This is 94: Author Judith Viorst Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
"Giving up driving has been very hard for me, limiting my freedom and mobility and spontaneity. My adjustment has been finally learning to competently use Uber."
From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”
Here, bestselling author, poet, and journalist Judith Viorst responds. -Sari Botton
Judith Viorst was married for 61 years to late political writer Milton Viorst, with whom she had three sons and seven grandchildren. She is the author of over 40 books for children and adults, including bestsellers Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and Necessary Losses. Her latest book, Making the Best of What’s Left, is out now from Simon & Schuster.
—
How old are you?
94.
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?
No, I feel neither younger nor older than 94, but 94 now feels younger than I’d expected.
I feel neither younger nor older than 94, but 94 now feels younger than I’d expected.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I know some wonderful people my age—vital, loving, curious—and aspire to be in step with them as best I can.
What do you like about being your age?
I’ve happily learned a thing or two and lived a lot!
What is difficult about being your age?
The time-consuming upkeep of the body. Doctors! Doctors! Doctors! Pills! Pills! Pills!
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
How free I am to be who I am and not feel constrained by definitions of “old lady.”
I know some wonderful people my age—vital, loving, curious—and aspire to be in step with them as best I can.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
a) I’m certainly not as dumb as I used to be. b) People I love keep dying.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
An increasing clarity about what’s important.
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?
I have celebrated and been grateful for the loving connections of marriage, motherhood, grandmotherhood, friendship, and the opportunities of a greatly satisfying career. I’ve always appreciated my good fortune and saluted the milestones.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
I was asked this question around the age of 90, when my husband was still alive. My answer was “Right now.”
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
No one person, but several women who, in their 90s, embrace life.
I have celebrated and been grateful for the loving connections of marriage, motherhood, grandmotherhood, friendship, and the opportunities of a greatly satisfying career. I’ve always appreciated my good fortune and saluted the milestones.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
Giving up driving has been very hard for me, limiting my freedom and mobility and spontaneity. My adjustment has been finally learning to competently use Uber.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
Giving up my eyeliner.
What turn of events had the biggest impact on your life? What took your life in a different direction, for better or worse?
Marrying Milton Viorst, my husband of 61 years.
I’ve had a lot of helpful advice, but one of my favorites is, “Be reliable. So what you say you will do.” Not very poetic but I embrace it. “Keep your promises. If you say you’ll be there, be there.”
What is your number one regret in life? If you could do it all over again, what is the biggest thing you’d do differently?
I’d ask my grandmother, my mother and my father, others many more questions about their lives. And listen to them carefully.
What is high up on your “bucket list?” What do you hope to achieve, attain, or plain enjoy before you die?
Get better and better at embracing what I have. Keep doing something, anything I can, to—in however small a way—help fix the world.
Is there a piece of advice you were given, that you live by? If so, what was it, and who offered it to you?
I’ve had a lot of helpful advice, but one of my favorites is, “Be reliable. So what you say you will do.” Not very poetic but I embrace it. “Keep your promises. If you say you’ll be there, be there.”
My friends and I love celebrating birthdays—ours and each other’s, and more than once, and not only on the actual birthday. When someone says they’re sorry they missed my birthday because it’s a month later, I say, “No you didn’t. We can still celebrate.”
What are your plans for your body when you’re done using it? Burial? Cremation? Body Farm? Other? And what do you expect to happen to your “soul” or “spirit” after you die?
I expect to be buried next to my husband, and near two other couples we were close friends with—the ultimate triple date.*
*I don’t believe in life after death.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
My friends and I love celebrating birthdays—ours and each other’s, and more than once, and not only on the actual birthday. When someone says they’re sorry they missed my birthday because it’s a month later, I say, “No you didn’t. We can still celebrate.”
I have admired Judith Viorst for decades and this reminded me why. Another oldster with a great attitude.
I loved this. One line made me laugh out loud: "I expect to be buried next to my husband, and near two other couples we were close friends with—the ultimate triple date."