Glad you're recovered! Am I the only one who recognizes the enormous untapped potential of medical research for older women? We're an underserved and overlooked population in general, but our unexplored medical experiences and needs in particular seem like they could yield a ton of new breakthroughs. Among my clients in the biotech world I'm starting to hear some rumblings, but jeez... let's get this party started already!
I had mono as a teenager. I also had a boyfriend that my mom didn't like and those two facts collided when I had been sick and was finally diagnosed with mono. When the doctor said I had mono, my mom looked shocked and asked the doctor "should I tell the boys parents?" The doctor looked at her astonished and said, "why? she's not pregnant, she just has mono."
Needless to say, my mom and I didn't see eye to eye on much, especially my boyfriend, and I felt vindicated when my doctor appeared to admonish her for overreacting which she did quite frequently about most everything related to me in my teenage years. I also wasn't the model teenager either, but that is a story for another day. lol
Advocating for our health and knowing our bodies. Thank you for reminding me that we must be vigilant. Revisiting Tracy's story and how devastating cancer of any kind can be, and how lucky any one is to get through and be an advocate for others. Be as well as can be and carry on.
i'm so sorry you went through that. i remember your tweets, and feeling horrible for you. but wow. so glad it wasn't cancer! (just devastated for tracy and her family.)
I got mono for a SECOND time at 57! Luckily I had a reasonable doctor who suspected it early on instead of the alarmist you had. The reason my doctor suspected it is because she had recently had ANOTHER "mature woman" contract mono so she recognized the signs. What I didn't know was that there are two kinds of viruses that cause mono. When I was 17, I got Epstein-Barr. A few years ago it was CMV. Many doctors don't think of this because CMV is lesser known. But also similar to you, I have NO idea how I got it. And my boyfriend at the time never contracted it. The mysteries of mono! I'm glad you're ok. And sorry your friend wasn't.
OMG, so sad you had to go through that, Sari! I observed a taste of that when my daughter had mono/hepatitis during one of her university years. She ultimately rallied after a few months, but it cost her a semester. It's terrible, but yet, as you later realized, not lethal like poor Tracy Kennard. So true that everything's relative!
I was relieved to read you didn't have cancer after all, and that that fact eventually eased your mono woes. But the news of your friend's early death is surely the saddest, most sobering part of your essay. I imagine you were pissed at the doctor that jumped to such an alarming conclusion, and I hope you called him on it in a big way! t blows my mind that doctors react to symptoms so alarmingly and conclusively without having all the evidence, but many do. I had a similar thing happen to me, and I know others who've experienced the same with scans, mammograms etc. I recently read about the oldest woman in the US dying, and she'd claimed that one of her secrets to longevity was not going to the doctor. In the context of your story and others, it sounds like the right way to live. The false alarms can be like poison to the body. And it sounds like, in your case, the reversal in news was a kind of elixir and psychic cure. Glad you're done with mono--enjoy!
Thanks, Katie. Insurance companies, and big corporations that buy and consolidate practices to make them profit machines, have made it difficult for doctors and others in health care to be regularly thorough and thoughtful. It's criminal.
I hear you. Did your doc ever take responsibility and apologize for his (literally) sickening alarm and misdiagnosis? It's no wonder doctors are notorious for being the worst patients--they know all too well how the sausage is made. Thanks for bringing awareness to all this.
What the actual @#$%!!!! Thank you for making us aware of this yucky virus we thought we were all done with decades ago! I remember when getting mono was all the rage in high school and college...a badge of honor, since it indicated that you were, indeed, making out with someone. I am so glad you are on the mend.
Well, I *was* making out with someone (my husband) but he was pushing 60. Lol. But, yes, important to know that Epstein-Barr and mono are still threats to keep an eye on.
Sari, I'm so sorry to hear you were so sick for so long, though glad to know you're better now. I'm also sorry to hear about your friend Tracy.
Like you, I found the lockdown times good for my immune system, ultimately. Not a single germ invaded for over two years. But then when it came, it came with a vengeance. I got Covid finally (a fairly mild case), but with my immune system taxed by that I was left open to developing a staph infection, and then on the tail-end of the staph infection I got my first-ever cold sore, which was huge and awful looking and took weeks to heal despite all the heavy-duty meds. Weeks when I was finally starting a new job, which made meeting all my new co-workers painfully awkward. Everyone being so wary of infections of all sorts these days. Both the staph and the cold sore showed up on my face (as they tend to) and so I spent something like 2.5 months with unsightly sores on my face.
It wasn't cancer, for sure, and I'm better now, but the whole experience was humbling, to say the least. Good health is a resource that I have largely taken for granted up to this point. I don't do that now.
Thanks for this article... I am facing 60 this year and still struggling with the idea of myself as not you g anymore. But your article reminded me of all the friends I’ve lost who never made it this far... nothing like that existential dope slap to get one’s perspective on straight! Glad you are feeling better.
