I am 67. At 62, I was honored to take the Oldster quiz and I proclaimed myself 13, but I think I’m about 23 now in the sense that — I have been trying to open myself up to the idea that anything can happen at any time — and what if it were wonderful? It doesn’t matter if it’s _likely_ to be wonderful, it matters only to be reminded that it _could_ be wonderful. Just because I have (by actuarial standards) less life in front of me doesn’t mean it can’t be full of surprises and wonder. You’ll have to trust me, my past year actually bears that out.
Love this, Laura. And, wow, you have been with Oldster since the beginning! I can’t believe Oldster is approaching 5 years old. (It’s internal age is 3. Lol.)
I’m 60 and most days still feel like I’m in my early 30s. The shock comes when I look in the mirror or see photos of myself. Or when I think about something that happened when I was 40 and realize that was a third of my lifetime ago. It’s surreal indeed.
My sister and I were just texting about that this morning. She’s 10 years older than I am, and only 10 years younger than our mother was when she died. It’s sobering! Especially when I just started blood pressure medication today — I figure I’m lucky to have gotten to 60 without any pharmaceutical intervention until now. 🙂
Yes, sobering, truly. It’s very strange when 30 years ago seems like just yesterday. Makes me feel more urgent about getting various creative projects done.
Turning 60 hit me in December like a winter bomb cyclone. Not because I'm decrepit, but because my typically innocuous annual physical makes me think I suddenly am. Osteoporosis. You know, "old crone's disease." I was one of those way-more-mature-than-your-age kids, beginning my (first) career and living on my own (own apt., bills, etc.) at 16. But I've kept fit and mobile all my life. Now I have to worry about slip-n-fall fractures? That's not normal for a 16-year-old sexagenarian!
I'm 56. Last year I brought to an end a 30+ year career in IT consulting and recently took a job as a boatbuilder apprentice. It's been a lifelong dream; no time like the present.
I would feel younger than I am if it were not for the state of the world. I often find myself thinking, "really? these are how my golden years are gonna be?" I know that sounds entitled. I'm a late boomer American, whaddya expect?
On days when I put all that aside, I honestly feel about 12. I don't have a lot of burdens or responsibilities, personally, and I can spend as much time as I want reading, drawing, exploring my local surroundings. And I didn't have period cramps at 12! Goodbye to all that!
The only thing I'm missing from the age of 12 is the constant companionship of my best friend, hanging out at school all day together, in-jokes, talking all afternoon on the wall phone, sitting together in her grandfather's huge recliner to watch "Dark Shadows," which I'd only do with her because it scared me too much to watch alone.
We're still "best friends," but we live in different states now and only get to see each other once a year or so (boo-hoo). There is still a lot of in-jokes and phoning, but I don't sit upside down on our stairs, with my feet going up and my head hanging off, having to change my ear once in a while because we're on the phone for so long. And of course, I still remember her family's phone number!
I'm 54. I recently came across a line in a book I was reading that described a young man as "finally having a body that grew into his soul" and it really struck me hard. I feel that. Like I am finally filling out my soul properly...
Anyway! I'm not at all sure this is what you meant, because I have no nostalgia for previous ages. But perhaps that's because I started getting abused very young (3 or 4) and so every age has felt like a slow crawl beyond that reality, rife with complications and ambivalence. But I do sometimes wonder about the briefly inhabited me prior, who I have no memory of. What was she like? What sense of wonder or possibility did she lead with? I don't associate myself with her, but I do sometimes wish I could sit with her for a moment and witness who she was.
I am 76. I know physically there are things I had better not even think of trying—because my life is mostly sedentary, farewell dreams if Everest’s Base Camp or a Zodiac to the shore of Antarctica (maybe), and sometimes, I need to remember a name or word. However, I could not do or think or feel or say what I do now when I was 26 because I just didn’t have the courage or the experience or the same sense of fun.
I went on a Sikkim trek (not mountaineering, but steep up- and downhill hiking on rugged trails) with younger (50s) karate friends when I was 78, a year and a half ago. It was very hard physically—especially the downhill parts, because of my arthritic knees—but ecstatic. I could not do it again; it probably finished off my knees 😂 but it was totally worth it. A human body is to use up and throw away.
I always felt young for my age, mostly because I'm a professor and spend most of my time around college-age people. But then my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease at 54--quickly follwed by Parkinson's dementia. I became a dementia caregiver at 56, and all the support services designed for dementia care are (as you would expect) designed for much older people. My husband is now, at 61, the youngest member of his memory care community. I feel like I've aged 20 years in the last 7. Life circumstances --many of which we don't control at all--have a lot to do with age dysmorphia.
