81 Comments

I love both your Richard AND Jeremy Allen White. I hate the word ladies, but I may hate the word "guys" even more. Twenty-two year old server and two women in their seventies: "What can I get you guys?" My friend Martha says, "there are no guys at this table." Server looks startled. Why does no one say folks, or people? Why is everything gendered in an icky or inappropriate way? Thanks for your wonderful written offerings that brighten my day.

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I'm so pleased you enjoy the column. It's exciting being part of Sari's world.

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Ah, the slang of it all. So true and annoying. When did I start to be so annoyed? Hah! An essay in the makes for sure. In the South, we say y’all instead of ladies and guys, clumping everyone together as if we’re unisex.

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Yes! Y'all is a wonderful solution. Before I retired, I taught at university. My teaching assistant, a feminist from Texas, taught the upstate New York students about "y'all." we loved hearing the Chinese students use it!!

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Oh, that made me smile! Thanks!

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You know in the Midwest we say guys. It is multi gender. It encompasses every possible iteration. But I do find ladies annoying. I have never inspired to be a lady.

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I know. Most everybody says that, not just in the Midwest. Some of us have never aspired to be ladies, girls, OR guys. I know the battle is lost. And yet I rail.

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“She thought it generated an atmosphere of warmth. I thought about how the world works on one fake understanding after the next…”

Well said. Feeling this so much right now.

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This!

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This is a wonderful post. The writing is so free. Thank you.

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"I wasn't patient." Laurie Stone all over and how marvelous. xo

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Thanks, sweetheart!

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I am a lesbian and I am here to tell you that Jeremy Allen White is hot, hot hot in that ad. He has certainly upped his weightlifting since his Shameless days. The Bear is quite good.

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But wait. The byline is Sari Botton and then at the bottom it's Laurie Stone. I was confused when I started to read because I thought Laurie Stone was the one with a British husband named Richard.

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Sometimes Richard moves in mysterious ways.

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😂

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Sorry—I forgot to change the byline to Laurie's name. I've just fixed it.

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Thank you for pointing out that women (who like men) find the male body lasciviously beautiful. This is the best-kept secret of millennia.

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Gloriously honest essay in its observations and its protestations.

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Thanks so much for being a reader of the column. xxL

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Thanks for sharing Laurie Stone’s piece. Now I’m looking at Everything is Personal!

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Nice! I love when Oldster gets people to buy 📚.

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Of course!

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Thanks so much! Looking forward to having you as a reader on the stack as well.

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I was fascinated to read your account of Hudson in your opening paragraphs. My son lives above the stores across from Old Hudson and I feft an immediate connection. Namaste

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Namaste! We sit on the green bench right across from his windows!

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It is truly a small little world we live in. My son Jon is the resident tarot reader at The Maker.

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How fab! I hope our paths will cross. They probably will.

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I enjoyed your home movie with its streets bare of snow and dots of green foliage. It’s minus 26 degrees F in my corner of the world today with a wind chill of minus 49 degrees. A good day to stay home, curl up and read Substack.

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Glad the video was fun. I made one in the car. The prompt was what would Werner Herzog say to Arnold Schwarzenegger? You had to speak in two different German accents that are indistinguishable from each other. The camera faces the road. Maybe I’ll post it on my next stack entry.

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Oh, please do!

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Send me your email address to lauriestone@substack.com. I think I can email it to you.

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Lovely!

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It's interesting how people in real life may hate you, but we love you. The Emperor is naked, y'all!

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The narrator I have invented has to seduce the reader or it’s game over. The real human has much less restraint. Thank you for loving one of us.

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I think you are my sister from another mother. You write like me (to put it grammatically, you write like I do .) Trust me, that’s a compliment. My wife says I have a strong ego. But for God sake, it’s not. martial. It’s Marshall. Or marshal. How the hell would I know? I’m getting old and I am resentful.

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You’re right. I thought it looked wrong, will correct.

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The proper response is to tell me to fuck off with the grammar Nazism

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I like grammar, sorry.

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I love grammar. And like my mother, I have been called a grammar Nazi all my life, so I try to be gentle with people.

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Here I thought I was simply grouchy not taking pleasure in my female gaze on the Bear or my sharp tongue to unsuspecting staff at medical appointment. I love getting older because I'm in such good company. Thanks for the stroll around Warren Street.

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No pleasure in looking at Jeremy in underpants? I am saying I find great pleasure, I hope that was clear.

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“...where we write in our notebooks and I resent the cost of the cheese.” Great juxtaposition. Personal aside: I’ve given up telling waitstaff not to call me “dear” because I could not silence the inner voice of their mothers (who also liked “ladies”). You can fight mom. You just can’t expect to win.

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I never expect to win. I expect to become objectionable, and then I'm sad about it. xxL

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Understand. I became pretty objectionable myself when I chastised a medical resident for introducing herself to me by her first name, letting the side down. Would a male resident do that?

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That’s actually cool way to be I find & anyone else who likes it great!

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I have given a few recent lessons on other platforms who dm me with honey or dear. Once they apologize which one did I talk to them tiny because although I set a boundary with a complete stranger I remember the first way the made me feel.

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It’s the sweet little things that matter most! Great read! Peace

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