I've updated the link to the Reader's Digest piece so that it's correct. Here it is: https://www.rd.com/list/what-the-crown-gets-wrong-british-royal-family/ Also, I corrected the spelling of "uncharitable." And as some of you have pointed out, the gmail address oldsterbookshelf@gmail.com is currently not working. I got an email from gmail saying they think it was created by A.I., not me, and that is not the case! I wrote them back assuring them I'm real, and will alert you as soon as that email address is back up and running. I apologize for any inconvenience! //UPDATE: New yahoo email address instead: oldsterbookshelf@yahoo.com
I am my father's primary caregiver and, though he lives "independently," there's a lot of nuance in that designation. He never leaves his apartment, except for doctor's appointments and haircuts when I am chauffeur and escort. I manage his food, laundry, meds, appointments, and make desperate daily stabs at bringing joy. I take him books, show him pictures, tell him what he's missing outside his four walls. He is fairly despondent about the state of the world (aren't we all?) and we commiserate each afternoon about the latest madness. It does feel like a gift to get all this time with him and help him, but it's a lot and I struggle to understand why he's just given up and doesn't engage in his own life. He's compromised in many ways, for sure, but he could take the reins a bit and enjoy his days more with just a little effort. I am learning how I DO NOT want to be in my 80s, assuming I make it. But there's a lot I don't understand about the aging, failing body and its effect on mood, motivation, and the ability to grasp at joy - hopefully, I won't repeat his resigned sadness. The world is trying to beat us, but there is still beauty, yes? There is still the capacity for joy and it is my resistance to find it, even if he can't.
I know what you mean when you put "independently" in quotes. For many years we moved heaven and earth to keep my husband's parents in their own home. It came at a high cost to us, since we basically ran their lives, and as you said, "made desperate daily stabs at bringing joy." It did, however, deepen our relationship with them and showed us what the end of life looks like up close -- for better or worse.
I was a journalist in NY when JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette died in the plane crash, and their lives felt like a spectacle. It was hard to even tangentially take part in the coverage. So I wasn't inclined to watch the biopic anyway, but I'm especially not now, given the injustice done to Daryl Hannah. Thank you for your always-thoughtful insights.
There are so many good novels and good films. Why do we need this kind of gander into private lives? You know it's fictionalized, but with consequences.
My husband thoroughly enjoyed The Crown, but after just part of one episode I couldn't watch it as it was quite historically inaccurate. I'm a history teacher and I find this playing fast and loose with the facts intolerable. And I feel great sympathy for people who are still alive and have their reputations sullied by these 'biopics' that stray so far from the truth.
Yes! I also do not watch the History Channel (it's entertainment, NOT history), and start and don't finish historical novels which play fast and loose with the historical situation they purport to represent. Related to your efforts - I now teach for Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) in NH and HI, online via zoom and sometimes in person. It's a blast! Retired folks who just want to learn something new - and no papers or tests to create/grade, no faculty or parent meetings...
Daryl Hannah should sue them for slander. It's one thing to show someone in an unflattering light, something else to deliberately fabricate actions they never took.
I haven't seen the show, but you might also argue that it's bad writing. An adversary who's horrible or stupid is no triumph to overcome. An adversary who's charming and funny and delightful is a much tougher triumph.
I have this battle with myself every time I watch a biopic. I really do love them and see such artistic opportunity there to teach younger generations about the past in an engaging way. My frustration with the inaccuracies lies mainly when the falsehoods are used to make the story "more interesting." If the story or person was interesting enough to warrant a biopic in the first place we should not need to exceptionalize it further. I think it is desensitizing an already desensitized population. I am okay with it because I know I will not be treating them as a history lesson, but with misinformation what it is right now there are so many people who do.
Hi, Sari, I so agree with you! I also read Darryl Hannah's piece in the Times. (Kudos for publishing it!)I couldn't even watch Love Story. First, for me...Love Story is Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal. That is how old I am. Then, (as someone who worked in fashion) I couldn't stand to see how she was dressed in several of the promo shots . I never ever saw a photo of Carolyn Bessette when she seemed the least bit self-conscious. As in...conscious of the effect she was making. This actress was so full of that and the fashion too "today". too sexy. Not the vibe I ever saw of Carolyn. Sorry Hollywood! You got it wrong.
