Everyone PLEASE watch Ride or Die on Prime!! The two leads are played by Hannah Waddingham and Octavia Spencer, which is really all I need to tell you, but I'll keep going by saying it's a spy action thriller and a comedy and a beautiful meditation on friendship. Highly recommend.
Absolutely!! It is very good. I love the characters and the interaction between the female leads. Have loved Both Waddingham and Spencer for decades. Good supporting actors.
I normally don’t do fiction, as it’s just too darn fictional. But lately, to quiet modern life long enough to enjoy my pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, I’ve been gravitating toward historical fiction.
Once I become invested in a story set in the early-to-mid 20th century, I find myself getting annoyed at the female protagonists. Don’t they realize they’re being discriminated against, persecuted, deceived, held back, and belittled? So I back up even farther and start watching programs set in earlier centuries, only to discover that those women faced the same struggles and the same feeling of not being heard.
And as a Hispanic, I couldn't even get annoyed at "my people" because we were almost never there. History was happening around us, or to us, but rarely from our point of view.
So I backed up even farther and started watching stories set in the Middle Ages. Oddly enough, those bothered me less because, after all, most of the characters would be dead before forty anyway—and with bad teeth—so they never even had to confront the indignity of discovering that gray hair turns yellow unless you use purple shampoo.
It turns out every era has its own way of reminding us how hard-won progress really is.
Thanks for this (and for your substack!). As a lover of history I am continually amazed by how much we could learn from the past if we tried. Understanding where we come from really can help give us perspective on why we are where we are and what we can do about it.
I have been researching Rose Knox, who ran Knox Gelatine (yes the iconic orange box and gelatine molds) from 1908-1947 and became one of the most famous businesswomen in America in the first half of the 1900s by showing, simultaneously, business competence and embrace of domesticity. This persona won her admiration from men and women and, i think, helped set the expectations businesswomen deal with today. I would love to send you an advance copy of my biography of her which comes out Oct. 15 from Cornell - Rose Knox: How One Woman Mixed Kitchen and Boardroom to Remold an American Business. We all need to know where we came from!
I recently watched the Bollywood film Dadi Ki Shaadi (Grandmother's Wedding), a satirical portrayal of the growing emotional distance between aging parents and their married children and adult grandchildren. The film poignantly captures a familiar reality in contemporary India: once children move away and become absorbed in their own families and careers, many older parents are left feeling lonely, isolated, and searching for companionship and purpose.
Beyond family relationships, the story raises important questions about aging, gender, and social expectations. While remarriage in later life is becoming increasingly accepted for older men, it remains uncommon and often stigmatized for older women. Widowed or single older women are expected to conform to conventional ideals of aging—living quietly, suppressing personal desires, and devoting themselves to their children and grandchildren. In contrast, older men are generally afforded greater social freedom to seek companionship or remarry. The film also portrays how adult children often place greater importance on preserving family honor and their own social reputation than on their mother's emotional well-being and desire for companionship, reflecting the enduring influence of social norms and expectations.
Using humor and satire, the film challenges these deeply rooted gender norms and exposes the unequal expectations placed on older women. It invites viewers to reconsider prevailing assumptions about love, companionship, and the right to happiness in later life, highlighting the need to recognize older women as individuals with emotional needs and personal aspirations rather than solely as caregivers or family elders. In doing so, Dadi Ki Shaadi offers not only an entertaining story but also a thoughtful commentary on changing family dynamics, the challenges of aging, and the persistent gender inequalities that shape later life in contemporary India.
The film is loud, colorful, and unabashedly comical, yet beneath its humor lies an important social message. Through satire, it invites audiences to reflect on the loneliness of older adults, the unequal expectations placed on aging women, and the need to recognize that the desire for love, companionship, and dignity does not diminish with age.
