show. I was cringing through the gender episode (Miranda struggling not to be "the man" in the relationship, Charlotte cross dressing to excite her new boyfriend, Carrie rejecting a world where she gets to casually kiss Alanis Morrisette) when my daughter piped up, "This is so fucking REFRESHING." I guess because everything felt weird and chaotic and messy in ways television is no longer allowed to be. (Don't get me wrong - my kids will dress as/act like/kiss anyone who strikes their fancy without a moment's hesitation, and without turning it into a plot point.) Meanwhile I'm toothpicking my eyes open to get through the latest season, which is similarly irrelevant to my own middle aged life, but which lacks the chaos and mess that could make it watchable. Transparent, on the other hand - god I miss that show.
Oh, bravo! 👏 I have watched season one and the first few episodes of season two and then have trailed off since I’ve been traveling. I can’t say it’s been a hate-watch but it’s certainly had more cringey moments than I care to enumerate. This is the best analysis I have read of it to date.
Just these lines alone: "It thinks women become stupider, more fearful, and more emotionally enfeebled as they get older. They need to be helped across the street of life." What a magnificent writer you are, Laurie Stone.
I was so excited when it started. After enjoying the SATC years, I was anxious about how the writers would handle the women growing older. After getting through a couple episodes, I have to agree it's just not watchable for me. Laurie, spot on critique!
This is my introduction to you, Laurie Stone. What a wonderfully skilled writer you are, who clearly practices what you so passionately plead for---creators' love for their creations---as every line of your essay comes alive with that love. And with a fierce defense of women growing older, a process of mystery and ordinariness which you describe so well. No wonder you are outraged by the ineptness and the contempt and lack of empathy shown by the writers of this show. Not so dissimilar from the attitudes of society toward the woman growing older. Thank you for making us share your outrage and increasing our desire to see truthful, compassionate treatments of women growing older.
I am thrilled by this comment! Huge thanks.
I loved this post! Thank you for writing it.
If AJLT were a delightful bit of froth about postmenopausal life in NYC, most of us would be happy to suspend our disbelief and allow for occasional lapses in logic. SATC asked its audience to do just that, and we did, because it was smart and funny, and the clothes and the apartments were fabulous.
But while AJLT may be froth, it isn’t delightful, and it isn’t delightful because it’s badly written. It sacrifices its characters to sitcom plots. Charlotte’s charm has soured into ludicrousness; she has no substance. Miranda used to be hard-headed and clear-sighted; now she’s like your best friend in high school’s sad mom, the one who floated around the house in a moth-eaten sweater, a used kleenex tucked into the band of her wristwatch. Carrie seems frozen in time; she hasn’t changed in any meaningful way in the last twenty years, other than she used to be fresh and charming. Now she’s neither.
The laziness of the writing makes me crazy. The Valentine’s Day ep where a significant plot point was that there were no dinner reservations available, and yet Carrie walks into a near-empty restaurant to wait for Aidan—this is typical of the entire series. Every episode feels like a first draft badly in need of an editor. Do the writers not see this? Or are they just too indifferent to care? Check gets deposited either way.
I recently watched The Detectorists movie (it’s on Acorn), in which the writers undid the beautiful resolution of the final episode of the final season. They took it all back—all the lovely, magical things that gave the characters a well-deserved happy ending. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them. I’m not as emotionally invested in the SATC characters, but it still makes me mad on principal that the writers stripped them of their essential selves and made them boring and nonsensical.
Wow, I like your post better than mine! The sad mom with the used Kleenex tucked into her watch-band. Genius. I bow to you. xxL
I love your writing so much that your reply to my comment actually made me blush. I hope everyone who enjoys this post will run out and buy copies of Streaming Now and Everything is Personal immediately. They're both glorious.
Oh, you darling. Very happy to know you. xxL
Bravo! I couldn't even get through the first episode of AJLT for all the reasons you spoke to (sadly). I work with women 50+ regularly (and am 60 myself) and in real life they are the most interesting, dynamic, funny, insightful people - It's so confusing and disheartening to tune into all these programs who are somehow clueless to that fact.
Misogyny unites warring cultures across the planet. It's very popular. Perhaps you've heard of it.😊
There's an episode of the Bald and the Beautiful podcast with drag queens, Trixie Mattel and Katya, in which Trixie states that neither straight nor gay men understand women. I often thought that myself when I watched SATC and now read AJLT critiques (I can't bear to watch it). Wonderful observations in your piece.
Gay men are men. Agree.
Agreed. My closest friendship group of decades has been me and 3 gay men.
It's true now in our 50s just as it was in our 20s-- they do not in certain ways get me deeply and yet it's enough that they love me deeply. This speaks to the points about SATC and AJLT. SATC is like my friendship group -- the love is there albeit some cluelessness of not understanding women. But AJLT? I have yet to see it but if the love isn't there, combined with not understanding women, it's not only misogyny and objectification -- it is art poorly done.
You’ve perfectly articulated the problem with this show. Thank you thank you…may my multiple forwards with the subject line THIS! garner many subscribers.
That would be great!! I hope it does.
