For Better and For Worse #1: Patti Pagliei and John Simpson

What makes a long relationship work? The authors of "The Way of Wonder" on writing together, co-running their jewelry company "Waxing Poetic," and facing down life's challenges as a committed duo.

This is the first in a new Oldster Magazine series called “For Better and For Worse.” It features essays and interviews with couples who have been together a long time, in which they reveal what has worked for their relationship, even in the face of life’s challenges and obstacles. While I know that couplehood isn’t for everyone nor the only way to live, and that it is over-privileged in our culture, I’m interested in how partners navigate their relationships over time. Check out the whole series. -Sari

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Readers,

Over the summer I was excited to hear from Patti Pagliei—co-CEO with her husband, John Simpson, of Waxing Poetic, a jewelry company that specializes in inspirational pieces—about possibly collaborating on some trinkets. The timing felt fortuitous: I had been daydreaming about an Oldster nameplate necklace, and now, someone who could make it was dropping me a line, unsolicited.

Patti Pagliei and John Simpson, who co-wrote The Way of Wonder, co-run Waxing Poetic jewelry, and co-write the Substack newsletter “Here Today.”

I’d heard of Waxing Poetic, and had admired the “Beauty Hunter” medallion the company had made inspired by the work of my friend and colleague, Jennifer Pastiloff, author of On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard.

When we spoke, Pagliei told me about other jewelry pieces and bookmarks the company had made, inspired by the work of Patti Smith, and (Oldster Questionnaire taker) Cheryl Strayed, among others, and I was sold. (Pagliei sent me a sample Oldster nameplate necklace a month ago, and I haven’t taken it off since.) We’re going to go forward with them, and you can preorder them now.

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Pagliei also told me about The Way of Wonder: Invitations and Simple Practices for a Vibrant Life, the new book of poems, essays, and more that she and Simpson co-authored to inspire readers to live more intentionally and in the moment, as they’ve learned to, and their substack newsletter,

Here Today

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Order the book.

After Pagliei and I talked a while, we realized that we’re both in long, happy marriages, and began comparing notes about them, and what we thought made them work so well. Pagliei and Simpson have been married twenty years, together twenty-two. They live together, work together, and are raising their daughter together. They’ve also faced serious hardships—Pagliei’s breast cancer, their daughter’s brain surgeries, and losing their home more than once, to name a few. Those hardships led them to shift their perspectives and, ultimately, to write the book.

I invited Pagliei and Simpson to be the first pair in this new interview series. In this video, we talk about the joys and sorrows they’ve encountered over more than two decades, how they’ve managed to come through hard times together, and how those experiences led them to co-author a book of inspirational writings.

I hope you enjoy the interview. Here it is:

-Sari