Yeah, the portrayal of Bessette feels off to me. She seemed much more dignified in real life. You know, I’ve never seen Love Story the movie! I need to fix that.
I agree with your take on the title. The “original” Love Story made such an impression at the time that the creation of another move, with attractive characters ripped from the headlines, seems like an appropriation of the name. Not to mention the pseudo docu-drama vibe. Lazy at best. Or intentional? Me septical brain wonders.
I am so so happy for Oldster! My husband sent me the Times article and I've yet to read it because in a current busy patch, but I feel like when you "discover" a band and then the whole world falls in love with them too. This article will help my conversion rate - I'm constantly talking to people about Oldster. Looking forward to next month when things will slow down and I can get caught up on reading. Congrats, Sari! Keep doing the good work! ♥️
Biopics are for entertainment . . . documentaries are for insight derived from accurate information. The onus is on us, the consumer, to be mindful re: the difference in purpose.
Exactly that. Even If I wasn't "there," there are certain things in biopics that tend to ring false and come off as being more contrived for the sake of jazzing up the storyline. I am skipping "Love Story" for the time being. I figured certain liberties were taken with "The Crown," even though I enjoyed watching this during Covid lockdown days. (Don't even get me started on biopics like "CBGB," which was more laughable than enjoyable.)
And although documentaries are genrally beholden to the truth, I have also noticed deliberate omissions or an artistic bias to paint a favorable or unfavorable picture of certain people in the story. Just my .02, for what it's worth.
Oh, definitely. Like the Led Zeppelin doc produced by Robert Plant, that leaves out the fact that he cheated on his wife with her sister, and had a kid with her, and also had a whole other girlfriend who traveled with him on the road.
I am with Sari here. Unfortunately, the people who make biopics are happy to obscure the extent to which they deviate from fact, which is one of the many, many ways moving-picture entertainment like film, TV, streaming, et al., fall wildly short of the most basic standards adhered to in word-based media. Most people are simply unaware, and you're going to find very little in the way of meaningful disclosure in film or TV credits about how and where they diverge from fact, beyond "based on a true story."
Currently caring for my sister who is 78 and has some form of dementia and helping my mother and father in law who are in their mid eighties.
My sister who was shocked to find her house in foreclosure hadn’t opened her mail since 2023. She didn’t have a voicemail box that worked or an email. None of us realized how bad it was because she seemed like things were going all right. She hasn’t been to her doctor for three years because she couldn’t “afford” the co-pay. I could go on but I’m sure you get the point.
There are three of us that are her sisters that are trying to put back the pieces. Step one … stop the foreclosure.
I am recently divorced, in my 60’s, and have cared for my widowed mother through a few health issues over the past few years. She is 86, I live with her now and it’s debatable whether full time life on her own will be feasible ever again, certainly she is unlikely to drive again and the technology of Uber is more than she can deal with. She is adamantly against any sort of care facility no matter how nice. And she could easily live for another 20 years. At which point I myself will be in my 80’s. What terrifies me is this: the end of my own independence, of pursuing my own livelihood, enjoying the last decades of my own physical ability to go explore and enjoy life. I just lose the next 20 years, which are basically my own last 20 years of independence and productivity? I don’t care how much you love your parent, that’s a brutal reality to face. Also, I commiserate other commenters about desperately trying to think up things they will want to, things to stimulate or entertain your parent. To so little avail.
My theory about biopics is that as the media cycle has gotten shorter & shorter in terms of timescales, things that happened very recently are being framed as 'history' & rendered in fictionalised form. Often this happens when the subject of the film is still alive (i.e. Bob Dylan, surviving members of Queen, the Royal Family) or at least their family & friends are. How can you hope for objectivity in such a scenario? Of course the subject will want to be portrayed in a flattering light. I find this whole trend ethically dubious, to say the least. When the subject of the film is a male star, it's often womenfolk who get thrown under the bus (i.e. Bob Dylan film-- I gather: I haven't seen it for the aforementioned reasons.)
I remember when John and Caroline died...I wondered about a certain reckless drive in John that ended up in so much sorrow for so many. I knew that the show would romanticize everything because they were beautiful celebrities. Then I read Darryl Hannah's op-ed and knew that this was not something I ever needed to watch. What happened to everything was tragic on many levels, now fodder for some made-up “love story of the century.”