Me too on ALL of this, thank you for saying it so well. and that book, wow, ditto, I am not sure I even understand what happened. I once read an article about a couple who duplicated the culture of the the 50s and 60s in their home design and style, and I thought to myself not without one phone in the house with a cord that stretched as far as possible for privacy in calls :) and no tech, no AC, allowed either. That recent smokey air: pretty much what it was like in the polluted fossil fuel- burning 70s where smoking was in every enclosed space. Looks like that's on its way back. Somehow those Brit shows capture everything so well. I can add a few more to your list after I think it over. And to anyone who thinks those good old days were good, well I was there, and they were not, for the majority of people :(
Well for good old fashioned crime in bucolic Oxford UK is Endeavour. How about a demonstration of OCD in the workplace and its origins : Professor T. We all need Doc Martin in our lives and as a doctor. And people visit its place of filming with their pets in recognition! Patience, recognition of autism in the workplace, and its predecessor the French show Astrid. and both of those have the most curious inventive deaths. For humor: Funny Woman, 60s Britain and TV. Motherland and Amandaland.. Colin from Accounts, and Fisk, omg both are literal laugh out loud. and honestly My Life is Murder, one of the best portrayals of gentle colorful snark I have ever seen in a show. That one is a comfort. And lastly of course you've seen this but shout out to Shonda Rhimes for depicting what coulda woulda shoulda been but of course was not a version of British wealth and history, Bridgerton. That should last you till you're my age. I do more than watch TV, I read too LOL. I must love stories.
My book recommendation: The Woman They Could Not Silence by Kate Moore, the harrowing but ultimately triumphant story of a woman whose husband had her committed to an insane asylum (in earlier times it was easy for husbands to do that to wives who weren’t duly submissive). It contains an image of an actual admissions log from a U.S. asylum in with reasons for admission like “novel reading” and “change of life.”
The triumphant part is when she finally gets out and becomes an activist who convinces state legislatures to change laws to require court cases and proof before women can be committed to asylums.
My binge watch recommendation: “Shrinking” on Apple TV. Stars Harrison Ford as one of three psychiatrists. His character is older and has Parkinson’s. He also mentors the two younger psychiatrists and has an active sex life. All of the characters (including a gay couple portrayed positively - another plus in my book) are memorable and the show has emotional depth as well as some hilarious moments.
Abusers may find it harder to have their spouse “committed”, but the methods just turn to pseudo psychiatry with them defaming women as ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ for not making them a sandwich or “frigid” for declining their limp sweaty D.
We watched in disgust as a President did this to E Jean Carroll. But she won anyway.
Many cases of “PTSD” are not a disorder whatsoever. They are a normal response to traumatic intentional abuse. “I threatened your life several times. Get over it. You’re the problem” is abnormal and terrifying, not the recipient of that terrorizing.
I lean to PTSR. R for response. The best medicine for that is vitamin J: JUSTICE.
That’s why we love novels and movies where justice is truly served. Best to keep this in mind when we can start repairing our democracy. What goes around comes around.
How I wish she had also won the 80+ million dollar defamation of character suit she also won against Trump. But I guess we must be grateful for small favors like a paltry 5 million dollars.
We can only hope...it wasn't until I read of E Jean's experience with Trump in a dressing room that I remembered this sort of assault had happened to me in college, but I just tossed it off a boys behaving badly in 1967. Too late to sue?
Wasn't "Zelda" Nancy Mitford's tale of F. Scott Fitzgerald having his wife committed for dubious reasons? I recall one was that she was becoming a fine writer in her own right.
Thx for adding to my watch list Sari! My wife and I are currently embroiled in the Australian super soaper “A Place to Call Home,” available on Acorn, along with many of the BBC shows you mention. It has a female protagonist (a converted Jew no less), a family carrying a heavy burden of secrets (gay son, manipulative granny, PTSD, out of wedlock births, secretly adopted babies) and grappling with the world after WW2. Every episode contains multiple cliffhangers, loathable enemies, and mortal dangers, all embodied by terrific actors. It’s one of those stress-watches-without-consequence—big drama, safely in the past! I have no idea how it will all work out, but we’re cheering for Sarah the bereaved nurse and Nazi victim at the center of it all. Also the heart-of-gold guys who surround her. The show has its hooks into us, deep! And oh those adorable Aussie accents!
Ha. Maybe YOU'RE the one who first recommended APTCH, and here I am, recommending it back to you. Oooops. I'm currently being tormented by the she-witch Regina and that insinuating new police chief. Hope they don't plague me for TOO much longer! BUT WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!!!!
Sari: You are "spot on" when you suggest that we have learned nothing from two World Wars and all of the other skirmishes, large and small. The reason is one unfortunate flaw of the species; that is that we can transfer information (data, science, history, etc.) from generation to generation, but we cannot transmit wisdom or experience from person to person. It's really hopeless to think that wars will or can end. In addition, we are primates, who, by nature are aggressive and belligerent and fed by Testosterone.
Poldark was so excellent! Deep injustice to handsome star, thoroughly despicable villain, radiant heroine, corrupt clergy; all the moving parts required.
