my mother had one too!! it seemed so elegant to me as a child! (no memories of her ever wearing it, yet it was one of the hardest things to give away, because my inner child remembered loving it)
Both my mother AND my grandmother had a bed jacket. They wore them in the hospital after giving birth. When I found my mom's I realized I'd never seen in her in bed, being waited upon, ever.
@Lois Lowry - taking the opportunity here to thank you for creating an iconic character with my unusual last name. That name means cold barely soup and I’m sure in the old country someone thought it was curative. Sadly, I’m not a fan.
My husband brings me “fastidiously brewed coffee” in bed and I sip while reading my morning Substacks and do the crossword puzzle . It’s a lovely way to start the day, especially when the Substacks are this good! (And it’s the only food/beverage other than water I allow in the bed - because ew.) Thank you for such a delightful first read today.
for one, I’ve been staying with my mom while she’s sick, and have thought - wouldn’t a bed table be helpful?!
I have one in my closet at home, bought a number of years ago when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. In case he was home, as he always liked a lot of devices, magazines and books at the ready. Alas he became hospital-ill, not-coming-home-ill, and that bed tray put away.
And even as I write this I realize that particular (Ikea, plastic, useful & inexpensive) probably needs to be given away and replaced with one less tied to memory.
And yes, memories of being home as a child, really the rare time when we got our mother’s attention as well as the “special” flannel sheet with roses. One elementary school year I was out most of the winter, colds cascading to pneumonia etc etc, and that drifting between reading books and watching trashy tv (we otherwise had a strict daily allowance of tv) and sleeping… well, it was hard to return to the loud, boring life in the classroom!
for me a bed tray appeals for holding books and papers out of the scrum of sheets, maybe a mug of tea - but yes, not food…
My twenty something kids call them lap desks and use them to put their laptops on while being in bed watching shows. I made the mistake of calling them bed trays and they looked at me like I was insane
I have a great bed tray I bought like 25 years ago from Sur La Table and have used maybe 2x a year if that. I got more use out of it as a makeshift little table when babysitting nieces and nephews (who need to eat surprisingly frequently!) setting them up on the rug to watch cartoons (please don't judge, Sponge Bob Square Pants is hilarious and endearing.). I myself never eat in bed unless you count a chip or two pilfered from my hubby. Mostly because I am super clumsy and know in my heart my pretty little tray would slide off and I would end up with not so pretty coffee and croissant sheets. Sigh.
I wonder if those of us born after 1965 lack understanding about bed trays because our moms were, more often than not, at work. It was the other side of being a latchkey kid-- if I was sick, starting in first grade when I was also deemed old enough to walk to and from school by myself and let myself in the house in the afternoon, my mother would set me up on the couch with the tv and some beverage and leave for work with vague promises to come home at lunch to check on me if she could and admonishments to "Stay put."
Bed trays, for me anyway, represented a thing that rich kids would have because their dads were lawyers and doctors and their moms could afford to stay home.
Yes, that's it, exactly. My mom stayed home until I was 12, at which point I became latchkey kid. The year 1965 was not chosen arbitrarily and I think the piece makes clear that I consider myself very lucky to have the childhood I did.
It is also the case that in the shortlist of absolute requirements if I'm ever going to be partnered again is enthusiasm for bringing me coffee in bed in the morning. But just on weekends.
Oh you are so right! Same here. There was a distinct before and after. We actually preferred the latch key privacy: forbidden TV! Well until she caught us… because the TUBES were still warm! Early 60s.
As a very little one, I once interrupted the Ladies with “oh my Mom works: she makes bread from scratch”. Peals of laughter and I benefited from that burst for YEARS! (Mom was a performative martyr, making sure we knew how very much work it was, all the time. Kinda ruined it.)
I was forced to move over two years ago. The bed tray (flat folded) was put on the top of tall kitchen cupboards by a tall helper. I’d need a ladder to get it! But for what? It brings sad memories of my caring being cruelly rejected anyway. Out of sight - out of mind, at least. That’s going to Goodwill on the next regular run.
Oldster can be SO PRACTICAL! Shining a light on yet another of my silly foibles sitting around. Begone, bad juju!
But I do love the fact that I have ended up with our special childhood sick day comforter (a well-named object). It’s in pretty good shape for something seven decades old. Puffy filled cotton, printed with toile roses, it still gives me ‘I’m special today’ vibes just to look at it now. One of Mom’s best ideas! It wasn’t handy for the last post-surgical period; pity. Modern apartments don’t have linen closets any more, so it was packed away for 13 years.
When it gets cold again, I’m going to use it all the time. Why not, who doesn’t need some insto-presto comforting these days? And I don’t have to be sick to enjoy it any more either. 🌹
Delightful. In my childhood, the sick bed was the pull out couch in the den. Television, saltines, and Coke indeed! I was allowed to sip the Coke, and had to ask my Mama before taking each sip. Divine.
What a charming piece!! It brought back memories of staying home from school sick and guessing prices of things I was too young to purchase (I loved Bob Barker with his skinny microphone.) I rooted for contestants on “Press Your Luck” and wished “no whammies” I couldn’t wait to hear Chuck Woolery ask racy questions on “Love Connection.” I never owned a TV tray and now I want one. Thank you for writing this lovely piece.