100%. And his hubris cost both their families so much. He wasn’t “instrument trained,” which you need for flying at night. His teacher had to cancel, and he just went anyway. I read that Carolyn’s mother sued the Kennedys and that they settled with her for an estimated $15 million. Not enough for losing two daughters! And then the mother died “of a broken heart” a few years later. An avoidable tragedy.
This was my memory of events--that he was not properly trained. Imagine taking your wife and her sister up in the air in a small plane without training? Who does this? Why would anyone take such a risk? It's a kind of hubris, just like Icarus. Also thanks for the article from the Pew study on eldercare.
The recent Darryl Hannah piece was heartbreaking - that a real person's life could be misrepresented for the purpose of story dynamics. But there is an even more heart breaking backstory. If my memory serves me, she was also one of the actors whose career was ruined by the slanderous revenge of Harvey Weinstein - so this latest slander is built on top of a previous one. It says something about our culture's "moral compass" - and makes me wish such a thing played a larger role in our public dialog.
I am the caregiver for my husband, who is 76 and has Alzheimer's; I am 58, and we met when I was 28 and he was 45. Over the past six years he has been slowly deteriorating, and living with that is both painful and strangely precious because the slowness means he is still here with me. He still loves me deeply and shows it every day, even as the strong, capable, stubborn man I knew is fading. Our relationship has changed—I now do almost everything—and some days I feel overwhelmed, impatient, and unsure if I am doing enough. Being a caregiver has reshaped my life: I move forward one day at a time, taking care of what I can, finding small moments of joy, and trying not to look too far ahead. For now, he is still my greatest love and my best friend, and he loves me and needs me—so I keep going, grateful that he is alive.
I've updated the link to the Reader's Digest piece so that it's correct. Here it is: https://www.rd.com/list/what-the-crown-gets-wrong-british-royal-family/ Also, I corrected the spelling of "uncharitable." And as some of you have pointed out, the gmail address oldsterbookshelf@gmail.com is currently not working. I got an email from gmail saying they think it was created by A.I., not me, and that is not the case! I wrote them back assuring them I'm real, and will alert you as soon as that email address is back up and running. I apologize for any inconvenience! //UPDATE: New yahoo email address instead: oldsterbookshelf@yahoo.com
Hi! Lauren Cahn here! Thanks for bringing back some good memories! 💕
I am my father's primary caregiver and, though he lives "independently," there's a lot of nuance in that designation. He never leaves his apartment, except for doctor's appointments and haircuts when I am chauffeur and escort. I manage his food, laundry, meds, appointments, and make desperate daily stabs at bringing joy. I take him books, show him pictures, tell him what he's missing outside his four walls. He is fairly despondent about the state of the world (aren't we all?) and we commiserate each afternoon about the latest madness. It does feel like a gift to get all this time with him and help him, but it's a lot and I struggle to understand why he's just given up and doesn't engage in his own life. He's compromised in many ways, for sure, but he could take the reins a bit and enjoy his days more with just a little effort. I am learning how I DO NOT want to be in my 80s, assuming I make it. But there's a lot I don't understand about the aging, failing body and its effect on mood, motivation, and the ability to grasp at joy - hopefully, I won't repeat his resigned sadness. The world is trying to beat us, but there is still beauty, yes? There is still the capacity for joy and it is my resistance to find it, even if he can't.
Thank you for sharing this, Lisa. It sounds like a lot, but also a blessing in many ways. <3
I know what you mean when you put "independently" in quotes. For many years we moved heaven and earth to keep my husband's parents in their own home. It came at a high cost to us, since we basically ran their lives, and as you said, "made desperate daily stabs at bringing joy." It did, however, deepen our relationship with them and showed us what the end of life looks like up close -- for better or worse.
I was a journalist in NY when JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette died in the plane crash, and their lives felt like a spectacle. It was hard to even tangentially take part in the coverage. So I wasn't inclined to watch the biopic anyway, but I'm especially not now, given the injustice done to Daryl Hannah. Thank you for your always-thoughtful insights.
Thanks Diane, and for chiming in. I remember feeling so broken up about their tragic end. I’m more conscious of that feeling now.
There are so many good novels and good films. Why do we need this kind of gander into private lives? You know it's fictionalized, but with consequences.
