Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
I’m still amazed at the magic of Ancestry and DNA! I found my biological father at 55, which still astounds me at 65! Thank you for sharing this; feeling at peace knowing I’m not the only one with a story like this.
I was the surprise for my half sister ... I’m adopted ... product of an illicit affair of her father ... the cliché trucker meets waitress at a truck stop diner ... 🤦🏻♀️ But I truly love that she has embraced me and helped find some closure and info on my dna history!
In the early 70s my best friend in high school grew up being told she was adopted by the conservative parents who were part of a cultish Christian college. Her mom had passed, and she claimed physical abuse by her dad. Come to find out… this ‘respectable’ professor had impregnated a waitress a hundred miles down the road and she was the result. Can you imagine those adoption negotiations? What it did to the wife?
She was a troubled soul all of her life, constantly falling in with dangerous groups who further abused her, and finally passed from cancer.
They say “the truth hurts” but I could never decide which was worse; that or the Big Lie. Our parents actually dated briefly and we were both horrified!
I am unable whatsoever to trust anyone who makes a show of their piety.
Time and again, it’s a shattered false front.
I’m so glad your outcome was so different! Love is precious and arrives in surprising ways!
Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
I was the keeper/researcher of the family history and genealogy for decades. The great gift of meeting family as adults is that you get to meet each other without all the childhood labels and stories attached. You just get to be who you are.
Thank you for this interesting piece! My mother died with dementia still stringing sentences about ancestry and her quest to find a cousin lost in Russia (generations earlier). Then a woman in LA who had immigrated 25 yrs before did her DNA and discovered a match with my uncle. She’d descended from this lost cousin who had been lost behind the iron curtain, explaining the family mystery. My mother left a loft full of her art and a thick volume of her genealogy research. This cousin visited as i cleaned out my mother’s space and she found family pictures in that volume that she also had. She also turned out to be an art dealer. (All of this was more than my own memoir could handle...) Finally, as another oldster northern Vermonter, I’d appreciate knowing the exact coordinates of this maple creamy stand. Thank you.
Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
My two siblings did 23 And Me and one day they both got a message from a woman who shared 27% and 22% DNA respectively. Our parents got married "late" for those post-WWII days, in grad school on the GI Bill. We had joked for years about an older half-sibling showing up on our doorstep...so it was not all that big a shock. Jackie had never known who her real father was, having been raised by a man sheʻd believed was her father and the story only crumbled when her parents passed away. Itʻs been 7 years, we all are texting this Christmas Day. And much like in your story, there were these strange synchronicities, a shared sense of humor, along with many unanswered questions - enough to imagine at least three different versions of the novel!
Dec 27, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
Thank you for this story. Through the magic of DNA I also discovered a half-sister. for the first time in my life, I was able to see a photo of my father. I now have a whole new family that has embraced me.
Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
Thank you. How gracefully written given the anxieties this journey must have generated. And what a wonderful reward for your efforts. But a new, or for that matter, old sibling is always a blessing? I’m not so sure about that.
Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
It’s a great combination. And they don’t always click into place. Thank you for “following” me. There’s nothing I’m afraid to follow. And I find the thought of “a following” embarrassing. But there is my book “Men as Friends” and though targeted to men, women seem to like it as well. I aspire to your gracefulness. Maybe I should follow you. 😳
Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
Having another sibling--who wants to be a sibling--is wonderful! I can see how it also is intimidating since it does open one up to the sometimes painful, messy experiences of being in a relationship with another human. Still, I think y’all all got lucky. I love my siblings!
Dec 25, 2023·edited Dec 25, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
One of my uncles - inspired by Alex Haley's " ROOTS " & possibly the mini - series that sprang from it, did a thorough, in - depth, no - stone - unturned look at our geneaology, BOTH / ALL SIDES of our family, developing a veritable ENCYCLOPEDIA & I can't remember WHAT he / we came away with or if it was anything concrete. This was before Ancestry, 23 & Me, etc. although we do have a general idea of where we come from ( Anglo - Irish, German, French, some Portuguese, Splashes of Cherokee, maybe Russian ).