Yes! I think my biggest issue with the show is that it doesn't ring true psychologically. It presents these women in their 50s still living as if they were in their 30s, drinking and partying their way through menopause. In reality the people who tend to do worst in midlife (get depressed, sick, struggle the most with menopause) are the ones doing exactly this - trying to cling on to the values of youth with a white-knuckle grip rather than recognising that the second half of life requires a different road-map and value system, one which perhaps focuses more on the inner life and self-development. The show doesn't ring true of the 50-something women in my world and it's such a missed opportunity to explore this developmental stage of womanhood in a more thoughtful, meaningful and nuanced way...
Oh, Laurie, this line: "but the character is written as a bar code of identity-marker clichés." 👏👏👏
Every press release I receive from every publisher on the planet extolls the book with a bar code of identity marker cliches instead of offering an example of its beauty or intelligence. That's where we are. The culture of marketing. I'm not buying.
As a recovering marketer, I am with you in despising that aspect of life these days. Humans insist on squeezing the life out of most everything in search of a few more piles of coin. I'm also tired of money leading the campaign for anything.
Personally, I would desperately like to be tired of money . . . but, you know, writing you get bupkis.
Yes.
(I'm a recovering big law firm attorney- same toxins to detox as recovering marketers, IMHO.)
No doubt! Welcome to the escape from american capitalism.
This piece was GOLD and nailed it ! The writing was horrible and it all felt flat and fake and empty not to mention the entitlement. As a 65 yo professional woman I don’t know anyone who depicts those “characters “. It was embarrassing to watch.
Agree.
"No one can love a thing that begs for your approval. A thing that begs for your approval is sad and boring. (I know this for a fact, having done it enough times in my life.)" A dazzling, brilliant assessment! Thank you so much for this gorgeous critique.
Thank you for reading and thinking/feeling along with the piece. xxL
Another fabulous essay, and I love how the thinking moves through its process. That kind of essay is always so satisfying a journey. And to have generosity and passions and anger move through it as well--I print out those of your essays and have a growing notebook of them now. So glad to have been alive (and still am) through so many feminist decades and smart feminisms. Bows of gratitude.
If you come to my house, I will give you a cappuccino and a muffin. ❤️
Laurie Stone, not sure if you will read this, but it's now a day or two after YOU have followed ME, if I understand correctly. Is there a way for me to send you a pm or something like it? --- Theresa (All other readers, please ignore this message, it's for Laurie in particular.)
You can write to me: lauriestone@substack.com
One of the best parts about the original series is how well the writers put flesh on the bones of each character. Were they archetypical depictions of women in their mid-30s? Sure. They were all also highly imperfect people, but imperfect in a way that was relatable and (mostly) enjoyable to watch. I keep waiting for the plot device that explains how each of the SATC main characters aged into their current versions, because there’s just no internal logic that makes sense of who they’ve become. Maybe we need a Black Mirror cross-over? We’ll find out that after the last movie, their brains were cryogenically frozen in boxes stored in the basement of Barney’s with only certain stimuli available to them.
I like it. xxL
Ohhhh I needed that belly laugh! Wish you and Laurie Stone were writing AJLT!
I promise you, we never would have done them so dirty!
Oh, Laurie, you take my breath away. Who writes like that? Apparently you. (Sigh.) As a former Sex in the City addict whose parasocial intimacy with four characters I hated and loved, yes, like watching a car accident unable to look away, I confess I just can't get enough. Go ahead SJP, jut keep aging. Why not you, too? All the shoes in the world can't stop it. I have dream, Laurie, because hubris is my middle name: would you be willing to read the manuscript for my debut memoir and write one sentence about it? Just one sentence. Because one sentence from you is pure gold. With awe, Margaret Mandell
Ah, so kind. I’m slammed right now with deadlines and preparing for an upcoming Zoom conversation on memoir and so will have to decline.
Understood and thank you kindly for taking time to reply! Best, Margaret
Last night I sat through Season 3 of SATC with my 20-year-old daughter, who recently discovered the show. I was cringing through the gender episode (Miranda struggling not to be "the man" in the relationship, Charlotte cross dressing to excite her new boyfriend, Carrie rejecting a world where she gets to casually kiss Alanis Morrisette) when my daughter piped up, "This is so fucking REFRESHING." I guess because everything felt weird and chaotic and messy in ways television is no longer allowed to be. (Don't get me wrong - my kids will dress as/act like/kiss anyone who strikes their fancy without a moment's hesitation, and without turning it into a plot point.) Meanwhile I'm toothpicking my eyes open to get through the latest season, which is similarly irrelevant to my own middle aged life, but which lacks the chaos and mess that could make it watchable. Transparent, on the other hand - god I miss that show.
Wonderful and thoughtful evocation of how life works and how representations are scared of how life works. xxL
Laurie Stone even your replies are truth-packed!
Oh, bravo! 👏 I have watched season one and the first few episodes of season two and then have trailed off since I’ve been traveling. I can’t say it’s been a hate-watch but it’s certainly had more cringey moments than I care to enumerate. This is the best analysis I have read of it to date.
Just these lines alone: "It thinks women become stupider, more fearful, and more emotionally enfeebled as they get older. They need to be helped across the street of life." What a magnificent writer you are, Laurie Stone.
Oh, darling, so glad you think so. xxL
I was so excited when it started. After enjoying the SATC years, I was anxious about how the writers would handle the women growing older. After getting through a couple episodes, I have to agree it's just not watchable for me. Laurie, spot on critique!