I would like to go through Count of Monte Christo again. It was hard to keep all the villains straight after the jail time elapsed. Just me that thought they looked the same? I needed a glossary, I guess. But I was cooking at the same time, so…. And not a Monte Christo sandwich.
Love all these shows and yes, i saw it, the need for the women to be safe inside the society of that time. I watched thinking how lucky I was to be living in a better time. And then, watched everything I marched and fought for be tromped on.
I feel so grateful I was able to get a legal abortion (my first and only) in 1973 after I had marched like mad for women's rights in NYC. I'm horrified for young women today in this Handmaid's Tale we're living in
There is no mystery here. Pardon the pun. Can’t wait for Marble Hall Murders! But to the rest, we live in a patriarchal society and everything women (and others who don’t “fit”) do is impacted by and seen through this lens. So yes, things are getting worse but they were never what they should be: Equal.
Can’t wait to dive into Yesteryear; thanks for the reco. I’m humored by the prospect that our heroine embraces both the trad-wife lifestyle and a very modern way to monetize it.
A reminder that capitalism, like many pests, finds a way to resurface unrestrained.
Everyone PLEASE watch Ride or Die on Prime!! The two leads are played by Hannah Waddingham and Octavia Spencer, which is really all I need to tell you, but I'll keep going by saying it's a spy action thriller and a comedy and a beautiful meditation on friendship. Highly recommend.
I’ll check it out. Thank you!
Absolutely!! It is very good. I love the characters and the interaction between the female leads. Have loved Both Waddingham and Spencer for decades. Good supporting actors.
Agreed! Just finished.
Thank you! I saw it pop up on the screen while I was going to another show, but I will definitely check it out.
What I love about the first three series you mention is that you see people struggling mightily with these issues.
What I love about the Lesley Manville character is that she doesn’t struggle at all.
But then again I love Lesley Manville in anything she does.
She’s so good.
Love Lesley Manville. Watch ‘Mother’ on Britbox. She is brilliant
I normally don’t do fiction, as it’s just too darn fictional. But lately, to quiet modern life long enough to enjoy my pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia, I’ve been gravitating toward historical fiction.
Once I become invested in a story set in the early-to-mid 20th century, I find myself getting annoyed at the female protagonists. Don’t they realize they’re being discriminated against, persecuted, deceived, held back, and belittled? So I back up even farther and start watching programs set in earlier centuries, only to discover that those women faced the same struggles and the same feeling of not being heard.
And as a Hispanic, I couldn't even get annoyed at "my people" because we were almost never there. History was happening around us, or to us, but rarely from our point of view.
So I backed up even farther and started watching stories set in the Middle Ages. Oddly enough, those bothered me less because, after all, most of the characters would be dead before forty anyway—and with bad teeth—so they never even had to confront the indignity of discovering that gray hair turns yellow unless you use purple shampoo.
It turns out every era has its own way of reminding us how hard-won progress really is.
Well put!
Hi Sari,
Thanks for this (and for your substack!). As a lover of history I am continually amazed by how much we could learn from the past if we tried. Understanding where we come from really can help give us perspective on why we are where we are and what we can do about it.
I have been researching Rose Knox, who ran Knox Gelatine (yes the iconic orange box and gelatine molds) from 1908-1947 and became one of the most famous businesswomen in America in the first half of the 1900s by showing, simultaneously, business competence and embrace of domesticity. This persona won her admiration from men and women and, i think, helped set the expectations businesswomen deal with today. I would love to send you an advance copy of my biography of her which comes out Oct. 15 from Cornell - Rose Knox: How One Woman Mixed Kitchen and Boardroom to Remold an American Business. We all need to know where we came from!
I recently watched the Bollywood film Dadi Ki Shaadi (Grandmother's Wedding), a satirical portrayal of the growing emotional distance between aging parents and their married children and adult grandchildren. The film poignantly captures a familiar reality in contemporary India: once children move away and become absorbed in their own families and careers, many older parents are left feeling lonely, isolated, and searching for companionship and purpose.
Beyond family relationships, the story raises important questions about aging, gender, and social expectations. While remarriage in later life is becoming increasingly accepted for older men, it remains uncommon and often stigmatized for older women. Widowed or single older women are expected to conform to conventional ideals of aging—living quietly, suppressing personal desires, and devoting themselves to their children and grandchildren. In contrast, older men are generally afforded greater social freedom to seek companionship or remarry. The film also portrays how adult children often place greater importance on preserving family honor and their own social reputation than on their mother's emotional well-being and desire for companionship, reflecting the enduring influence of social norms and expectations.