What an interesting story, and so brave of you to go ahead and meet with Colleen.
I had surprising DNA results. Not that I know anything about DNA but I read on the Ancestry site that "many things can cause surprising ethnicity results. Most have to do with the way DNA is passed down. You may not have inherited certain DNA because DNA inheritance is random, so you don't inherit 50% of your parents' ethnicities. At most, only half of someone’s DNA can be passed down beyond your parents, the amount of DNA you inherit from ancestors is not necessarily 25% from each grandparent, 12.5% from each great-grandparent, and so forth."
Yes, contrary to how we viewed heredity in the past (at least I did). We all get different slices of the DNA pie. It's such an interesting dynamic how the gene blueprint plays itself out.
What a wonderful story. I love the way we know the author's thoughts as she tells what actually happened. I could relate to those thought processes if that happened to me. I think I should look at my ancestry tree more closely.
Dec 29, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
"While we didn’t have a shared history, maybe we had something better — a new history." Love this in particular. And really the whole story, these wonderful reunions never get old.
Dec 28, 2023Liked by Sari Botton, Eileen Bader Williams
Thank you Eileen and Sari. I appreciate this beautiful story and the conflicting emotions behind it. As you say Eileen, the curveballs we get thrown don't end because we reach a certain age! How wonderful when the unexpected comes in the form of a wonderful person you happen to be related to.
So many interesting stories out there. The maple creemee stand is Devyn's on Rt. 78 on Hog Island!
I’m still amazed at the magic of Ancestry and DNA! I found my biological father at 55, which still astounds me at 65! Thank you for sharing this; feeling at peace knowing I’m not the only one with a story like this.
Every life is a story. A story being written, ending, beginning, footnotes, etc. Or a musical composition ( which I know little about..... ).
I was the surprise for my half sister ... I’m adopted ... product of an illicit affair of her father ... the cliché trucker meets waitress at a truck stop diner ... 🤦🏻♀️ But I truly love that she has embraced me and helped find some closure and info on my dna history!
I love this.
Me too!
In the early 70s my best friend in high school grew up being told she was adopted by the conservative parents who were part of a cultish Christian college. Her mom had passed, and she claimed physical abuse by her dad. Come to find out… this ‘respectable’ professor had impregnated a waitress a hundred miles down the road and she was the result. Can you imagine those adoption negotiations? What it did to the wife?
She was a troubled soul all of her life, constantly falling in with dangerous groups who further abused her, and finally passed from cancer.
They say “the truth hurts” but I could never decide which was worse; that or the Big Lie. Our parents actually dated briefly and we were both horrified!
I am unable whatsoever to trust anyone who makes a show of their piety.
Time and again, it’s a shattered false front.
I’m so glad your outcome was so different! Love is precious and arrives in surprising ways!
I was the keeper/researcher of the family history and genealogy for decades. The great gift of meeting family as adults is that you get to meet each other without all the childhood labels and stories attached. You just get to be who you are.
Thank you for this interesting piece! My mother died with dementia still stringing sentences about ancestry and her quest to find a cousin lost in Russia (generations earlier). Then a woman in LA who had immigrated 25 yrs before did her DNA and discovered a match with my uncle. She’d descended from this lost cousin who had been lost behind the iron curtain, explaining the family mystery. My mother left a loft full of her art and a thick volume of her genealogy research. This cousin visited as i cleaned out my mother’s space and she found family pictures in that volume that she also had. She also turned out to be an art dealer. (All of this was more than my own memoir could handle...) Finally, as another oldster northern Vermonter, I’d appreciate knowing the exact coordinates of this maple creamy stand. Thank you.
" creamy ". Is that like an egg cream ? I'd like to try one of those.
I misspelled it there. Creemee is New England for soft serve.
Yep! We called it soft serve at the Jersey Shore.
A soft serve by any other name..... & you know the rest ! Merry Christmas / Xmas or happy Hanukkah.