Oh, Lord! You are so on the money. My poor wife got mono at 60, and went through the same "Oh, it can't be dodge" from the docs. I feel for you, and particularly for poor Tracy. A great, if painful read.
I keep hearing more and more stories of people—women especially—contracting mono later in life. Time for the medical establishment to pay attention. (They won't.) Thank you.
Jan 9, 2023·edited Jan 9, 2023Liked by Sari Botton
Sari, this was a great article, something people need to read. Learning that mono can strike beyond young ages was an eye-opener for me and I'm sure many people will now be informed about this.
I am so impressed that you were a so much better diagnostician than the first few doctors you saw, but your experience with apparently experienced medical practitioners was so horrible. It reminded of reading Jerome Groopman's "How Doctors Think." He opens with the story of a young woman with symptoms that I recognized pretty quickly as celiac disease, especially after she kept getting worse after doctors put her on a heavy pasta- and noodle-based diet as a supposed cure for all her stomach distress. It takes going to many doctors before a quite elderly Harvard medical school professor simply listened to her story and figured out what her problem was quickly.
I've had several misdiagnoses and once had doctors wanting to perform surgery on my sinuses when I finally learned I had hepatitis B. And then, 20 years later, a blood test taken by a family doctor who doubted this old diagnosis showed that I had never had hepatitis after all! (I must have had some other kind of virus and just got better on my own after a month.)
You are a very smart, highly educated patient, but I know that people who have little education are often misdiagnosed and suffer badly because they don't know how to challenge or ignore poorly informed physicians with poor diagnostic skills.
Thanks, Richard. I'm both sad and glad to know you can relate. Increasingly, capitalism corrupts medicine, making it so that it costs more and more for less thoughtful treatment. Deeply ingrained sexism is another unfortunate factor. Some doctors respond well to patients who self-advocate, but others do not welcome it, in some cases having strong biases against those patients who ask questions and try to be engaged in decisions about our treatment.
Glad you're recovered! Am I the only one who recognizes the enormous untapped potential of medical research for older women? We're an underserved and overlooked population in general, but our unexplored medical experiences and needs in particular seem like they could yield a ton of new breakthroughs. Among my clients in the biotech world I'm starting to hear some rumblings, but jeez... let's get this party started already!
Right? I guess it's not profitable in some way.
I had mono as a teenager. I also had a boyfriend that my mom didn't like and those two facts collided when I had been sick and was finally diagnosed with mono. When the doctor said I had mono, my mom looked shocked and asked the doctor "should I tell the boys parents?" The doctor looked at her astonished and said, "why? she's not pregnant, she just has mono."
Needless to say, my mom and I didn't see eye to eye on much, especially my boyfriend, and I felt vindicated when my doctor appeared to admonish her for overreacting which she did quite frequently about most everything related to me in my teenage years. I also wasn't the model teenager either, but that is a story for another day. lol
Thanks for sharing that, Gayla! Be glad you had it when you were young. Much worse when you're older!
Advocating for our health and knowing our bodies. Thank you for reminding me that we must be vigilant. Revisiting Tracy's story and how devastating cancer of any kind can be, and how lucky any one is to get through and be an advocate for others. Be as well as can be and carry on.
Yes, 100%.
i'm so sorry you went through that. i remember your tweets, and feeling horrible for you. but wow. so glad it wasn't cancer! (just devastated for tracy and her family.)
<3
So moving. And so damn funny when it came to Vitamin D! Hope you are on the mend.
Thanks, Kitty.
I got mono for a SECOND time at 57! Luckily I had a reasonable doctor who suspected it early on instead of the alarmist you had. The reason my doctor suspected it is because she had recently had ANOTHER "mature woman" contract mono so she recognized the signs. What I didn't know was that there are two kinds of viruses that cause mono. When I was 17, I got Epstein-Barr. A few years ago it was CMV. Many doctors don't think of this because CMV is lesser known. But also similar to you, I have NO idea how I got it. And my boyfriend at the time never contracted it. The mysteries of mono! I'm glad you're ok. And sorry your friend wasn't.
Interesting that you got it from CMV the second time. I was tested for that, but it was EBV. I hope I never get it again! Thank you.
OMG, so sad you had to go through that, Sari! I observed a taste of that when my daughter had mono/hepatitis during one of her university years. She ultimately rallied after a few months, but it cost her a semester. It's terrible, but yet, as you later realized, not lethal like poor Tracy Kennard. So true that everything's relative!
Thanks, Ellie. Sorry your daughter went through it, too.
I was relieved to read you didn't have cancer after all, and that that fact eventually eased your mono woes. But the news of your friend's early death is surely the saddest, most sobering part of your essay. I imagine you were pissed at the doctor that jumped to such an alarming conclusion, and I hope you called him on it in a big way! t blows my mind that doctors react to symptoms so alarmingly and conclusively without having all the evidence, but many do. I had a similar thing happen to me, and I know others who've experienced the same with scans, mammograms etc. I recently read about the oldest woman in the US dying, and she'd claimed that one of her secrets to longevity was not going to the doctor. In the context of your story and others, it sounds like the right way to live. The false alarms can be like poison to the body. And it sounds like, in your case, the reversal in news was a kind of elixir and psychic cure. Glad you're done with mono--enjoy!
