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Amalia Melis's avatar

I love the fierceness in your writing.

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Mary Lehn's avatar

Beautiful piece, Meredith! Hair has been meaningful in my life, too!

In the late 70’s and early 80’s hair was one way punks found each other. I remember my first show and being floored by the variability and creativity- Mohawks and triple Mohawks and hair spikes and every color of the rainbow! It shocked and delighted my teenaged self, driven home by sound that raised my heart rate for the first time!

At underground gothic clubs I fell in love with brooding music and jewel toned velvets and long black hair…and sometimes - with blue-green hair, or white, or deep garnet fire. I loved my own rose red hair, my deep crayon purple hair. (My dad threatened to shave my head but didn’t.) I loved my long white wig. My long black wig. My various hair pins and jewels.

In the Nineties I expressed appreciation for 40’s glamour with glossy black curls, rolls, waves, snoods and flowers. Updos, with fabulous hats. I never fell out of love with that- I’m so glad I got pictures.

Same as you, Meredith, I have loved experiencing the hair of my lovers. The softness and fullness of it. The differences in texture. God save me from hairspray and hair gel. (Whyyy!!!!) The feel of my hand sliding up their nape and splaying to rub the soft stands between my fingers…to massage their scalp and feel them relax. My fingers closing with a gentle twist to bring them in for a kiss.

Hair is connection. You’re only allowed to touch the hair of your closest family and intimates. Dyeing my moms silky fine hair as she aged. I wish i could do it again. Combing and cutting my dads grey strands, which allows me to touch him with care. This is a man I had to teach hello and goodbye hugs and how to say “I love you, too.”

I have LOVED seeing bright unnatural hair colors come back and be done with such flair and beauty!!! It has made me want to put color in my own again, like an old dog that wants to romp with the puppies! D

The thing I didn’t expect was hair loss, which is more common in women than I ever knew. Covid and stress and perhaps all that boxed black hair dye in the middle years! Now I’m trying to treat what I have with loving respect. To buy better product or have it done for me. To lay off the severe pony tails. To consider whether I am too young to let the gray come and stay. (If I did- the bright colors would really show! )

I’m glad my hair is still something I get to play with and that how I choose to as I age continues to be a form of artistic expression.

Thank you for this thoughtful piece, weaving hair into your personal journey of growing up to become yourself. You’ve hit on something. I bet this could be a collaborative book with people sharing pics of them and their hair at various points, explaining what it meant and why it mattered. :)

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