My husband thoroughly enjoyed The Crown, but after just part of one episode I couldn't watch it as it was quite historically inaccurate. I'm a history teacher and I find this playing fast and loose with the facts intolerable. And I feel great sympathy for people who are still alive and have their reputations sullied by these 'biopics' that stray so far from the truth.
It must be maddening for a history teacher!
Yes! I also do not watch the History Channel (it's entertainment, NOT history), and start and don't finish historical novels which play fast and loose with the historical situation they purport to represent. Related to your efforts - I now teach for Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) in NH and HI, online via zoom and sometimes in person. It's a blast! Retired folks who just want to learn something new - and no papers or tests to create/grade, no faculty or parent meetings...
Daryl Hannah should sue them for slander. It's one thing to show someone in an unflattering light, something else to deliberately fabricate actions they never took.
I haven't seen the show, but you might also argue that it's bad writing. An adversary who's horrible or stupid is no triumph to overcome. An adversary who's charming and funny and delightful is a much tougher triumph.
Yes, except I just learned of some first amendment clause that protects “docudramas” which…what the hell???
Wow. That's bollocks. A bit of leeway, OK, but not outright fabrication. I hope someone challenges that.
Agree!
I have this battle with myself every time I watch a biopic. I really do love them and see such artistic opportunity there to teach younger generations about the past in an engaging way. My frustration with the inaccuracies lies mainly when the falsehoods are used to make the story "more interesting." If the story or person was interesting enough to warrant a biopic in the first place we should not need to exceptionalize it further. I think it is desensitizing an already desensitized population. I am okay with it because I know I will not be treating them as a history lesson, but with misinformation what it is right now there are so many people who do.
Exactly.
Hi, Sari, I so agree with you! I also read Darryl Hannah's piece in the Times. (Kudos for publishing it!)I couldn't even watch Love Story. First, for me...Love Story is Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal. That is how old I am. Then, (as someone who worked in fashion) I couldn't stand to see how she was dressed in several of the promo shots . I never ever saw a photo of Carolyn Bessette when she seemed the least bit self-conscious. As in...conscious of the effect she was making. This actress was so full of that and the fashion too "today". too sexy. Not the vibe I ever saw of Carolyn. Sorry Hollywood! You got it wrong.
Yeah, the portrayal of Bessette feels off to me. She seemed much more dignified in real life. You know, I’ve never seen Love Story the movie! I need to fix that.
I agree with your take on the title. The “original” Love Story made such an impression at the time that the creation of another move, with attractive characters ripped from the headlines, seems like an appropriation of the name. Not to mention the pseudo docu-drama vibe. Lazy at best. Or intentional? Me septical brain wonders.
Good question, Jane.
I am so so happy for Oldster! My husband sent me the Times article and I've yet to read it because in a current busy patch, but I feel like when you "discover" a band and then the whole world falls in love with them too. This article will help my conversion rate - I'm constantly talking to people about Oldster. Looking forward to next month when things will slow down and I can get caught up on reading. Congrats, Sari! Keep doing the good work! ♥️
Thank you so much, Nancy!
Sadly, viewership numbers lead to funding of more of same.
True. I’m complicit…
Biopics are for entertainment . . . documentaries are for insight derived from accurate information. The onus is on us, the consumer, to be mindful re: the difference in purpose.
Eh, I think the biopic makers have a little onus...
Exactly that. Even If I wasn't "there," there are certain things in biopics that tend to ring false and come off as being more contrived for the sake of jazzing up the storyline. I am skipping "Love Story" for the time being. I figured certain liberties were taken with "The Crown," even though I enjoyed watching this during Covid lockdown days. (Don't even get me started on biopics like "CBGB," which was more laughable than enjoyable.)
And although documentaries are genrally beholden to the truth, I have also noticed deliberate omissions or an artistic bias to paint a favorable or unfavorable picture of certain people in the story. Just my .02, for what it's worth.
Oh, definitely. Like the Led Zeppelin doc produced by Robert Plant, that leaves out the fact that he cheated on his wife with her sister, and had a kid with her, and also had a whole other girlfriend who traveled with him on the road.
Haven't seen it, but yup, a good example.
I am with Sari here. Unfortunately, the people who make biopics are happy to obscure the extent to which they deviate from fact, which is one of the many, many ways moving-picture entertainment like film, TV, streaming, et al., fall wildly short of the most basic standards adhered to in word-based media. Most people are simply unaware, and you're going to find very little in the way of meaningful disclosure in film or TV credits about how and where they diverge from fact, beyond "based on a true story."
