What's It Like?: Revising Your Entire Life at 60, Because of a Pandemic
Fashion designer Aplana Bawa started off her new decade by making big life changes she’d never anticipated.
This is a new Oldster Magazine series called “What’s It Like?” in which contributors write posts about just one or two aspects of being their age, or respond to just one question from The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire. Here, Alpana Bawa, a fashion designer known for the brightly colored clothing line bearing her name, responds. - Sari Botton
“We never thought we would be 60…” Just a few weeks before my 60th birthday, I discussed hitting this big marker with a friend whom I’ve known since we were in our 20’s. Luckily aging is kind to me, as it has been happening slowly. But once in a while, when I look at an image from twenty or forty years ago, it seems unbelievable.
When my hair started to gray in my late 30s, I was too busy, lazy, and poor to dye it. However in the winter, because I would cover it with a hat, suddenly many more people would start to pay attention. I remember clearly when I first noticed this phenomenon. It made me smile.
Everything changed drastically in 2020 because of Covid 19. I had to close my retail store of thirty-five years, where I earned 99% of my income. I was paying both shop and apartment rent in Nolita, with no income and no hopes of things getting back to normal.
As a young person I lacked the confidence to appreciate my beauty and vitality, which was a shame. Although I had a lot of fun, wish I had taken a bit more advantage of my youth. I started my own business and worked too hard.
Everything changed drastically in 2020 because of Covid 19. I had to close my retail store of thirty-five years, where I earned 99% of my income. I was paying both shop and apartment rent in Nolita, with no income and no hopes of things getting back to normal. I wasn’t able to negotiate a reasonable rent discount with the landlords or find anyone to sublet the space. So by end August 2020 I redid my website and gave up everything in the city. In the fall, my husband and I moved full time to a1800s fixer-upper in the woods, the renovation of which is an endless project.
For over three decades I ran a shop and learned from listening and talking to people. Now I converse with nature, and listen as it speaks to me.
For the first time in my life, I wasn’t living in a big city. Now I live on a mountain ridge full of beauty, wild animals, trees, spring water, cliffs, a creek. I’m learning to be with nature.
Winters are hard, and at times I find myself looking at the endless snow and frigid temperatures, and feeling a bit trapped. Spring upstate is teeming with life. It’s amazing—any rock I turn has something growing under it. The sweet-scented warm breeze of summer is delicious. Fall of course is spectacular with all its colors, though it makes me a bit melancholic, as I can not forget the more difficult season that comes next.
For over three decades I ran a shop and learned from listening and talking to people. Now I converse with nature, and listen as it speaks to me. Why are trees dying in one spot? Because there is a leak in the underground pipe. Why is there stilt grass everywhere? I have to mow it down.
I love the rocks—have been digging out some rather large ones, rolling them when they are too big to carry. I have a created a small rock garden around an old well.
Over the years I took some informal driving lessons from friends, but since I never owned a car, I never got to practice. So now, at age 60, I have to get my husband to agree to give me a ride for everything or anything!
What is most challenging about my new life upstate is not knowing how to drive. I’ve always lived in big cities, where driving wasn’t necessary. Over the years I took some informal driving lessons from friends, but since I never owned a car, I never got to practice. So now, at age 60, I have to get my husband to agree to give me a ride for everything or anything! It’s very frustrating to not be able to make independent plans.
A friend gave us an old beat up truck, and another gave me a few lessons. I got my learner’s permit, but sadly my husband gets carsick with my erratic handling of the steering.
I am hoping that I will find a professional teacher in the spring and master this. Then, whenever I want, I can pick up my wallet and go, and explore, and get lost.
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Yes, I, too, never learned to drive legally and hope to learn by 60! Same reason: city-based life! I have no regrets, but I’ll never be able to live in the forest or visit Alpana by myself! But maybe I’ll come with a friend! Ive known Alpana for 20+ years! It’s been wonderful having her in my life, even though our upstate-downstate trajectories have been inverse! Her clothes were my favorites when I arrived back in NYC from Europe in the 00s: I consider them feminist. I love how I feel in them. Miss you, Alpana!
I moved to Dutchess County age 57 pre-pandemic and bought a car for the first time, after living in NYC (Manhattan, then Brooklyn) for 35 years. I remember your shop when it was on E 1st with the painted floor. We should form a club, or start a discord.