73 Comments
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Natalie Serber's avatar

Thank you for this story of love between strangers, who become friends, and then one another's chosen family. This is the world I want to live in. This is the story I needed today in this moment of deep anxiety. And, the writing is beautiful. xN

Hal Grotevant's avatar

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. My wife died 16 months ago, and both our kids live across the country. So in these past months, I've been opening myself to creating my chosen family and experiencing new depths of caring and friendship in relationships that have been there for many years. I am grateful for the technology that allows me to connect deeply with friends who live far away, because many of mine do. Your piece really moved me - thank you.

Sari Botton's avatar

So sorry for your loss, Hal. Thanks for sharing here. Glad to hear you are finding community. :)

Chris J. Rice's avatar

Thank you, Hal. I am sorry for your loss and glad to hear you are reaching out.

Melissa's avatar

I spent this summer trying to gently reconnect with my body after a painful infection with Lyme Disease. I chose to swim laps at a nearby pool from noon to 1pm several times each week where I met several retirees who enjoyed "senior swim" from 11-12.

I began arriving a bit earlier each time so I could socialize with my new summer friends. Between the water and the company, I felt revitalized.

The fountain of youth isn't a place; it's a state of mind, and I think the most inspiring "oldsters" understand this and live accordingly.

Also, holding space for Chris (and all of us) who are recreating what family means.

Sari Botton's avatar

“The fountain of youth isn't a place; it's a state of mind…” Yes!

Chris J. Rice's avatar

Yes. Values and a loving state of mind have so much to do with continuing to create and sustain connection.

Laura Livesey's avatar

The ending brought tears to me eyes. I absolutely loved this. Thank you. The richness of intergenerational friendships has always motivated me to stay open to finding "my people" unexpectedly - simply based on a shared mindset of growth, exploration, openness, play and adventuring in the day to day!!

Alexandra Blond's avatar

I'm lucky enough to have found a friend in my mother-in-law. I'm 67, she's turning 90 next month. Still very sharp, she is no longer physically able to go on the shopping trips we so much enjoyed in the early years of my marriage. I'm grateful to have her, still, in our lives. Her love and wisdom are to be found nowhere else.

A Girl Named Boo's avatar

Im a big fan of my MIL too, who is bravely getting divorced after 40 years of marriage. Thank you for your inspiring comment!

Ruth Pennebaker's avatar

How wonderful to read an essay that's so warm and life-affirming in the midst of such a difficult and ugly election. Thank you, Chris, for writing this and, Sari, for making this community possible.

Leslie Senevey's avatar

My Dorothy is Nelda. I call her my bonus mom and my kids’ bonus grandma. We met as neighbors more than 25 years ago and clicked like soul sisters despite our two different generations. Since my mom died almost two years ago, I find myself even more grateful for Nelda. I’m so glad we found each other.

Sari Botton's avatar

I love this. <3

Nelda's avatar

Wow. I’m Dorothy for my younger friend Gia. She recently told me she love me and am like her older sister (she lost her mom when she was young) who is guiding her in this world. My name is Nelda (family calls me by my middle name Renae). 💖✨

Judy Davidson's avatar

This was a wonderful piece. I'm retired and go to the Y almost everyday for some kind of exercise. I can't believe the friendships I've made among women my age and older. It's such a privilege to be able to be part of this wider circle of experience. Thank you for sharing this experience. Judy

Patty Asaad's avatar

I love having older women in my life. Their wisdom and outlook bring me peace. Your story made me love Dorothy too.

Meridee Thompson's avatar

Yes!

Sally Doran's avatar

A strong friendship bond can be made with people you might not connect with if you don’t stay open to possibilities. I recently wrote about finding friends who inspire me that are decades older and younger than I am. We should remain “inspirable.”

Sari Botton's avatar

I love intergenerational friendships. <3

Amy Allen's avatar

I loved reading this essay and all the comments from folks who cherish their intergenerational friendships. It gives me hope. This is what living a rich and meaningful life is all about.

Monica P.'s avatar

This friendship between Chris and Dorothy was beautiful. I’m 73 and I have friendships with women, some who are almost half my age. I see it as such a blessing and credit it with keeping me young in spirit. I enjoy not acting my age.

Meridee Thompson's avatar

Such a wonderful write! I am looking forward to lunch tomorrow, our monthly first Tuesday either at a restaurant or someone's home to potluck with other YMCA "Mermaids". Some older, some younger. It is so comforting to have friends older than you are to show you the way to live and enjoy life in your later years. Don't deny yourself the pleasure of knowing people from other generations. Young and old.

Lynn Stewart's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful story. I'm 61 and met my good friend Brenda (in her early 80's) when she gave Mah Jongg lessons in our community. We play most Monday afternoons. It's a blessing.

Elizabeth Marro's avatar

As I read this, I kept thinking what I've been thinking after every loss I've had: love needs a place to go. I'm glad the leftover love you had found Dorothy and Dorothy's found you. To friendships that cut across borders and ages straight to the heart.

Chris J. Rice's avatar

Yes. Love needs a place to go.

Rachel Bucci's avatar

Just beautiful 💗