My two siblings did 23 And Me and one day they both got a message from a woman who shared 27% and 22% DNA respectively. Our parents got married "late" for those post-WWII days, in grad school on the GI Bill. We had joked for years about an older half-sibling showing up on our doorstep...so it was not all that big a shock. Jackie had never known who her real father was, having been raised by a man sheʻd believed was her father and the story only crumbled when her parents passed away. Itʻs been 7 years, we all are texting this Christmas Day. And much like in your story, there were these strange synchronicities, a shared sense of humor, along with many unanswered questions - enough to imagine at least three different versions of the novel!
Lovely.
Thank you for this story. Through the magic of DNA I also discovered a half-sister. for the first time in my life, I was able to see a photo of my father. I now have a whole new family that has embraced me.
❤️
Thank you. How gracefully written given the anxieties this journey must have generated. And what a wonderful reward for your efforts. But a new, or for that matter, old sibling is always a blessing? I’m not so sure about that.
I think it was timing - and luck, and a some maturity. That's the wonderful thing about being an Oldster.
It’s a great combination. And they don’t always click into place. Thank you for “following” me. There’s nothing I’m afraid to follow. And I find the thought of “a following” embarrassing. But there is my book “Men as Friends” and though targeted to men, women seem to like it as well. I aspire to your gracefulness. Maybe I should follow you. 😳
I might not be worth following. LOL. This was my first post. However, I am writing a 2nd memoir. I'll look for your book if it's on Amazon!
Yes it is. What’s the name of your first? Perhaps my second should be “Women as Friends”. But if “you wanna take this outside buddy” my email is:
irwinepstein@icloud.com.
I’ve posted a couple of pieces on Oldster which I find very congenial but Substack is not my Uber.
,
I'm an oldster - old enough to know better, too young to care. & I LIKE most Salsa, Rap, Dubstep & even Swedish Death Metal at 65 + !
Having another sibling--who wants to be a sibling--is wonderful! I can see how it also is intimidating since it does open one up to the sometimes painful, messy experiences of being in a relationship with another human. Still, I think y’all all got lucky. I love my siblings!
As someone said to me, "A new sibling is a blessing!"
Truly! So enjoyed your story, Eileen!
My step - sister is FANTASTIC. She supposedly beat cancer !
One of my uncles - inspired by Alex Haley's " ROOTS " & possibly the mini - series that sprang from it, did a thorough, in - depth, no - stone - unturned look at our geneaology, BOTH / ALL SIDES of our family, developing a veritable ENCYCLOPEDIA & I can't remember WHAT he / we came away with or if it was anything concrete. This was before Ancestry, 23 & Me, etc. although we do have a general idea of where we come from ( Anglo - Irish, German, French, some Portuguese, Splashes of Cherokee, maybe Russian ).
You came out on the winning end, I'd say.
What an interesting story, and so brave of you to go ahead and meet with Colleen.
I had surprising DNA results. Not that I know anything about DNA but I read on the Ancestry site that "many things can cause surprising ethnicity results. Most have to do with the way DNA is passed down. You may not have inherited certain DNA because DNA inheritance is random, so you don't inherit 50% of your parents' ethnicities. At most, only half of someone’s DNA can be passed down beyond your parents, the amount of DNA you inherit from ancestors is not necessarily 25% from each grandparent, 12.5% from each great-grandparent, and so forth."
Yes, contrary to how we viewed heredity in the past (at least I did). We all get different slices of the DNA pie. It's such an interesting dynamic how the gene blueprint plays itself out.
I agree!
Beautiful story - you have a wonderful family.
Thank you for this subtle, beautiful piece of writing. I can’t even imagine what this situation would feel like!
What a wonderful story. I love the way we know the author's thoughts as she tells what actually happened. I could relate to those thought processes if that happened to me. I think I should look at my ancestry tree more closely.
"While we didn’t have a shared history, maybe we had something better — a new history." Love this in particular. And really the whole story, these wonderful reunions never get old.
Thank you Eileen and Sari. I appreciate this beautiful story and the conflicting emotions behind it. As you say Eileen, the curveballs we get thrown don't end because we reach a certain age! How wonderful when the unexpected comes in the form of a wonderful person you happen to be related to.