I was a dementia caregiver (Lewy body, which like Parkinson's is also physically disabling) for more than ten gradually progressing years, starting, also, in my mid-fifties. When my 18-years-older husband died, I was 64. I was very worn down. And isolated—like I'd been an exile on a solitary island. I feel as if my movement practices (karate and Feldenkrais) protected my physical health, but it took a long period of decompression to come back to the world and life psychologically.
I have a good friend who is 42 and I actually said (and very much meant) the phrase "people our age" to them -- forgetting I was in college when they were born.
Most days I feel 39. Not sure why that number, but it stuck (LOL!). Maggie Smith’s nesting doll analogy is spot on—such a great way to capture the layers of aging. Thanks for sharing, and congrats on NPR!
While I can’t deny being 68 I have a fascination with how I felt at age 23, not regret or wanting to go back, more like trying to tap the energy level and curiosity I felt when my adult life was just beginning.
I feel different ages depending on what I'm doing. When I'm with my children and grandchildren, I feel around my current age––64. When I'm working out, I feel like I'm in my 20s. So the nesting dolls shift places.
I'm 74, and my body makes sure I know it, but in my mind, I'm still 40-something because I'm still working and striving and dreaming and feel no different from my friends who are young enough to be my kids.
I like Maggie Smith’s nesting dolls analogy. In my mind I’ve always thought of my years as layers of an onion or tree rings, with the core of seventy-something me being the same forever and linking back to the nonverbal infant self. I don’t know what age I feel—perhaps all of them, but in shifts, depending on my mood.
My wife and I have always played the "...but I only feel XX years old" game. We're in our 70s but she's 55 and I'm still 3 or 4 years older (most days).
My age is none of my business. - Dwight Lee Wolter
Ha!
I am 67. At 62, I was honored to take the Oldster quiz and I proclaimed myself 13, but I think I’m about 23 now in the sense that — I have been trying to open myself up to the idea that anything can happen at any time — and what if it were wonderful? It doesn’t matter if it’s _likely_ to be wonderful, it matters only to be reminded that it _could_ be wonderful. Just because I have (by actuarial standards) less life in front of me doesn’t mean it can’t be full of surprises and wonder. You’ll have to trust me, my past year actually bears that out.
Love this, Laura. And, wow, you have been with Oldster since the beginning! I can’t believe Oldster is approaching 5 years old. (It’s internal age is 3. Lol.)
I’m 60 and most days still feel like I’m in my early 30s. The shock comes when I look in the mirror or see photos of myself. Or when I think about something that happened when I was 40 and realize that was a third of my lifetime ago. It’s surreal indeed.
So surreal!
Agree with this so much. “How did all that time go by”
My sister and I were just texting about that this morning. She’s 10 years older than I am, and only 10 years younger than our mother was when she died. It’s sobering! Especially when I just started blood pressure medication today — I figure I’m lucky to have gotten to 60 without any pharmaceutical intervention until now. 🙂
Great perspective!
Yes, sobering, truly. It’s very strange when 30 years ago seems like just yesterday. Makes me feel more urgent about getting various creative projects done.
Yes, same.
Turning 60 hit me in December like a winter bomb cyclone. Not because I'm decrepit, but because my typically innocuous annual physical makes me think I suddenly am. Osteoporosis. You know, "old crone's disease." I was one of those way-more-mature-than-your-age kids, beginning my (first) career and living on my own (own apt., bills, etc.) at 16. But I've kept fit and mobile all my life. Now I have to worry about slip-n-fall fractures? That's not normal for a 16-year-old sexagenarian!
I'm 56. Last year I brought to an end a 30+ year career in IT consulting and recently took a job as a boatbuilder apprentice. It's been a lifelong dream; no time like the present.
Inspiring!
I would feel younger than I am if it were not for the state of the world. I often find myself thinking, "really? these are how my golden years are gonna be?" I know that sounds entitled. I'm a late boomer American, whaddya expect?
On days when I put all that aside, I honestly feel about 12. I don't have a lot of burdens or responsibilities, personally, and I can spend as much time as I want reading, drawing, exploring my local surroundings. And I didn't have period cramps at 12! Goodbye to all that!