Well put, Doug.
Currently caring for my sister who is 78 and has some form of dementia and helping my mother and father in law who are in their mid eighties.
My sister who was shocked to find her house in foreclosure hadn’t opened her mail since 2023. She didn’t have a voicemail box that worked or an email. None of us realized how bad it was because she seemed like things were going all right. She hasn’t been to her doctor for three years because she couldn’t “afford” the co-pay. I could go on but I’m sure you get the point.
There are three of us that are her sisters that are trying to put back the pieces. Step one … stop the foreclosure.
Wishing you all the best with all of this. It sounds like a lot…
I am recently divorced, in my 60’s, and have cared for my widowed mother through a few health issues over the past few years. She is 86, I live with her now and it’s debatable whether full time life on her own will be feasible ever again, certainly she is unlikely to drive again and the technology of Uber is more than she can deal with. She is adamantly against any sort of care facility no matter how nice. And she could easily live for another 20 years. At which point I myself will be in my 80’s. What terrifies me is this: the end of my own independence, of pursuing my own livelihood, enjoying the last decades of my own physical ability to go explore and enjoy life. I just lose the next 20 years, which are basically my own last 20 years of independence and productivity? I don’t care how much you love your parent, that’s a brutal reality to face. Also, I commiserate other commenters about desperately trying to think up things they will want to, things to stimulate or entertain your parent. To so little avail.
My theory about biopics is that as the media cycle has gotten shorter & shorter in terms of timescales, things that happened very recently are being framed as 'history' & rendered in fictionalised form. Often this happens when the subject of the film is still alive (i.e. Bob Dylan, surviving members of Queen, the Royal Family) or at least their family & friends are. How can you hope for objectivity in such a scenario? Of course the subject will want to be portrayed in a flattering light. I find this whole trend ethically dubious, to say the least. When the subject of the film is a male star, it's often womenfolk who get thrown under the bus (i.e. Bob Dylan film-- I gather: I haven't seen it for the aforementioned reasons.)
This tracks. Thanks.
I remember when John and Caroline died...I wondered about a certain reckless drive in John that ended up in so much sorrow for so many. I knew that the show would romanticize everything because they were beautiful celebrities. Then I read Darryl Hannah's op-ed and knew that this was not something I ever needed to watch. What happened to everything was tragic on many levels, now fodder for some made-up “love story of the century.”
100%. And his hubris cost both their families so much. He wasn’t “instrument trained,” which you need for flying at night. His teacher had to cancel, and he just went anyway. I read that Carolyn’s mother sued the Kennedys and that they settled with her for an estimated $15 million. Not enough for losing two daughters! And then the mother died “of a broken heart” a few years later. An avoidable tragedy.
This was my memory of events--that he was not properly trained. Imagine taking your wife and her sister up in the air in a small plane without training? Who does this? Why would anyone take such a risk? It's a kind of hubris, just like Icarus. Also thanks for the article from the Pew study on eldercare.
Exactly. And my pleasure.
The recent Darryl Hannah piece was heartbreaking - that a real person's life could be misrepresented for the purpose of story dynamics. But there is an even more heart breaking backstory. If my memory serves me, she was also one of the actors whose career was ruined by the slanderous revenge of Harvey Weinstein - so this latest slander is built on top of a previous one. It says something about our culture's "moral compass" - and makes me wish such a thing played a larger role in our public dialog.
Oh, yes, I think you’re right. How doubly awful for her. I’m with you on the moral compass…
I am the caregiver for my husband, who is 76 and has Alzheimer's; I am 58, and we met when I was 28 and he was 45. Over the past six years he has been slowly deteriorating, and living with that is both painful and strangely precious because the slowness means he is still here with me. He still loves me deeply and shows it every day, even as the strong, capable, stubborn man I knew is fading. Our relationship has changed—I now do almost everything—and some days I feel overwhelmed, impatient, and unsure if I am doing enough. Being a caregiver has reshaped my life: I move forward one day at a time, taking care of what I can, finding small moments of joy, and trying not to look too far ahead. For now, he is still my greatest love and my best friend, and he loves me and needs me—so I keep going, grateful that he is alive.
<3