As he sells the Jersey Shore cottage he shared with his late wife Fran, Irwin Epstein recalls their time together there, and the mutual love of surf and sand that drew them to the place.
I really appreciated how Irwin swung back and forth between the past and the more recent past and the present. I'd dare to suggest that the cottage may be sold but it will never be gone from the Irwin and Fran special story.
What a lovely and poignant story. I so appreciate Irwin having the courage and strength to share it. If he extends this into a memoir please let us know. Thank you!
Guess what Michelle! I’m already on it. And while this is not a day I feel like pitching, if you like my way of memoir writing you ‘d probably like my book. Many women do.
Thank you Sue. Today is not a day to pitch but you might like my book as well. It’s targeted to men but women like it too. That openness also made me persona non grata at the school where I taught for 35 years. It’s risky but it’s true.
A lovely piece of writing; thank you Irwin! Your self-awareness, mixed in with your grief, are so illuminating. You made improvements to the cottage… but you weren’t sure why. I miss Fran too, after reading this.
I almost skipped this one for fear it would be a sappy take on the movie by the same name. So glad I didn’t. What a beautiful ode to a lifelong relationship of pure love. Thank you Irwin. What an inspiring and heartfelt read.
Sorry about that Lisa. It didn’t even occur to me. I guess I repressed the movie. Glad you didn’t let it prevent you from dipping your toes in the water again.
Use it now. It’s the cradle of life-a nursery for the oceans. They must be protected. Every chemical you use on your lawn washes into it. Hebden Cove in Virginia Beach where I lived in the 60’s is now a dead zone and a scary green color. No crabs, no oysters. Time for The Lorax to speak for all of it!!!
Thank you. You reminded me of watching little crabs moving sideways to return to the surf. I’m sure that’s a lesson for life but I can’t figure out what it is.
Ghost crabs…, also fiddler crabs in the estuaries of the Chesapeake Bay in Virginia. So many memories…, the meaning for me in my 67th years is how to save what is fast disappearing.
Amy. I share your concerns. I worry too. But I have no lawn. I live in NYC For me, using it would be pretentious and phoney. Another form of pollution.
Hi Irwin. I'm shaking with sobs and joy reading your remarkable essay. And recognition, having written my own debut memoir (And Always One More Time) about the death of my first husband and marriage to the tenderhearted TCNJ professor who loved me back to life. I just forwarded your essay to this tenderhearted professor, now 83 and lying in a hospital bed, having had another brush with mortality but, we pray and expect, is dodging this bullet for now. I gave up ocean swimming and beaches for him, a Colorado boy who prefers mountains and horses to seagulls and sand fleas. However, my kids are planning a "destination" 75th birthday party for me in Asbury Park for next May. Wish I had picked Ocean Grove. Your story is heart-wrenching. Just like life.
Oh Peggy. Thank you so much. You of all people know how hard this all is and how much strength it takes to be both strong when you need to be and vulnerable at the same time. And please send my best to that tenderhearted and honest professor. There aren’t that many of us. My memoir has made me persona non grata at the school in NYC in which I taught for 35 years but it had a fantastic launch at the Faculty Club at the University of Melbourne. Could I make this shit up?
Always good to hear from Irwin, and this one broadens the story we knew of his dear Fran. Thank you for a sweet delight of a story, even with the sadness of letting go. Blessings to you, Irwin, and I hope you find the perfect buyer for that adorable cottage. May the love live on!
Thank you Jeanne. It’s always nice to hear from you.
I did find an immediate buyer. And like Fran, she said, “I love it, we’ll take it—as is.” The closing was on a Friday and she and her bf moved in that weekend. We’ve never met but I asked our broker to pass on this to her so she knows more about its history and carries that forward. Nothing makes me happier. 🙏🏻🪷
Oh, Irwin, PERFECT to send this piece to the cottage buyer. That will mean so much to them, and they can honor Fran's memory as they make their own memories there. I love it.
Thanks to those who noticed and mentioned the typo. I apologize. (I'm doing a lot.) I have fixed it.
I really appreciated how Irwin swung back and forth between the past and the more recent past and the present. I'd dare to suggest that the cottage may be sold but it will never be gone from the Irwin and Fran special story.
Thank you Marcia. I asked our broker to share it with the new owners so they have a sense of the provenance. That feels important to me. Dare to dare.
Thank you, Irwin, for this beautiful tribute to Fran and to your marriage.
What a lovely and poignant story. I so appreciate Irwin having the courage and strength to share it. If he extends this into a memoir please let us know. Thank you!
Guess what Michelle! I’m already on it. And while this is not a day I feel like pitching, if you like my way of memoir writing you ‘d probably like my book. Many women do.
Such a tender and well-told story. It's brave to write so openly about very personal things.
