13 Comments
Sep 7, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Pearl Gregor

Just watched a wonderful film tribute a friend and her family made for her mother's 90th birthday. A review of her whole life, and a legacy and gift for generations to come.

I just wrote a loving letter of goodbye to my 97-year old mom who is still kicking, but not for long.

I would love to see us all get much better at doing the 'living eulogies', the goodbyes, the appreciation well before the end. Most ends don't give time or space for this essential work, and are hijacked by an over-medicalised rejection of death.

Let's learn to express love and appreciation for lives well lived. And hopefully that helps us prepare for a full 4th Quarter embrace of the life that remains.

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Sep 7, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

I love this. Every year on the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, when we are in a way rehearsing for our own death, I compose my own eulogy--both the good and bad. It's a way of keeping what I like and figuring out how to live better. I have given the prompt to my students of writing their own eulogy. It can be scary but the results are always moving. How special that your family knows you so well and is inspired by your life. I'm sure the next 21 years will be equally inspiring.

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Very inspiring and has motivated me to start on my own path in later life to reach a previously unfulfilled potential. 'Pearl's of Wisdom' - Thank you!!

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Sep 8, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

I love this, plain and simple. May it be very premature indeed.

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Absolutely loved this! What a wonderful new-to-me tradition, the epitome of giving folks their flowers while they can still enjoy them. Also, thanks to this essay, I learned the term "eldering." Thank you. May you celebrate many more birthdays in good health, happiness and surrounded by loved ones!

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Sep 7, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

This is fantastic! A beautiful newfound tradition. Congrats on your diamond birthday and many happy returns! (from a fellow crone)

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This was wonderful and ought to become a ritual. I have always hated that people are not alive to hear themselves eulogized. All those things should be said to the living.

You should be, and I am sure are, very proud of your family!

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Sep 7, 2022Liked by Sari Botton

“I always feel better after coming to visit grandma.” What a wonderful tribute to how you decided to live your life. Here’s to many more years well-lived!

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Great celebration idea and so inspiring to learn of another woman, like my own mother, who continues to reinvent herself. Bravo!

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My mom turned 80 early in 2021, before vaccinations were a thing. She was so depressed about not being able to celebrate in person. We organized a Zoom call with the family and dearest friends. I provided screen shots of how to raise hands and one by one, everyone spoke lovingly about my Mom--how they know her, what having her in their life has meant to them. For weeks after, she couldn’t stop talking about how this experience was even better than a birthday party. She felt as if she knew what people would say about her at her funeral and found comfort in that. There is definitely an advantage to eulogizing the living. Thanks for sharing your experience, Pearl.

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How totally inspirering! A true family .. A tribe connected in love, acceptance, honor !! I applaud you and your inheritors .. May you all live long and prosper😉 .. As if that need be said!! Happy futures from one proud Crone to another

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I think I’m a little in love with you, Pearl. What a gorgeous, inspiring second half you are living! And what a beautiful family you stand at the head of.

When I was in ninth grade in an experiential education program we had a tradition on birthdays: the birthday person would sit in the middle of the circle and each person would take turns sitting across from them in the center, holding their hands, and telling them what we appreciated about them. It was a lot to ask of 14-15 year olds, but we did it, without fail, every time.

We all deserve that kind of birthday celebration.

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This is so beautiful, thank you for sharing

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