Sari, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. And Rachelle, I was in your shoes when I was in my 40s. Coming eyeball to eyeball with my mortality was sobering and scary—as well as strangely empowering. That was almost 20 years ago…and my short telomeres and I got to take my son to college, see him graduate, marry, and become a father. I envision the same for you.
Thank you for this piece. Sari, Oldster has been such a gift as I navigate the aging process myself, as the child of aging parents, and as an always grieving sibling to my sister who did not get to age past 51. Rachelle, you get to make this journey in the way that fits you best and it seems that you are navigating it with truth and humor. 💜
Ms. Bergstein, I'm happy you're still here. You are beautiful, and with those gorgeous, big eyes and sweet smile, I'm sure you'll be able to pull off old age with panache.
As a soon to be 70 who plans on another 30 years of living (at least 🤔) I can say you have the correct attitude. I also have had thoughts of doing a little this or that nothing to drastic & never have but if I choose to actually have some especially at 70 so be it. I get concerned with all the youngers who's plastic's are out of control, it seems to be never ending. If they have the honor of making it to their higher numbers I often ask myself what will they really like having changed & done so much already. To be honest I feel it also an honor to set an example for them for what the beauty of true aging & the real beautiful that it is. One thing I do know though is that beauty is subjective but without having the true beauty from within no matter what one does to themselves physically it doesn't & won't radiate. G d bless you & healing 🙏's on your cancer journey. You already have the beauty within & winning attitudes to have the honor of aging with grace, gracefully. The true meaning & blessing's in life are the inward journey not the outer appearances. Enjoyed your piece thank you I'm going to give you a silent blink acknowledgement on my 70th. Age is a matter of mind, if you don't mind it it doesn't matter, like fine wine ages to perfection. The only other thing I would say is always stay young of heart & soul. Beauty is as beauty does.
such a beautiful piece, and a timely reminder that this might be our last day, last week, last month and to be a little more thoughtful about those leaves whirling down, the rushshush of the rain, the first smell of snow. it's all we may get, so love it up!
Rachelle -- what a lovely, moving piece. Like Leslie, I also had breast cancer. I was 45 and had a bilateral mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and tamoxifen. Like you, I also had young children whom I feared I'd never see grow up. Twenty-nine years later, I've been to their high school and college graduations and their weddings. I'm now a grandmother of four. I hope you will have the same great good fortune I've had.
By the way, when I was diagnosed in 1995, my social psychologist husband and I had a running bet about which of the two of us would get the most publications out of my experience (I'm a writer). I won big-time. Much love and good health to you, Ruth
Aging is a privilege we often discount. Humor is a helper. But best of all is a “partner-carer” with whom you can share humor and deep sadness. Also a privilege for you both. Thank you for your story.
Sari, it was a great, brave gesture to feature this. It is important to be there fully at every age and to support people who were sideswiped by life and have mastered living on. This is a wonderful writer, Rachelle Bergstein, and I appreciate you highlighting her life/work/struggles. I'm sorry about your friend, a big ouchie.
I'm sure you've heard this before - but you look fantastic with that cropped do! Congratulations on getting through all that treatment so far and all the best for the next few months! That wrinkly you is waiting :)
Thank you for sharing your story and your voice, Rachelle! So engaging and, as someone very close to your age, I appreciate your hard-won wisdom. And wish I could see what it looked like when you pouffed out your clown hair for your family. ❤️
A brave piece indeed on the part of both author and editor. I’m 77 and a half, still going strong after three years of treatment when I was in my early 50s with a then-deadlier breast cancer of two types. It came back a couple of years and treatment was successful until it caused heart failure. But I’m still hiking, enjoying grandchildren and my family and friends and a new career. Who knows what will send me over the horizon — heart failure , metastasized cancer — or a bus that doesn’t see me stepping off the curb! I’m happy and realistic and living with two “chronic” diseases and I don’t care when I’m living on delightfully borrowed time. Medical knowledge is galloping toward sophisticated solutions for what were once automatic death sentence diagnoses, Rachelle, and you’re going to continue to benefit from them as you live through middle and old age. Just watch out for those buses!
You're bold and brave and honest and self-aware. You deserve to live all the way to adventure I call old age. Me? I'm about to turn ninety-two. I've all but lost my mobility, have been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, am losing my manual dexterity, and all but one of my local friends have cashed in their chips. But for me the long adventure called life remains worthwhile. So keep packing in the memories so that you can draw from them the way I get to do. I loved your post here. In fact I'm inspired by it to keep on trackin' with my walker now that my truckin days are behind me. Thanks for writing this post.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sari. I love your newsletter and I’m sorry you keep having to add that disclaimer at the top—the wide age ranges are lovely to see regardless of whether they are near my age or not. Thank you for your work.
Sari, Re your forward about us elders giving you grief about young contributors: I say you get to define aging any way you want. We all do. In putting together the pieces in Aging: An Apprenticeship I acted on my intuition that aging itself looks and feels different at different life stages.
That's an awesome essay. Best of luck that you're not just moving your son into college, but moving him out and to so many other things many, many years in the future.
Sari, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. And Rachelle, I was in your shoes when I was in my 40s. Coming eyeball to eyeball with my mortality was sobering and scary—as well as strangely empowering. That was almost 20 years ago…and my short telomeres and I got to take my son to college, see him graduate, marry, and become a father. I envision the same for you.
How inspiring. Thank you. <3
This makes me so happy, thank you.