Thanks, Katie. Insurance companies, and big corporations that buy and consolidate practices to make them profit machines, have made it difficult for doctors and others in health care to be regularly thorough and thoughtful. It's criminal.
I hear you. Did your doc ever take responsibility and apologize for his (literally) sickening alarm and misdiagnosis? It's no wonder doctors are notorious for being the worst patients--they know all too well how the sausage is made. Thanks for bringing awareness to all this.
The ENT was a real jerk, and I fought the $269 of his bill that I was responsible for, but in the end, had to pay it. I'll never go to him again.
Wonderfully written article. Questions-- did your husband ever get it? Does he have the Epstein Barr virus? Brava for you for self advocating!
He didn't get it. The theory is that, like most adults, he developed immunity to Epstein-Barr when exposed to it in his youth.
Thanks for clarifying!
What the actual @#$%!!!! Thank you for making us aware of this yucky virus we thought we were all done with decades ago! I remember when getting mono was all the rage in high school and college...a badge of honor, since it indicated that you were, indeed, making out with someone. I am so glad you are on the mend.
Well, I *was* making out with someone (my husband) but he was pushing 60. Lol. But, yes, important to know that Epstein-Barr and mono are still threats to keep an eye on.
Sari, I'm so sorry to hear you were so sick for so long, though glad to know you're better now. I'm also sorry to hear about your friend Tracy.
Like you, I found the lockdown times good for my immune system, ultimately. Not a single germ invaded for over two years. But then when it came, it came with a vengeance. I got Covid finally (a fairly mild case), but with my immune system taxed by that I was left open to developing a staph infection, and then on the tail-end of the staph infection I got my first-ever cold sore, which was huge and awful looking and took weeks to heal despite all the heavy-duty meds. Weeks when I was finally starting a new job, which made meeting all my new co-workers painfully awkward. Everyone being so wary of infections of all sorts these days. Both the staph and the cold sore showed up on my face (as they tend to) and so I spent something like 2.5 months with unsightly sores on my face.
It wasn't cancer, for sure, and I'm better now, but the whole experience was humbling, to say the least. Good health is a resource that I have largely taken for granted up to this point. I don't do that now.
Thanks, Asha. And for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had that experience!
Thanks for this article... I am facing 60 this year and still struggling with the idea of myself as not you g anymore. But your article reminded me of all the friends I’ve lost who never made it this far... nothing like that existential dope slap to get one’s perspective on straight! Glad you are feeling better.
Thank you!
Oh, Lord! You are so on the money. My poor wife got mono at 60, and went through the same "Oh, it can't be dodge" from the docs. I feel for you, and particularly for poor Tracy. A great, if painful read.
I keep hearing more and more stories of people—women especially—contracting mono later in life. Time for the medical establishment to pay attention. (They won't.) Thank you.
Sari, this was a great article, something people need to read. Learning that mono can strike beyond young ages was an eye-opener for me and I'm sure many people will now be informed about this.
I am so impressed that you were a so much better diagnostician than the first few doctors you saw, but your experience with apparently experienced medical practitioners was so horrible. It reminded of reading Jerome Groopman's "How Doctors Think." He opens with the story of a young woman with symptoms that I recognized pretty quickly as celiac disease, especially after she kept getting worse after doctors put her on a heavy pasta- and noodle-based diet as a supposed cure for all her stomach distress. It takes going to many doctors before a quite elderly Harvard medical school professor simply listened to her story and figured out what her problem was quickly.
I've had several misdiagnoses and once had doctors wanting to perform surgery on my sinuses when I finally learned I had hepatitis B. And then, 20 years later, a blood test taken by a family doctor who doubted this old diagnosis showed that I had never had hepatitis after all! (I must have had some other kind of virus and just got better on my own after a month.)
You are a very smart, highly educated patient, but I know that people who have little education are often misdiagnosed and suffer badly because they don't know how to challenge or ignore poorly informed physicians with poor diagnostic skills.
Thanks, Richard. I'm both sad and glad to know you can relate. Increasingly, capitalism corrupts medicine, making it so that it costs more and more for less thoughtful treatment. Deeply ingrained sexism is another unfortunate factor. Some doctors respond well to patients who self-advocate, but others do not welcome it, in some cases having strong biases against those patients who ask questions and try to be engaged in decisions about our treatment.
I’m 55 years old tomorrow I’ve been battling mono for three weeks. I feel like I’m gonna die.
Oh, no. Feel better!
Goodness, so sorry you went through this and I regret not being aware of it at the time! So glad you have recovered!!!
Thank you, Steph! It was a hell of a ride. <3