One of the unheralded joys of getting older for women is that the loss of estrogen leads to a near complete loss of the body hair that accompanied puberty. I'll take the win.
totally relating to this all the way through. Each year I stop shaving in the winter and as spring springs I see how long I can go before I cave again. Is it caving? Or is it choice? How deep patriarchal programming. Or do I like the aesthetics? Is it possible to even know at this point? And then that last line hit me in the gut and I was crying. I can't believe our girls are fighting the same shit we were. It just breaks my heart.
In England school uniform for girls is skirts and I’ve spent the last few days spiralling about not only the opportunity cost for girls because of this (not being able to run and jump or break out into a spontaneous sports game etc) but also the danger of teenagers having to walk bare legged or with sheer tights to school, through the dangerous streets of adult predators. Also because of these things girls have to become objects from such a young age, because of the oppression of impractical and revealing clothing and have to face body image insecurity and all of the shaving and tanning from as young as 11. Also, it is SO cold in a skirt, so impractical for our climate and tights are so so uncomfortable.
I remember when my daughter decided it was time to start shaving. She was so proud of her shaved legs. She'd hold them out to me over and over again and ask me to "feel how smooth," or "feel how much I need to shave." It was a rite of passage for her, but into what, exactly? A lifetime of altering her body to conform to sexist standards? It's such a hard thing to negotiate as a parent and a whole new perspective on our misogynist culture when you see your child experiencing it.
I loved this- it really resonated. My daughter is 17 and she chose not to shave. If hair doesn’t grow in thicker, then maybe I should stop.
The way she is treated/objectified by the outside world - the gazing world- is not okay- it is no better than I was treated at her age - it is beyond frustrating
For some reason I’ve always liked shaving my calves. I don’t bother in winter but I like the smoothness of my skin. My friends and I used to travel from Brooklyn all the way to the upper west side of Manhattan just to get our legs waxed by Russian aestheticians (one of my favorite words). Maybe it was the ritual/adventure of that exercise and how grown up we felt doing it that has made me so fond of my smooth legs, but my teenage daughter and trans son have both shamed me for the practice. They both like their hairy legs and call me brainwashed. I’m sure I am. But here we are. Daughters of the 70s. Still fighting for rights and respect. I appreciate being older and this thread for clarifying that at this point I don’t shave for anyone’s pleasure but my own.
I have often wondered how having clean shaven armpits and legs became the gold standard for beauty…and don’t get me started on shaven nether parts. The best thing about getting old has been no longer growing hair under the arms and on the legs (although I feel certain this is the result of type 2 diabetes more than age). However, I do battle every day with a Fu Manchu mustache and some stray chin hairs which I attack with a Venus razor.
Women's shaving in modern times began as a united effort by the women's fashion industry, the women's magazine industry, and the shaving products industry (which, obviously, was trying to expand its market.) As fashion began showing more skin than had been the case in the 19th century, women were propagandized that shaving the newly exposed underarms and legs was more "hygienic" than letting natural hair grow. Shaving the pubic area came later, influenced by pornography. Some have claimed that a shaved pubis and men's desire for it may be a more or less subconscious pedophilic desire, as pubic hair is a sign of sexual maturity. In any case, the population of women with a nearly monolithic devotion to bodily shaving is basically English-speaking Caucasian women. Women of color and non-English-speaking Caucasian women tend to take a more individual approach to the matter.
Loved this! Thank you! I'm 63 and going to the mountains for a few days with friends. I'll have to don a bathing suit for the hot tub. On my to do list, I've written in block letters: SHAVE LEGS! (I'm a little scared to at this point).
Great essay. My mother bought into the "grows back thicker" wives' tale. So I secretly shaved my legs with my father's electric shaver that he used for his face. I ruined it, but started using my own razor soon after.
One of the unheralded joys of getting older for women is that the loss of estrogen leads to a near complete loss of the body hair that accompanied puberty. I'll take the win.
totally relating to this all the way through. Each year I stop shaving in the winter and as spring springs I see how long I can go before I cave again. Is it caving? Or is it choice? How deep patriarchal programming. Or do I like the aesthetics? Is it possible to even know at this point? And then that last line hit me in the gut and I was crying. I can't believe our girls are fighting the same shit we were. It just breaks my heart.
