37 Comments
Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

“ I thought about a life lived inside a net of insults and how it’s not a fit subject because all lives are lived inside the insult of having to end.” oh man. That’s really beautiful. Let’s fuck it all up.

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Ha!

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I am disgusted with the condescending attitude towards older women (or people, to be fair). Why is it cute to be old? Why is it adorable to insist that you deserve respect? I rage with you.

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Dec 23, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

I agree. I work at a hospital and the older women patients are described as “cute”. Sad to say I’ve done it myself and I am not youngl

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Dec 16, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

I love your writing. It is superbly delicate and harsh, self effacing and protective. Descriptive in ways so surprising in your use of language. You use metaphors never imagined. I look for them gleefully. Sometimes it is difficult to finish a story, because I look for these metaphors like Hirschfeld NINA's. You go deep and come up for air. Just when I feel your vanity is too much, you hit me with candor and I feel, yeah maybe she doesn't think she's all that or she's had some deep sadness and profound loss. I'm hooked.

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

What gets me is all the "honeys," generally from waitresses and supermarket checkers. These moments generate a deadly combo of revulsion and class anxiety.

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You know, insults are at the core of every form of bigotry. I think it's better to err on the side of saying don't tread on me than worry about causing another form of offense. Anyway, only women really worry about saying, "stop treating me like shit."

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Laurie Stone

Great piece with shrewd analysis, I think you are right that "only women" really worry about being treated that way. I don't know about other men, but my experience is different from yours and other women my age and older. The older I get, the more respect I seem to get from strangers. I am treated better now than I was in my late teens, twenties and early thirties. Maybe other men have different experiences? I can only speak for myself, but my belief is that this is a problem more for older woman and it's based on sexism.

P.S. I always used to look forward to seeing your byline in The Voice starting from when I was a messenger for their display advertising department in the mid-70s.

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So nice to hear!

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I appreciate your point about insults. I've gotten a lot better at telling people I know to not tread on me....But I find with strangers it feels like a line has been drawn that's difficult to cross. There's a lot of context involved that's hard to slice through from the other side of that line.

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Dec 15, 2022·edited Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

Brilliant writing! My favorite part: “Heartwarming chucks under the chins of older women for their pluck and gumption”

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It should read: chucks under the chins of older women . . .

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Yes sorry for the weird typo! just edited

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*Loooove this so much! I have been contemplating lately how age is the last acceptable bias. Laurie illuminates the intersectionality of femaleness in a deeply vulnerable way that strikes me as personal to the author and to this reader. I mean, this line ... "If you are a female human—and many other kinds of human—your life is a trail of insults that leads to someone telling you what you can eat."

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Thanks! All best, Laurie

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

So good, Laurie!

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Thanks! xxL

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I have known Laurie since she was a tadpole and she has gotten more and more beautiful with age. So happy to see her here!

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So happy we were able to swim together in those early ponds. The pic is so well lit by the bathroom light! That’s why I couldn’t resist snapping the pics. ❤️❤️❤️

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

I really loved this one. Hit the spot today

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

“Even though another broken compass is mapping directions for my life.” Love this. Is it from POSTCARDS?

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I wrote this for Oldster. Best, Laurie Stone

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Dec 18, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

I have stopped being silent. I admit, sometimes, I leave people twisting in the wind to interpret my comeback, "How trite and insignificant". I am 61 and damned proud of it. I wear what I want to wear, and say what I want to say (I do like to put peace out into the world, but peaceful does not mean I lay myself down for others to walk on or over). As my therapist said, "Damn Mary, you are kicking ass and taking names".

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Laurie Stone

One of my favorite novels, Moon Tiger by Penelope Lively, opens with a scene where a sleeping elderly woman in a nursing home overhears the staff talking about her: "Was she someone, once?"

The net of insults just expands until we die. Apparently.

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

Stunning writing, Laurie! So thought-provoking -- really enjoyed this to start my day.

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Thanks so much. It’s interesting thinking about these feelings and topics in conjunction with Oldster. Context situates you, makes you feel in the right room to speak. It’s a very valuable endeavor. Cheers to Sari Botton for conceiving it.

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Dec 15, 2022Liked by Sari Botton, Laurie Stone

Loved your piece, so sharp an arrow from a tender human heart. And appreciate your insight about this valuable context for hearing/sharing these stories/perspectives.

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Many thanks!

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<3 <3 <3

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Your pierce is powerful and full of a kind of understanding I don’t have, yet. I hope to. And an underlying burn that I admire. Thank you!

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Thanks for your response. Very appreciated.

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Dec 24, 2022Liked by Laurie Stone

All I can say is WOW!

So, so true.

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By the way, I have a stack. Please check it out.

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Thanks so much!

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“If you are a female human—and many other kinds of human—your life is a trail of insults that leads to someone telling you what you can eat.” ❤️❤️❤️

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