Fran sounds larger-than-life amazing. Lucky to meet <3
Thank you Sue. Today is not a day to pitch but you might like my book as well. It’s targeted to men but women like it too. That openness also made me persona non grata at the school where I taught for 35 years. It’s risky but it’s true.
Becoming a persona non grata can be a laudable achievement if pursued at a stultifying fossilized institution.
I have to believe that some crabs really do escape the bucket!
I don’t take pride in that Ali. In fact, I find it extremely sad. Crabs have very small brains, no minds, and heartless hearts.
I have also worked with those types. Its absolutely amazing to be too old to get stuck working with saboteurs.
I now embrace being persona au gratin. 🧀
This is superb writing. Thank you.
Thank you Edward. This is not a day to pitch but I think you’d like my book.
Irwin what a wonderful story of love and devotion, especially that you had 32 years together.
🙏🏻🪷
I can understand why you both fell in love with each other.
A lovely piece of writing; thank you Irwin! Your self-awareness, mixed in with your grief, are so illuminating. You made improvements to the cottage… but you weren’t sure why. I miss Fran too, after reading this.
I love that Debbie. I loved her so and still want others to. I’m starting another memoir about Fran, me and cancer. Stay tooned.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
So good to hear from you again. What an incredible love story!
🙏🏻🪷
Got me crying first thing in the morning!! What a beautiful story.
Me too!🤷🏼♂️ so I wont apologize.
❤️❤️❤️
I almost skipped this one for fear it would be a sappy take on the movie by the same name. So glad I didn’t. What a beautiful ode to a lifelong relationship of pure love. Thank you Irwin. What an inspiring and heartfelt read.
Sorry about that Lisa. It didn’t even occur to me. I guess I repressed the movie. Glad you didn’t let it prevent you from dipping your toes in the water again.
Lovely ❤️💔
I spent summers as a young girl with my Grandmother in her sweet cottage in Lavalette.
The water was so clean and I remember picking up horseshoe crabs. What a magical time. I’m glad you have those memories with your beloved as well.
And “estuaries” is such a lovely word I never got to use. But how nice for you.
Use it now. It’s the cradle of life-a nursery for the oceans. They must be protected. Every chemical you use on your lawn washes into it. Hebden Cove in Virginia Beach where I lived in the 60’s is now a dead zone and a scary green color. No crabs, no oysters. Time for The Lorax to speak for all of it!!!
Thank you. You reminded me of watching little crabs moving sideways to return to the surf. I’m sure that’s a lesson for life but I can’t figure out what it is.
🤷🏼♂️🙏🏻🪷
Ghost crabs…, also fiddler crabs in the estuaries of the Chesapeake Bay in Virginia. So many memories…, the meaning for me in my 67th years is how to save what is fast disappearing.
Amy. I share your concerns. I worry too. But I have no lawn. I live in NYC For me, using it would be pretentious and phoney. Another form of pollution.
Hi Irwin. I'm shaking with sobs and joy reading your remarkable essay. And recognition, having written my own debut memoir (And Always One More Time) about the death of my first husband and marriage to the tenderhearted TCNJ professor who loved me back to life. I just forwarded your essay to this tenderhearted professor, now 83 and lying in a hospital bed, having had another brush with mortality but, we pray and expect, is dodging this bullet for now. I gave up ocean swimming and beaches for him, a Colorado boy who prefers mountains and horses to seagulls and sand fleas. However, my kids are planning a "destination" 75th birthday party for me in Asbury Park for next May. Wish I had picked Ocean Grove. Your story is heart-wrenching. Just like life.
Oh Peggy. Thank you so much. You of all people know how hard this all is and how much strength it takes to be both strong when you need to be and vulnerable at the same time. And please send my best to that tenderhearted and honest professor. There aren’t that many of us. My memoir has made me persona non grata at the school in NYC in which I taught for 35 years but it had a fantastic launch at the Faculty Club at the University of Melbourne. Could I make this shit up?
Have a great 75th. 💐
Always good to hear from Irwin, and this one broadens the story we knew of his dear Fran. Thank you for a sweet delight of a story, even with the sadness of letting go. Blessings to you, Irwin, and I hope you find the perfect buyer for that adorable cottage. May the love live on!
Thank you Jeanne. It’s always nice to hear from you.
I did find an immediate buyer. And like Fran, she said, “I love it, we’ll take it—as is.” The closing was on a Friday and she and her bf moved in that weekend. We’ve never met but I asked our broker to pass on this to her so she knows more about its history and carries that forward. Nothing makes me happier. 🙏🏻🪷
Oh, Irwin, PERFECT to send this piece to the cottage buyer. That will mean so much to them, and they can honor Fran's memory as they make their own memories there. I love it.