Fuck. You said it best.
In England school uniform for girls is skirts and I’ve spent the last few days spiralling about not only the opportunity cost for girls because of this (not being able to run and jump or break out into a spontaneous sports game etc) but also the danger of teenagers having to walk bare legged or with sheer tights to school, through the dangerous streets of adult predators. Also because of these things girls have to become objects from such a young age, because of the oppression of impractical and revealing clothing and have to face body image insecurity and all of the shaving and tanning from as young as 11. Also, it is SO cold in a skirt, so impractical for our climate and tights are so so uncomfortable.
Why skirts anymore? Why?
I remember when my daughter decided it was time to start shaving. She was so proud of her shaved legs. She'd hold them out to me over and over again and ask me to "feel how smooth," or "feel how much I need to shave." It was a rite of passage for her, but into what, exactly? A lifetime of altering her body to conform to sexist standards? It's such a hard thing to negotiate as a parent and a whole new perspective on our misogynist culture when you see your child experiencing it.
I loved this- it really resonated. My daughter is 17 and she chose not to shave. If hair doesn’t grow in thicker, then maybe I should stop.
The way she is treated/objectified by the outside world - the gazing world- is not okay- it is no better than I was treated at her age - it is beyond frustrating
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!
For some reason I’ve always liked shaving my calves. I don’t bother in winter but I like the smoothness of my skin. My friends and I used to travel from Brooklyn all the way to the upper west side of Manhattan just to get our legs waxed by Russian aestheticians (one of my favorite words). Maybe it was the ritual/adventure of that exercise and how grown up we felt doing it that has made me so fond of my smooth legs, but my teenage daughter and trans son have both shamed me for the practice. They both like their hairy legs and call me brainwashed. I’m sure I am. But here we are. Daughters of the 70s. Still fighting for rights and respect. I appreciate being older and this thread for clarifying that at this point I don’t shave for anyone’s pleasure but my own.
I have often wondered how having clean shaven armpits and legs became the gold standard for beauty…and don’t get me started on shaven nether parts. The best thing about getting old has been no longer growing hair under the arms and on the legs (although I feel certain this is the result of type 2 diabetes more than age). However, I do battle every day with a Fu Manchu mustache and some stray chin hairs which I attack with a Venus razor.
"Yay, me, I have performed self-deprecating womanhood, do you like me now? " Brilliant.
My favorite part about this piece was being n ice to the pedicure specialists. It is a small gesture but in some cases avoids injury. I applaud you.
Women's shaving in modern times began as a united effort by the women's fashion industry, the women's magazine industry, and the shaving products industry (which, obviously, was trying to expand its market.) As fashion began showing more skin than had been the case in the 19th century, women were propagandized that shaving the newly exposed underarms and legs was more "hygienic" than letting natural hair grow. Shaving the pubic area came later, influenced by pornography. Some have claimed that a shaved pubis and men's desire for it may be a more or less subconscious pedophilic desire, as pubic hair is a sign of sexual maturity. In any case, the population of women with a nearly monolithic devotion to bodily shaving is basically English-speaking Caucasian women. Women of color and non-English-speaking Caucasian women tend to take a more individual approach to the matter.
I do it to maintain maximum aerodynamics waist down.
Love this! I remember the Flicker. Still optimistic that the world will be better for your daughter (even if things seem a little dire at the moment).
You care for her and teach her, you are giving her a better world.
Loved this! Thank you! I'm 63 and going to the mountains for a few days with friends. I'll have to don a bathing suit for the hot tub. On my to do list, I've written in block letters: SHAVE LEGS! (I'm a little scared to at this point).
Great essay. My mother bought into the "grows back thicker" wives' tale. So I secretly shaved my legs with my father's electric shaver that he used for his face. I ruined it, but started using my own razor soon after.