After years of teaching, I got used to a lap desk. Not made for eating, but for grading the endless piles of student papers. Now, I have a king sized bed and I put lovely bamboo trays all over the bed. One for breakfast, one for the laptop, one full of books. It's my idea of heaven on a Saturday morning.
I have been teaching online for the last 5 years, and I use a newfangled (yes, I said it) tray that is adjustable to support my laptop. It helped for working through chemo and the pandemic. My dog likes to sit on my lap while I work as well. So my new table is askew.
Ditto no food in the bedroom. I have nightmares about finding crusty dishes in my stepdaughters' bedrooms (among other horrors). The very real threat of mice has us being very careful. My childhood illness food was also saltines and Coke or 7-up - depending on the type of illness. That and Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup.
Pardon me, it feels rude to say but I think that "disgusting" is a harsh word masking your bed tray lust, and the need to give into it. As you seem like someone who washes their sheets enough, fastidious...go for it? "People, not things!" is something I've heard interior designers say, but for those of us without the former, or when they're not around like in your case, let the thing nurture you.
I left out the part where I admitted to my therapist that no one's ever going to bring me breakfast in bed unless I start cohabitating with a farmer. I get up before sunrise. So maybe my revulsion is really rooted in my knowledge that I'm a spinster. JK, I love being a single old lady.
I registered for bed trays when I got married (why? Who knows). They are a neutral wood finish with collapsible legs and have never been used in the 30 years we’ve been married. They still might have the gift receipt taped to the box, in the storage space under our stairs, in the basement. I honestly think my daughter, who would love nothing more than to spend the day in her bed, will love them as a housewarming present when she moves out. Come to think of it, I should have pulled them out when I left food outside her room when she had COVID. Oh well.
If the lucite tray is flat on the bottom (not high like the ones you have pictured), put it to use to hold decorative objects on a coffee table, or somewhere in your office.
We are also a no drinking or eating in bedrooms household, except when sick.
Just for the record, there is also a thing (my mother had one) called a…wait for it….BED JACKET
LOIS LOWRY. (Faints.)
That’s the coolest thing about substack. You never know who’s reading you! Delightful
my mother had one too!! it seemed so elegant to me as a child! (no memories of her ever wearing it, yet it was one of the hardest things to give away, because my inner child remembered loving it)
Both my mother AND my grandmother had a bed jacket. They wore them in the hospital after giving birth. When I found my mom's I realized I'd never seen in her in bed, being waited upon, ever.
this
@Lois Lowry - taking the opportunity here to thank you for creating an iconic character with my unusual last name. That name means cold barely soup and I’m sure in the old country someone thought it was curative. Sadly, I’m not a fan.
My mother still has one!
My husband brings me “fastidiously brewed coffee” in bed and I sip while reading my morning Substacks and do the crossword puzzle . It’s a lovely way to start the day, especially when the Substacks are this good! (And it’s the only food/beverage other than water I allow in the bed - because ew.) Thank you for such a delightful first read today.
oh! this resonates.
for one, I’ve been staying with my mom while she’s sick, and have thought - wouldn’t a bed table be helpful?!
I have one in my closet at home, bought a number of years ago when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. In case he was home, as he always liked a lot of devices, magazines and books at the ready. Alas he became hospital-ill, not-coming-home-ill, and that bed tray put away.
And even as I write this I realize that particular (Ikea, plastic, useful & inexpensive) probably needs to be given away and replaced with one less tied to memory.
And yes, memories of being home as a child, really the rare time when we got our mother’s attention as well as the “special” flannel sheet with roses. One elementary school year I was out most of the winter, colds cascading to pneumonia etc etc, and that drifting between reading books and watching trashy tv (we otherwise had a strict daily allowance of tv) and sleeping… well, it was hard to return to the loud, boring life in the classroom!
for me a bed tray appeals for holding books and papers out of the scrum of sheets, maybe a mug of tea - but yes, not food…
So, like, a bed-desk.
haha yes!
My twenty something kids call them lap desks and use them to put their laptops on while being in bed watching shows. I made the mistake of calling them bed trays and they looked at me like I was insane
I have a great bed tray I bought like 25 years ago from Sur La Table and have used maybe 2x a year if that. I got more use out of it as a makeshift little table when babysitting nieces and nephews (who need to eat surprisingly frequently!) setting them up on the rug to watch cartoons (please don't judge, Sponge Bob Square Pants is hilarious and endearing.). I myself never eat in bed unless you count a chip or two pilfered from my hubby. Mostly because I am super clumsy and know in my heart my pretty little tray would slide off and I would end up with not so pretty coffee and croissant sheets. Sigh.
Cartoons and yummy food on the rug are exactly the privileges you get as "Fun Auntie"!! It sounds like they adore you
I wonder if those of us born after 1965 lack understanding about bed trays because our moms were, more often than not, at work. It was the other side of being a latchkey kid-- if I was sick, starting in first grade when I was also deemed old enough to walk to and from school by myself and let myself in the house in the afternoon, my mother would set me up on the couch with the tv and some beverage and leave for work with vague promises to come home at lunch to check on me if she could and admonishments to "Stay put."
