"My favorite age—amazingly—is right now. I’m in good health, I’m in my own beautiful home, I’m writing (and getting very fine reviews), I’m still driving my own Benz… I’m good to go."
I absolutely agree that women should do what makes them happy. However, when can women wear their life experiences proudly and be seen and honored because they look their age? The other photos are beautiful and seem trustworthy, but to claim “This is 81” is a lie that does nothing but perpetuate youth worship. Just seek out images of real women who are 81 and proud to be authentic. We need fewer lies in our world right now.
Sheila, this is interesting. I had the same response (NOT to unsubscribe, but that the photo was filtered in some way) and then thought that Denise is entitled to whatever representation she likes, and it's up to us, in this particular case—not in those cases, like marketing that are deliberately manipulated to make us buy a product or a procedure—to interpret it as we care to. I keep making the point in my Substack that we never know what people actually look like these days unless we wake up next to them in the morning, so we need to take these representations with a grain of salt. I agree that it can add a bitter taste to what we consume. And I, personally, for the reasons you suggest, never filter my online photos. But I defend Denise's right to do that...IF, in fact she has, which we just don't know.
Gosh, a lot to say here and I do understand your frustration! x
I love how clearly you name the shift from being valued for how you looked to being rooted in your mind and judgment. There’s no bitterness in it, just ownership.
And the way you talk about letting things go, not from resignation but from self-possession, feels like the quiet upside no one tells us about. This reads like someone fully at home in their age.
Woke-up this morning. Picked-up my phone. And when I scrolled to Oldster, saw the face of one of my first childhood crushes. Seeing Denise Nicholas' beautiful face was both a shock and a thrill. However, reading her interview showed me a side of this smart, thoughtful woman that I never knew existed. Thank you Denise and Sari for making my day a happy one.
I love those lines too, Tina. I tell myself that after 75 years, of course I've made mistakes and dumb moves. Living a life of adventure, as I often have, provides more room for mistakes.
I usually skim the Oldster interviews, but this one stopped me in my tracks—I read every word. Denise Nicholas was a role model to my teenage self when she appeared on Room 222. Her character was smart, ambitious, and yes, a real cutie pie. "Liz McIntyre" embodied possibility and aspiration for girls who looked like me, at a time when that kind of reflection was rare and deeply felt.
She has to have wonderful genes to have a mother who was so long lived and to be so vibrant herself at her age. Moisturizers help but good genes, good diet, and exercise help too. What an interesting life she has made for herself.
Thanks, Oldster, for featuring Denise Nicholas. We studied writing together in the 90's with Janet Fitch. While I'm ahead of you, Denise, by a few years, the great joy of my life is continuing to write novels, the first three published after age 80. Keep going; that's my daily plan. Enjoy the heck out of what we have!
I love the concept of "responsibility load" I never liked "emotional load" and think "mental load" doesn't quite cover what some people - mostly womyn - have to carry. This frame works better and I'm borrowing it!. My "responsibility load" quadrupled when my husband became quadriplegic (see what I did there? ;-)) due to a catastrophic accident.
Not to be especially superficial, but who looks like Denise at 81??? I'll have what she's having! x
Right?!
No kidding.
That photo has obviously been doctored (or god forbid her face has been). We older women are smart enough to know that even this column informs
us we cannot look our true age. What a shame. I’m unsubscribing.
Sorry to see you go, although this doesn’t seem fair. You have no idea whether that photo has been manipulated.
I absolutely agree that women should do what makes them happy. However, when can women wear their life experiences proudly and be seen and honored because they look their age? The other photos are beautiful and seem trustworthy, but to claim “This is 81” is a lie that does nothing but perpetuate youth worship. Just seek out images of real women who are 81 and proud to be authentic. We need fewer lies in our world right now.
Sheila, this is interesting. I had the same response (NOT to unsubscribe, but that the photo was filtered in some way) and then thought that Denise is entitled to whatever representation she likes, and it's up to us, in this particular case—not in those cases, like marketing that are deliberately manipulated to make us buy a product or a procedure—to interpret it as we care to. I keep making the point in my Substack that we never know what people actually look like these days unless we wake up next to them in the morning, so we need to take these representations with a grain of salt. I agree that it can add a bitter taste to what we consume. And I, personally, for the reasons you suggest, never filter my online photos. But I defend Denise's right to do that...IF, in fact she has, which we just don't know.
Gosh, a lot to say here and I do understand your frustration! x
I mean for reals.
I love how clearly you name the shift from being valued for how you looked to being rooted in your mind and judgment. There’s no bitterness in it, just ownership.
And the way you talk about letting things go, not from resignation but from self-possession, feels like the quiet upside no one tells us about. This reads like someone fully at home in their age.
Woke-up this morning. Picked-up my phone. And when I scrolled to Oldster, saw the face of one of my first childhood crushes. Seeing Denise Nicholas' beautiful face was both a shock and a thrill. However, reading her interview showed me a side of this smart, thoughtful woman that I never knew existed. Thank you Denise and Sari for making my day a happy one.
Awww, glad to hear, Mike.
"Learning how to let crap go. I own me. I accept my missteps and failures. I no longer beat the hell out of myself for my dumb moves."
I love those lines too, Tina. I tell myself that after 75 years, of course I've made mistakes and dumb moves. Living a life of adventure, as I often have, provides more room for mistakes.
I usually skim the Oldster interviews, but this one stopped me in my tracks—I read every word. Denise Nicholas was a role model to my teenage self when she appeared on Room 222. Her character was smart, ambitious, and yes, a real cutie pie. "Liz McIntyre" embodied possibility and aspiration for girls who looked like me, at a time when that kind of reflection was rare and deeply felt.
She has to have wonderful genes to have a mother who was so long lived and to be so vibrant herself at her age. Moisturizers help but good genes, good diet, and exercise help too. What an interesting life she has made for herself.
This was just lovely to read, the photos are all spectacular, what an icon.
What a lovely, articulate human being! I’m eager to read her books!
This is so moving and inspirational. Beautiful woman, both inside and out.
Thank you Denice. I love the advice your father gave you-don't stay too late at the fair .
Thanks, Oldster, for featuring Denise Nicholas. We studied writing together in the 90's with Janet Fitch. While I'm ahead of you, Denise, by a few years, the great joy of my life is continuing to write novels, the first three published after age 80. Keep going; that's my daily plan. Enjoy the heck out of what we have!
Oh, wow! Small world.
I love the concept of "responsibility load" I never liked "emotional load" and think "mental load" doesn't quite cover what some people - mostly womyn - have to carry. This frame works better and I'm borrowing it!. My "responsibility load" quadrupled when my husband became quadriplegic (see what I did there? ;-)) due to a catastrophic accident.
She looks terrific. She sounds even better. What a glorious life, and still unfolding.
I love this!
In the language of my video game playing sons:" New aging role model level unlocked"!!
It's hard to believe she's 81.