It'a always a pleasure to be part of the @Oldster world and especially now, as we seek community more than ever. You are invited to the next Zoom conversation on writing craft, where you can ask questions about your own writing projects, on Saturday, November 23 from 3 to 4 EST. To RSVP, please write to me at lauriestone@substack.com
Thank you, Laurie. "Your intelligence carries all your experience.” This particularly resonates with me. Our intelligence is fed and watered by experience and becomes a greater and better thing as the years go on. On condescension, a question I intensely dislike is "What was it like in your day?" My reply is usually "Considering I'm still seeing daylight, what part of my day do you mean?" Although ironically my eyesight is failing quite rapidly. I'm dictating most of this. This is something I am having difficulty accepting. I'm sure there are others who could identify with that.
Hi Laurie, lovely post. I am in my late 60's and a new writer with a handful of publications that I'm proud of after toiling away for decades in two serious careers. I recently returned from a writing residency where one week involved a fun, boisterous group of writers (they all knew each other and the ages ranged from late 20's to mid-40's) who took pains to include and encourage me. The second week was shared with a mid-30's woman who studiously avoided me, even though we lived in rooms a few feet away from each other. She had no interest in what I was doing, who I was, what I was saying or why I was there, despite my expressing interest in her life and writing. Our conversations were short and it was clear she thought I had nothing of any significance to say-- her glazed-over look said it all. Since I have honed my social graces over a lifetime, I was utterly confused by her reaction to me until it dawned on me fairly late in the week that she considered me to be "too old" to bother with. It was a startling realization since I had only ever been in the company of people who knew who I was and what I had accomplished. To be reduced to a person without any status and to whom it was permissible to be so dismissive was jarring. I'm sure this happens a lot in "real life" but I suppose I've mostly insulated myself from it since I am rarely in the company of younger strangers. Perhaps it will change as more and more "oldsters" make their way into the public's consciousness (loving all the beautiful graying older actresses we are seeing these days). But I'm betting that there's never going to be a cure for rudeness and a lack of generosity and interest for anyone other than ourselves and our small group of cohorts, whatever the age.
Great comment. Many thanks for this story and your reactions to your realization. Something like that happened to me in Iceland once, and I was like really you little shits, but to myself, and then I walked into the night because it was daylight there at one in the morning. xxL
I think people like that fear aging so much that for some reason they think it's contagious. I always think, just you wait. If you are lucky you will live this long.....
as Louise Bourgeois depicts & barren like her topiary.
Time to focus more on art now & deeper understanding of each other in order to get through this dystopian.
Really appreciated this post for your different train of thoughts thinking back-word & in present times. You have such an interesting & artistic perspective.
Thanks, dear Anne, I think everything you say here is important and matches my day to day questions about how to live and keep making art. In my writing, I am staying apart from blame, theories, and noise. xxL
I've occasionally wanted to ask a hypothetical young adult who condescends, as if I'm not smart because they think I'm old - "do you think you're getting smarter as you get older? Yes, I think I am too. At what age do you think you will start getting stupider?"
Sweating. My husband 80 . I ,73 .Just came into our home after fast paced tennis singles and Richard. We are , for the most part not senile. A fine Thursday it be .
This week I have been examining how I can survive the next four years. My conclusion was, I lived through 4 years of high school, I can do this too. Just return to that 4 year bubble of isolation.
Yes for one thing the Senate and House are now Republican controlled. Musk has succeeded in buying the keys to the kingdom but Trump hasn't realized it yet.
Thank you for this, Laurie. I just reached 79 and have been noticing times when I'm tolerated rather than fully engaged with. In some exercise classes, I wonder why I no longer get corrections. I always wanted the power to be invisible, but not like this.
"Wanting more than being wanted". I walked that path many times when I was younger. It was never very satisfying, more a "Oh, that's all it was?" followed by a shrug. I need to be wanted in return... not necessarily with love. Lust does a good job too!
"There is something to be said for wanting someone more than they want you. The wanting makes you less critical and more loving in a way that shows you rooms you didn’t know were in your house." Love this. Now I'm wondering what other unchartered rooms exist in my house...
It'a always a pleasure to be part of the @Oldster world and especially now, as we seek community more than ever. You are invited to the next Zoom conversation on writing craft, where you can ask questions about your own writing projects, on Saturday, November 23 from 3 to 4 EST. To RSVP, please write to me at lauriestone@substack.com
Thank you, Laurie. "Your intelligence carries all your experience.” This particularly resonates with me. Our intelligence is fed and watered by experience and becomes a greater and better thing as the years go on. On condescension, a question I intensely dislike is "What was it like in your day?" My reply is usually "Considering I'm still seeing daylight, what part of my day do you mean?" Although ironically my eyesight is failing quite rapidly. I'm dictating most of this. This is something I am having difficulty accepting. I'm sure there are others who could identify with that.