Bed trays, for me anyway, represented a thing that rich kids would have because their dads were lawyers and doctors and their moms could afford to stay home.
Yes, that's it, exactly. My mom stayed home until I was 12, at which point I became latchkey kid. The year 1965 was not chosen arbitrarily and I think the piece makes clear that I consider myself very lucky to have the childhood I did.
It absolutely does.
Yes, they feel aspirational.
It is also the case that in the shortlist of absolute requirements if I'm ever going to be partnered again is enthusiasm for bringing me coffee in bed in the morning. But just on weekends.
Good criteria.
Oh you are so right! Same here. There was a distinct before and after. We actually preferred the latch key privacy: forbidden TV! Well until she caught us… because the TUBES were still warm! Early 60s.
As a very little one, I once interrupted the Ladies with “oh my Mom works: she makes bread from scratch”. Peals of laughter and I benefited from that burst for YEARS! (Mom was a performative martyr, making sure we knew how very much work it was, all the time. Kinda ruined it.)
"Baby's first Stanwyck" just killed me.
A SEMINAL moment in my childhood. Also I revisited The Big Valley not that long ago and it is wonderfully bonkers.
😂
Busted.
I was forced to move over two years ago. The bed tray (flat folded) was put on the top of tall kitchen cupboards by a tall helper. I’d need a ladder to get it! But for what? It brings sad memories of my caring being cruelly rejected anyway. Out of sight - out of mind, at least. That’s going to Goodwill on the next regular run.
Oldster can be SO PRACTICAL! Shining a light on yet another of my silly foibles sitting around. Begone, bad juju!
But I do love the fact that I have ended up with our special childhood sick day comforter (a well-named object). It’s in pretty good shape for something seven decades old. Puffy filled cotton, printed with toile roses, it still gives me ‘I’m special today’ vibes just to look at it now. One of Mom’s best ideas! It wasn’t handy for the last post-surgical period; pity. Modern apartments don’t have linen closets any more, so it was packed away for 13 years.
When it gets cold again, I’m going to use it all the time. Why not, who doesn’t need some insto-presto comforting these days? And I don’t have to be sick to enjoy it any more either. 🌹
Delightful. In my childhood, the sick bed was the pull out couch in the den. Television, saltines, and Coke indeed! I was allowed to sip the Coke, and had to ask my Mama before taking each sip. Divine.
I loved the white noise of the humidifier.
With the Vicks Vaporub in it. 💨
I don’t just love but I actually adore this! Really enjoyable read. 😊
What a charming piece!! It brought back memories of staying home from school sick and guessing prices of things I was too young to purchase (I loved Bob Barker with his skinny microphone.) I rooted for contestants on “Press Your Luck” and wished “no whammies” I couldn’t wait to hear Chuck Woolery ask racy questions on “Love Connection.” I never owned a TV tray and now I want one. Thank you for writing this lovely piece.
After years of teaching, I got used to a lap desk. Not made for eating, but for grading the endless piles of student papers. Now, I have a king sized bed and I put lovely bamboo trays all over the bed. One for breakfast, one for the laptop, one full of books. It's my idea of heaven on a Saturday morning.
I have been teaching online for the last 5 years, and I use a newfangled (yes, I said it) tray that is adjustable to support my laptop. It helped for working through chemo and the pandemic. My dog likes to sit on my lap while I work as well. So my new table is askew.
Ditto no food in the bedroom. I have nightmares about finding crusty dishes in my stepdaughters' bedrooms (among other horrors). The very real threat of mice has us being very careful. My childhood illness food was also saltines and Coke or 7-up - depending on the type of illness. That and Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup.
Pardon me, it feels rude to say but I think that "disgusting" is a harsh word masking your bed tray lust, and the need to give into it. As you seem like someone who washes their sheets enough, fastidious...go for it? "People, not things!" is something I've heard interior designers say, but for those of us without the former, or when they're not around like in your case, let the thing nurture you.
I left out the part where I admitted to my therapist that no one's ever going to bring me breakfast in bed unless I start cohabitating with a farmer. I get up before sunrise. So maybe my revulsion is really rooted in my knowledge that I'm a spinster. JK, I love being a single old lady.
D'oh. Early riser (like my mother Tess Sr and her revulsion for naps and daytime TV, but did love breakfast in bed), we love that for you!!
I registered for bed trays when I got married (why? Who knows). They are a neutral wood finish with collapsible legs and have never been used in the 30 years we’ve been married. They still might have the gift receipt taped to the box, in the storage space under our stairs, in the basement. I honestly think my daughter, who would love nothing more than to spend the day in her bed, will love them as a housewarming present when she moves out. Come to think of it, I should have pulled them out when I left food outside her room when she had COVID. Oh well.
If the lucite tray is flat on the bottom (not high like the ones you have pictured), put it to use to hold decorative objects on a coffee table, or somewhere in your office.
We are also a no drinking or eating in bedrooms household, except when sick.
I love this. I use one to write in bed! I tried to put a coffee on it when I first got it but it made me too nervous.