The only thing I'm missing from the age of 12 is the constant companionship of my best friend, hanging out at school all day together, in-jokes, talking all afternoon on the wall phone, sitting together in her grandfather's huge recliner to watch "Dark Shadows," which I'd only do with her because it scared me too much to watch alone.
We're still "best friends," but we live in different states now and only get to see each other once a year or so (boo-hoo). There is still a lot of in-jokes and phoning, but I don't sit upside down on our stairs, with my feet going up and my head hanging off, having to change my ear once in a while because we're on the phone for so long. And of course, I still remember her family's phone number!
Wow. And I feel you on the state of the world intruding on…everything.
I'm 54. I recently came across a line in a book I was reading that described a young man as "finally having a body that grew into his soul" and it really struck me hard. I feel that. Like I am finally filling out my soul properly...
Anyway! I'm not at all sure this is what you meant, because I have no nostalgia for previous ages. But perhaps that's because I started getting abused very young (3 or 4) and so every age has felt like a slow crawl beyond that reality, rife with complications and ambivalence. But I do sometimes wonder about the briefly inhabited me prior, who I have no memory of. What was she like? What sense of wonder or possibility did she lead with? I don't associate myself with her, but I do sometimes wish I could sit with her for a moment and witness who she was.
That’s a great line!
I am 76. I know physically there are things I had better not even think of trying—because my life is mostly sedentary, farewell dreams if Everest’s Base Camp or a Zodiac to the shore of Antarctica (maybe), and sometimes, I need to remember a name or word. However, I could not do or think or feel or say what I do now when I was 26 because I just didn’t have the courage or the experience or the same sense of fun.
Make sense.
I went on a Sikkim trek (not mountaineering, but steep up- and downhill hiking on rugged trails) with younger (50s) karate friends when I was 78, a year and a half ago. It was very hard physically—especially the downhill parts, because of my arthritic knees—but ecstatic. I could not do it again; it probably finished off my knees 😂 but it was totally worth it. A human body is to use up and throw away.
I always felt young for my age, mostly because I'm a professor and spend most of my time around college-age people. But then my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease at 54--quickly follwed by Parkinson's dementia. I became a dementia caregiver at 56, and all the support services designed for dementia care are (as you would expect) designed for much older people. My husband is now, at 61, the youngest member of his memory care community. I feel like I've aged 20 years in the last 7. Life circumstances --many of which we don't control at all--have a lot to do with age dysmorphia.
I’m so sorry. <3
I was a dementia caregiver (Lewy body, which like Parkinson's is also physically disabling) for more than ten gradually progressing years, starting, also, in my mid-fifties. When my 18-years-older husband died, I was 64. I was very worn down. And isolated—like I'd been an exile on a solitary island. I feel as if my movement practices (karate and Feldenkrais) protected my physical health, but it took a long period of decompression to come back to the world and life psychologically.
This is exactly how I'm feeling with my husband now in memory care--like I'm re-entering the world after being on another planet for many years.
<3
I have a good friend who is 42 and I actually said (and very much meant) the phrase "people our age" to them -- forgetting I was in college when they were born.
Ha!
Most days I feel 39. Not sure why that number, but it stuck (LOL!). Maggie Smith’s nesting doll analogy is spot on—such a great way to capture the layers of aging. Thanks for sharing, and congrats on NPR!
Thanks, Meghan! And I know what you mean.
While I can’t deny being 68 I have a fascination with how I felt at age 23, not regret or wanting to go back, more like trying to tap the energy level and curiosity I felt when my adult life was just beginning.
Hi Sari,
I feel different ages depending on what I'm doing. When I'm with my children and grandchildren, I feel around my current age––64. When I'm working out, I feel like I'm in my 20s. So the nesting dolls shift places.
This makes so much sense, David! I love it.
73 going on 8 eternally. No longer able to climb trees now I’m time traveling a mode of transport fueled by memory and imagination.
Love, love, love. <3
I'm 74, and my body makes sure I know it, but in my mind, I'm still 40-something because I'm still working and striving and dreaming and feel no different from my friends who are young enough to be my kids.
I like Maggie Smith’s nesting dolls analogy. In my mind I’ve always thought of my years as layers of an onion or tree rings, with the core of seventy-something me being the same forever and linking back to the nonverbal infant self. I don’t know what age I feel—perhaps all of them, but in shifts, depending on my mood.
My wife and I have always played the "...but I only feel XX years old" game. We're in our 70s but she's 55 and I'm still 3 or 4 years older (most days).
Love it.