I love your answer. xxL
Hi Laurie, lovely post. I am in my late 60's and a new writer with a handful of publications that I'm proud of after toiling away for decades in two serious careers. I recently returned from a writing residency where one week involved a fun, boisterous group of writers (they all knew each other and the ages ranged from late 20's to mid-40's) who took pains to include and encourage me. The second week was shared with a mid-30's woman who studiously avoided me, even though we lived in rooms a few feet away from each other. She had no interest in what I was doing, who I was, what I was saying or why I was there, despite my expressing interest in her life and writing. Our conversations were short and it was clear she thought I had nothing of any significance to say-- her glazed-over look said it all. Since I have honed my social graces over a lifetime, I was utterly confused by her reaction to me until it dawned on me fairly late in the week that she considered me to be "too old" to bother with. It was a startling realization since I had only ever been in the company of people who knew who I was and what I had accomplished. To be reduced to a person without any status and to whom it was permissible to be so dismissive was jarring. I'm sure this happens a lot in "real life" but I suppose I've mostly insulated myself from it since I am rarely in the company of younger strangers. Perhaps it will change as more and more "oldsters" make their way into the public's consciousness (loving all the beautiful graying older actresses we are seeing these days). But I'm betting that there's never going to be a cure for rudeness and a lack of generosity and interest for anyone other than ourselves and our small group of cohorts, whatever the age.
Great comment. Many thanks for this story and your reactions to your realization. Something like that happened to me in Iceland once, and I was like really you little shits, but to myself, and then I walked into the night because it was daylight there at one in the morning. xxL
I think people like that fear aging so much that for some reason they think it's contagious. I always think, just you wait. If you are lucky you will live this long.....
Thank you for this. As always, it nourishes me.
Happy to know this. xxL
Thank you. Excellent piece
Am feeling hysterical after this election
as Louise Bourgeois depicts & barren like her topiary.
Time to focus more on art now & deeper understanding of each other in order to get through this dystopian.
Really appreciated this post for your different train of thoughts thinking back-word & in present times. You have such an interesting & artistic perspective.
Thanks, dear Anne, I think everything you say here is important and matches my day to day questions about how to live and keep making art. In my writing, I am staying apart from blame, theories, and noise. xxL
I've occasionally wanted to ask a hypothetical young adult who condescends, as if I'm not smart because they think I'm old - "do you think you're getting smarter as you get older? Yes, I think I am too. At what age do you think you will start getting stupider?"
I love that.
I wasn't aware of how much I needed to read this today, until I did. Thanks, Laurie.
❤️
Sweating. My husband 80 . I ,73 .Just came into our home after fast paced tennis singles and Richard. We are , for the most part not senile. A fine Thursday it be .
Yes! xxL
This week I have been examining how I can survive the next four years. My conclusion was, I lived through 4 years of high school, I can do this too. Just return to that 4 year bubble of isolation.
This feels different to me than 2016, and I will be writing about it further here and on my stack.
Yes for one thing the Senate and House are now Republican controlled. Musk has succeeded in buying the keys to the kingdom but Trump hasn't realized it yet.
Laurie Stone is always wonderful. I come away from her essays enlightened.
I am so happy the work continues to engage you. I feel I've found a companionate home away from home with Sari and her readers.
Thank you for this, Laurie. I just reached 79 and have been noticing times when I'm tolerated rather than fully engaged with. In some exercise classes, I wonder why I no longer get corrections. I always wanted the power to be invisible, but not like this.
"Wanting more than being wanted". I walked that path many times when I was younger. It was never very satisfying, more a "Oh, that's all it was?" followed by a shrug. I need to be wanted in return... not necessarily with love. Lust does a good job too!
That was great! Loved “are you insane.”
I sometimes use “in other news”
"There is something to be said for wanting someone more than they want you. The wanting makes you less critical and more loving in a way that shows you rooms you didn’t know were in your house." Love this. Now I'm wondering what other unchartered rooms exist in my house...
Indeed, go look for them. I’m sure you’ll find a portal to John Malkovich.
The question arises—“what does Richard do all day?” Just askin’🤷🏽
Mahjong 🀄️
Nailed it.
Sardonic ?! Or truth ?
Come on.
I was glad to read this . Not glad for your suffering . But glad to read your writing , your story . Thanks for writing ,
thank you