Using humor and satire, the film challenges these deeply rooted gender norms and exposes the unequal expectations placed on older women. It invites viewers to reconsider prevailing assumptions about love, companionship, and the right to happiness in later life, highlighting the need to recognize older women as individuals with emotional needs and personal aspirations rather than solely as caregivers or family elders. In doing so, Dadi Ki Shaadi offers not only an entertaining story but also a thoughtful commentary on changing family dynamics, the challenges of aging, and the persistent gender inequalities that shape later life in contemporary India.
The film is loud, colorful, and unabashedly comical, yet beneath its humor lies an important social message. Through satire, it invites audiences to reflect on the loneliness of older adults, the unequal expectations placed on aging women, and the need to recognize that the desire for love, companionship, and dignity does not diminish with age.
Sounds great! I’ll look for it.
Me too on ALL of this, thank you for saying it so well. and that book, wow, ditto, I am not sure I even understand what happened. I once read an article about a couple who duplicated the culture of the the 50s and 60s in their home design and style, and I thought to myself not without one phone in the house with a cord that stretched as far as possible for privacy in calls :) and no tech, no AC, allowed either. That recent smokey air: pretty much what it was like in the polluted fossil fuel- burning 70s where smoking was in every enclosed space. Looks like that's on its way back. Somehow those Brit shows capture everything so well. I can add a few more to your list after I think it over. And to anyone who thinks those good old days were good, well I was there, and they were not, for the majority of people :(
Well said, and I’ll take some recs!
Well for good old fashioned crime in bucolic Oxford UK is Endeavour. How about a demonstration of OCD in the workplace and its origins : Professor T. We all need Doc Martin in our lives and as a doctor. And people visit its place of filming with their pets in recognition! Patience, recognition of autism in the workplace, and its predecessor the French show Astrid. and both of those have the most curious inventive deaths. For humor: Funny Woman, 60s Britain and TV. Motherland and Amandaland.. Colin from Accounts, and Fisk, omg both are literal laugh out loud. and honestly My Life is Murder, one of the best portrayals of gentle colorful snark I have ever seen in a show. That one is a comfort. And lastly of course you've seen this but shout out to Shonda Rhimes for depicting what coulda woulda shoulda been but of course was not a version of British wealth and history, Bridgerton. That should last you till you're my age. I do more than watch TV, I read too LOL. I must love stories.
Thank you for the recs, Janice!
My book recommendation: The Woman They Could Not Silence by Kate Moore, the harrowing but ultimately triumphant story of a woman whose husband had her committed to an insane asylum (in earlier times it was easy for husbands to do that to wives who weren’t duly submissive). It contains an image of an actual admissions log from a U.S. asylum in with reasons for admission like “novel reading” and “change of life.”
The triumphant part is when she finally gets out and becomes an activist who convinces state legislatures to change laws to require court cases and proof before women can be committed to asylums.
My binge watch recommendation: “Shrinking” on Apple TV. Stars Harrison Ford as one of three psychiatrists. His character is older and has Parkinson’s. He also mentors the two younger psychiatrists and has an active sex life. All of the characters (including a gay couple portrayed positively - another plus in my book) are memorable and the show has emotional depth as well as some hilarious moments.
Thanks for the book rec. And I love Shrinking.
I’m also eager for the return of Ted Lasso - another show I love.
Abusers may find it harder to have their spouse “committed”, but the methods just turn to pseudo psychiatry with them defaming women as ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ for not making them a sandwich or “frigid” for declining their limp sweaty D.
We watched in disgust as a President did this to E Jean Carroll. But she won anyway.
Many cases of “PTSD” are not a disorder whatsoever. They are a normal response to traumatic intentional abuse. “I threatened your life several times. Get over it. You’re the problem” is abnormal and terrifying, not the recipient of that terrorizing.
I lean to PTSR. R for response. The best medicine for that is vitamin J: JUSTICE.
That’s why we love novels and movies where justice is truly served. Best to keep this in mind when we can start repairing our democracy. What goes around comes around.
How I wish she had also won the 80+ million dollar defamation of character suit she also won against Trump. But I guess we must be grateful for small favors like a paltry 5 million dollars.
It isn’t over yet, is it? He can’t intimidate the judiciary forever and it’s an established win. His estate will be liable, right?