You’ve done everything you possibly can! It took me a bit to “go enjoy my life,” as my oncologist told me to do. 😊
Sari and Rachelle,
Thank you for this piece. Sari, Oldster has been such a gift as I navigate the aging process myself, as the child of aging parents, and as an always grieving sibling to my sister who did not get to age past 51. Rachelle, you get to make this journey in the way that fits you best and it seems that you are navigating it with truth and humor. 💜
Thank you for the kind words, Karen. I think so often of Nikki and you and your family. <3
Sari, I am sorry for your loss.
Ms. Bergstein, I'm happy you're still here. You are beautiful, and with those gorgeous, big eyes and sweet smile, I'm sure you'll be able to pull off old age with panache.
You are so kind, thank you.
<3
As a soon to be 70 who plans on another 30 years of living (at least 🤔) I can say you have the correct attitude. I also have had thoughts of doing a little this or that nothing to drastic & never have but if I choose to actually have some especially at 70 so be it. I get concerned with all the youngers who's plastic's are out of control, it seems to be never ending. If they have the honor of making it to their higher numbers I often ask myself what will they really like having changed & done so much already. To be honest I feel it also an honor to set an example for them for what the beauty of true aging & the real beautiful that it is. One thing I do know though is that beauty is subjective but without having the true beauty from within no matter what one does to themselves physically it doesn't & won't radiate. G d bless you & healing 🙏's on your cancer journey. You already have the beauty within & winning attitudes to have the honor of aging with grace, gracefully. The true meaning & blessing's in life are the inward journey not the outer appearances. Enjoyed your piece thank you I'm going to give you a silent blink acknowledgement on my 70th. Age is a matter of mind, if you don't mind it it doesn't matter, like fine wine ages to perfection. The only other thing I would say is always stay young of heart & soul. Beauty is as beauty does.
I love that "matter of mind" quote! Thank you!
💞
Lovely. Thank you.
Typo - What will they really look like
such a beautiful piece, and a timely reminder that this might be our last day, last week, last month and to be a little more thoughtful about those leaves whirling down, the rushshush of the rain, the first smell of snow. it's all we may get, so love it up!
Rachelle -- what a lovely, moving piece. Like Leslie, I also had breast cancer. I was 45 and had a bilateral mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and tamoxifen. Like you, I also had young children whom I feared I'd never see grow up. Twenty-nine years later, I've been to their high school and college graduations and their weddings. I'm now a grandmother of four. I hope you will have the same great good fortune I've had.
By the way, when I was diagnosed in 1995, my social psychologist husband and I had a running bet about which of the two of us would get the most publications out of my experience (I'm a writer). I won big-time. Much love and good health to you, Ruth
29 years later — I love that. Thank you for sharing. And yes, publications do soften the blow! ;)
Love this, Ruth. Congrats on winning the contest!
Aging is a privilege we often discount. Humor is a helper. But best of all is a “partner-carer” with whom you can share humor and deep sadness. Also a privilege for you both. Thank you for your story.
<3
Sari, it was a great, brave gesture to feature this. It is important to be there fully at every age and to support people who were sideswiped by life and have mastered living on. This is a wonderful writer, Rachelle Bergstein, and I appreciate you highlighting her life/work/struggles. I'm sorry about your friend, a big ouchie.
Thank you, Judy. <3
I'm sure you've heard this before - but you look fantastic with that cropped do! Congratulations on getting through all that treatment so far and all the best for the next few months! That wrinkly you is waiting :)
Thank you for sharing your story and your voice, Rachelle! So engaging and, as someone very close to your age, I appreciate your hard-won wisdom. And wish I could see what it looked like when you pouffed out your clown hair for your family. ❤️
Ha! I wish I could forget it ;)
A brave piece indeed on the part of both author and editor. I’m 77 and a half, still going strong after three years of treatment when I was in my early 50s with a then-deadlier breast cancer of two types. It came back a couple of years and treatment was successful until it caused heart failure. But I’m still hiking, enjoying grandchildren and my family and friends and a new career. Who knows what will send me over the horizon — heart failure , metastasized cancer — or a bus that doesn’t see me stepping off the curb! I’m happy and realistic and living with two “chronic” diseases and I don’t care when I’m living on delightfully borrowed time. Medical knowledge is galloping toward sophisticated solutions for what were once automatic death sentence diagnoses, Rachelle, and you’re going to continue to benefit from them as you live through middle and old age. Just watch out for those buses!
Such helpful perspective! Thank you, Ellen.
You're bold and brave and honest and self-aware. You deserve to live all the way to adventure I call old age. Me? I'm about to turn ninety-two. I've all but lost my mobility, have been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, am losing my manual dexterity, and all but one of my local friends have cashed in their chips. But for me the long adventure called life remains worthwhile. So keep packing in the memories so that you can draw from them the way I get to do. I loved your post here. In fact I'm inspired by it to keep on trackin' with my walker now that my truckin days are behind me. Thanks for writing this post.
Truly honored that this piece touched you with all of your life experience, Paul. Thank you.
💕
Often times one does not think enough about life until a threat. I hope many many more days of beautiful life for Rachelle and her family.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Sari. I love your newsletter and I’m sorry you keep having to add that disclaimer at the top—the wide age ranges are lovely to see regardless of whether they are near my age or not. Thank you for your work.
Thank you, Jennifer. 💕
Sari, Re your forward about us elders giving you grief about young contributors: I say you get to define aging any way you want. We all do. In putting together the pieces in Aging: An Apprenticeship I acted on my intuition that aging itself looks and feels different at different life stages.
Thank you, Nan!!!
That's an awesome essay. Best of luck that you're not just moving your son into college, but moving him out and to so many other things many, many years in the future.