So much delight here. Zsa Zsa Gabor, Noah’s ark, the promise inviting a change of heart, Richard’s closing words, which remind me of “Dover Beach.” Richard’s words dance beautifully with yours, Laurie. Your choice to marry at this stage of life suggests another poem. If you can’t make your time stand still, make it run.
I love this. Why? I don’t really know. I who have been married to the same man for 60 years. Perhaps it is the photo that sealed it for me. I look at the two of you and you are laughing . My hubby and I have not always been happy. We have been, happy, unhappy, happy, unhappy, etc. Thanks to Richard I now know to call the transitions “tsunami”. After hard moves, job change, cancer and much worse there was pain, unhappiness, yes anger, and then a tsunami. And after each tsunami there was laughter - we could laugh together again. At 80, we laugh more now and cheese sandwiches taste twice as good.
Congratulations! Loved reading this in the Times and here.
I, too, was ambivalent about marriage and even less enthused about weddings until… five years ago, after being together for 22 years, my partner and I got married at city hall in NYC. It was perfect. Three weeks later we began living together under the same roof for the most extended period ever in our relationship: Covid (we’d been me in NYC/he in DC for years). It’s all been, luckily, blessedly, great.
The next ZOOM conversation is on TAKING RISKS in writing and in the way, perhaps, you live. Maybe now, more than ever, is the time to take risks and think about what risk might mean to you. Richard and I are hosting an interactive conversation on SATURDAY, JANUARY 25 from 3 to 4 EST. To RSVP and more info about joining, please email me at: lauriestone@substack.com
My friend Anna Mahoney raves about your meetings and advice, Laurie (and Richard), so I was intrigued to read this. I'm always happy about marriage success. Well, 'relationship success' after not finding it myself. I knew my second marriage was doomed but I didn't know why, and it has taken me fifteen more years to realise it had something to do with intellectual balance. I believe, after a time that is what makes the difference. On Jan 11, I launched the serialisation of my novel The Wrong Man on Substack. I wonder now if Susannah's story reflects that insight. Thanks for making me think about it!
This is lovely, and similar to what happened to me, in a sense, when I married my husband almost 42 years ago. We'd been friends, and then lovers living together when we decided to get married. It was a small ceremony--30 guests or so. After our honeymoon when we returned to the apartment we'd been living in for over a year, returned to our bed where we'd made love numerous times, I realized I had changed. I was not the same woman. I was a married woman, my relationship to my lover was sweeter somehow, deeper, kinder--it mattered to me even more than it had before as if now we were on hallowed ground. My husband had insisted--no spirituality, no God talk in our vows, but the priest friend who married us slipped in a prayer and I'm glad he did. My daughter recently married in a civil ceremony at the court house this past November. They had lived together for four years. I asked her the next day did she feel different now that she was married? She paused then said, yes, she did, but couldn't quite put a finger on it. But you have, in a way, put a finger on that feeling of being kinder to one another. Like recognizing you have done something to commemorate the thing you cherish, something very dear.
Loved loved loved your marriage story. I am on my 4th marriage (another story) and I also got married again at 76 because we wanted to visit my son, wife and two small boys, and the boys asked their dad if Grandma and Joe were married? So believe it or not, we got married before we visited them, because my CHILDREN wanted us to get married. Actually, it's worked out pretty well.
The same thing happened to my husband and I when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It put our struggles in perspective and in spite of them, we realized what we have is sweet. I am thinking that a bubble of sweetness is what a mature relationship looks like. Like champagne.
Love stories are the best! The reason we married another time after the first marriage adventure was not all the storybooks promised was this. We ran out of reasons in the ongoing Why not? discussions. Then we discovered for financial and medical care reasons, we were better off with a marriage license than a friendship ring.
Lovely piece, Laurie. I've been living with my partner for over 20. years, and, although we love each other, I know the feelings about not wanting to marry that you describe. I still have them, and find the lack of ritual ties gives me a sense of strength, but I did enjoy reading about your pleasure in legal and ritual coupledom.
No pleasure in the legal and ritual, not at all, just enjoying the bond with R and the benefits of travel, money, and health arrangements I will have. Does it feel different? As R said, something a bit sweeter. xxL
So much delight here. Zsa Zsa Gabor, Noah’s ark, the promise inviting a change of heart, Richard’s closing words, which remind me of “Dover Beach.” Richard’s words dance beautifully with yours, Laurie. Your choice to marry at this stage of life suggests another poem. If you can’t make your time stand still, make it run.
What a great line to quote!! Thanks, dear Rona.