Kudos to the New Yorkers in the judiciary that stuck to the law and sense of justice. Sad that that seems optional in so many jurisdictions right now.
We can only hope...it wasn't until I read of E Jean's experience with Trump in a dressing room that I remembered this sort of assault had happened to me in college, but I just tossed it off a boys behaving badly in 1967. Too late to sue?
It’s all about finding a lawyer to take the case. Not enough money in it for them? Too hard? Nope.
And Nike lost a $7+ million gender discrimination suit this week too. 💪
Wasn't "Zelda" Nancy Mitford's tale of F. Scott Fitzgerald having his wife committed for dubious reasons? I recall one was that she was becoming a fine writer in her own right.
To quote Steve Martin " The good old days that never were!"
Bullseye.
Thx for adding to my watch list Sari! My wife and I are currently embroiled in the Australian super soaper “A Place to Call Home,” available on Acorn, along with many of the BBC shows you mention. It has a female protagonist (a converted Jew no less), a family carrying a heavy burden of secrets (gay son, manipulative granny, PTSD, out of wedlock births, secretly adopted babies) and grappling with the world after WW2. Every episode contains multiple cliffhangers, loathable enemies, and mortal dangers, all embodied by terrific actors. It’s one of those stress-watches-without-consequence—big drama, safely in the past! I have no idea how it will all work out, but we’re cheering for Sarah the bereaved nurse and Nazi victim at the center of it all. Also the heart-of-gold guys who surround her. The show has its hooks into us, deep! And oh those adorable Aussie accents!
Oh, yes, I have watched A Place to Call Home TWICE I loved it so much. (Have also recommended it here.) So good…
Ha. Maybe YOU'RE the one who first recommended APTCH, and here I am, recommending it back to you. Oooops. I'm currently being tormented by the she-witch Regina and that insinuating new police chief. Hope they don't plague me for TOO much longer! BUT WAIT! DON'T TELL ME!!!!
I WON’T TELL YOU! But, yeah, she is there to provide conflict. Again and again. In a very soapy way.
I BRISTLE on the couch and throw stuff whenever the viperess appears. She wears great dresses and hats, so those are mitigating factors.
The clothes in that show are excellent.
LOVED A Place to Call Home!
Sari: You are "spot on" when you suggest that we have learned nothing from two World Wars and all of the other skirmishes, large and small. The reason is one unfortunate flaw of the species; that is that we can transfer information (data, science, history, etc.) from generation to generation, but we cannot transmit wisdom or experience from person to person. It's really hopeless to think that wars will or can end. In addition, we are primates, who, by nature are aggressive and belligerent and fed by Testosterone.
Thanks, Sam. I wish it weren’t true. But you are right. <3
I love how you highlight achievements! My first novel just came out and I had my first reading/book signing. I am so relieved and happy at 67!
On AMazon. Impossible Choices: When Survival is Left to CHance
Also on a PBS travel through time binge…Poldark (currently on season 2) and Count of Monte Cristo (because who doesn’t like hand delivered Karma….)
Thank you!
Poldark was so excellent! Deep injustice to handsome star, thoroughly despicable villain, radiant heroine, corrupt clergy; all the moving parts required.
I would like to go through Count of Monte Christo again. It was hard to keep all the villains straight after the jail time elapsed. Just me that thought they looked the same? I needed a glossary, I guess. But I was cooking at the same time, so…. And not a Monte Christo sandwich.
Very insightful observations on gender views as they have evolved.
Love all these shows and yes, i saw it, the need for the women to be safe inside the society of that time. I watched thinking how lucky I was to be living in a better time. And then, watched everything I marched and fought for be tromped on.
Exactly.
I feel so grateful I was able to get a legal abortion (my first and only) in 1973 after I had marched like mad for women's rights in NYC. I'm horrified for young women today in this Handmaid's Tale we're living in
💯
There is no mystery here. Pardon the pun. Can’t wait for Marble Hall Murders! But to the rest, we live in a patriarchal society and everything women (and others who don’t “fit”) do is impacted by and seen through this lens. So yes, things are getting worse but they were never what they should be: Equal.
Exactly. Drives me nuts.
Can’t wait to dive into Yesteryear; thanks for the reco. I’m humored by the prospect that our heroine embraces both the trad-wife lifestyle and a very modern way to monetize it.
A reminder that capitalism, like many pests, finds a way to resurface unrestrained.
A reflection, sadly, of our current climate.
Yes, yes!