I love this. Why? I don’t really know. I who have been married to the same man for 60 years. Perhaps it is the photo that sealed it for me. I look at the two of you and you are laughing . My hubby and I have not always been happy. We have been, happy, unhappy, happy, unhappy, etc. Thanks to Richard I now know to call the transitions “tsunami”. After hard moves, job change, cancer and much worse there was pain, unhappiness, yes anger, and then a tsunami. And after each tsunami there was laughter - we could laugh together again. At 80, we laugh more now and cheese sandwiches taste twice as good.
Congratulations! Loved reading this in the Times and here.
I, too, was ambivalent about marriage and even less enthused about weddings until… five years ago, after being together for 22 years, my partner and I got married at city hall in NYC. It was perfect. Three weeks later we began living together under the same roof for the most extended period ever in our relationship: Covid (we’d been me in NYC/he in DC for years). It’s all been, luckily, blessedly, great.
Cheers! And: cake!
This is just beautiful. Richard's words at the end made me cry! Thank you for being so generous with your talent, with the contents of your hearts.
Enjoyed your piece about them, Tammy.
Thanks, Sari! Means a lot coming from you ...
<3
And thanks for your tender piece and kind attention to us.
The next ZOOM conversation is on TAKING RISKS in writing and in the way, perhaps, you live. Maybe now, more than ever, is the time to take risks and think about what risk might mean to you. Richard and I are hosting an interactive conversation on SATURDAY, JANUARY 25 from 3 to 4 EST. To RSVP and more info about joining, please email me at: lauriestone@substack.com
My friend Anna Mahoney raves about your meetings and advice, Laurie (and Richard), so I was intrigued to read this. I'm always happy about marriage success. Well, 'relationship success' after not finding it myself. I knew my second marriage was doomed but I didn't know why, and it has taken me fifteen more years to realise it had something to do with intellectual balance. I believe, after a time that is what makes the difference. On Jan 11, I launched the serialisation of my novel The Wrong Man on Substack. I wonder now if Susannah's story reflects that insight. Thanks for making me think about it!
This is lovely, and similar to what happened to me, in a sense, when I married my husband almost 42 years ago. We'd been friends, and then lovers living together when we decided to get married. It was a small ceremony--30 guests or so. After our honeymoon when we returned to the apartment we'd been living in for over a year, returned to our bed where we'd made love numerous times, I realized I had changed. I was not the same woman. I was a married woman, my relationship to my lover was sweeter somehow, deeper, kinder--it mattered to me even more than it had before as if now we were on hallowed ground. My husband had insisted--no spirituality, no God talk in our vows, but the priest friend who married us slipped in a prayer and I'm glad he did. My daughter recently married in a civil ceremony at the court house this past November. They had lived together for four years. I asked her the next day did she feel different now that she was married? She paused then said, yes, she did, but couldn't quite put a finger on it. But you have, in a way, put a finger on that feeling of being kinder to one another. Like recognizing you have done something to commemorate the thing you cherish, something very dear.
Loved loved loved your marriage story. I am on my 4th marriage (another story) and I also got married again at 76 because we wanted to visit my son, wife and two small boys, and the boys asked their dad if Grandma and Joe were married? So believe it or not, we got married before we visited them, because my CHILDREN wanted us to get married. Actually, it's worked out pretty well.
A "tsunami of tenderness" at the end...lovely
Beautiful Laurie!
Thanks, love. xxL
Richard's quote is sooo lovely. congratulations! this is a wonderful piece about stepping into the unknown. thank you!
The same thing happened to my husband and I when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It put our struggles in perspective and in spite of them, we realized what we have is sweet. I am thinking that a bubble of sweetness is what a mature relationship looks like. Like champagne.
I'm happy for you! R and I are the last people anyone would call "mature." xxL
lol. I think our kids would still call us “extra” but mortality has a way of increasing appreciation of small things.
Truly delicious from a 66 yo gal who never married. So many moments of delight. It’s nice to know your lid found your pot!☺️
Love stories are the best! The reason we married another time after the first marriage adventure was not all the storybooks promised was this. We ran out of reasons in the ongoing Why not? discussions. Then we discovered for financial and medical care reasons, we were better off with a marriage license than a friendship ring.
Lovely piece, Laurie. I've been living with my partner for over 20. years, and, although we love each other, I know the feelings about not wanting to marry that you describe. I still have them, and find the lack of ritual ties gives me a sense of strength, but I did enjoy reading about your pleasure in legal and ritual coupledom.
No pleasure in the legal and ritual, not at all, just enjoying the bond with R and the benefits of travel, money, and health arrangements I will have. Does it feel different? As R said, something a bit sweeter. xxL
I loved your book and I Iove this. A hearty mazel tov to you both and a k'innah h'ora that it should happen to me one day.
I hope so!
Love your essay, Laurie. And I love Richard's words to his sister.
Thanks, dear Rickey.