This is 62: Crime Writer Laura Lippman Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

"I thought there would be no significant changes ahead of me after 40. I’m very happy to have been wrong."

From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, bestselling crime writer and essayist Laura Lippman—whose new story collection, Seasonal Work, is out today—responds. - Sari Botton

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Laura Lippman at 62.

How old are you?

62

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think? 

I think I am perpetually 13—self-conscious, geeky, but bizarrely optimistic.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

I think I am super young for my age. Part of this is having a pre-teen daughter at an age when it’s more typical to have a granddaughter. But also—I have a lot of truly young friends. And I feel they have kept me from being the “OK Boomer” kind of boomer.

I believe my legs are the 8th natural wonder and I am going to show them off forever. I know it enrages people, primarily men my age, when I talk about myself with boundless confidence—and that’s why I talk that way.

What do you like about being your age?

I have freakish genetics and I am just really hale and hearty. Sometimes I walk as much as 10 miles in a day. I go to sleep at 9, but I get up at 6, so that’s fair.

Also, getting older allowed me to give in to my life-long love for clothing. I spent literal decades feeling I didn’t deserve to have beautiful clothes. I didn’t have any money, I wasn’t a size 0. Then I got older and I was very (channeling Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback) “No one wants to see that!” But now I delight in clothes, I have turned a little closet alcove off my bedroom into what I call “my chapel,” and each week I post photos of myself to social media in different outfits. Frankly, I believe my legs are the 8th natural wonder and I am going to show them off forever. I know it enrages people, primarily men my age, when I talk about myself with boundless confidence—and that’s why I talk that way.

What is difficult about being your age?

Ageism. But it’s also a plus because after a lifetime in a very privileged body—white, regular-sized—it helped me recognize that privilege and it changed me in profound ways. I get that’s kind of sad—oh, I had to experience bigotry to understand it. But the gap between what we can grasp intellectually versus what we understand viscerally is a big gap. Or so my therapist keeps telling me.

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

When I was a kid, I was super aware that I would turn 41 in the year 2000 and I thought that was not only ancient, but a time at which one became static. I thought there would be no significant changes ahead of me after 40. I’m very happy to have been wrong.

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

Aging brings a melancholy peace—melancholy because one is more aware of mortality. When Stephen Sondheim died in November, at the age of 91, I thought, Well, that’s a good death. He was active, alert, engaged. My mother, age 90, saw it differently.

All it takes away from me is time. Every day, I have one less day, deducted from a total that is unknown to me.

I think I am super young for my age. Part of this is having a pre-teen daughter at an age when it’s more typical to have a granddaughter. But also—I have a lot of truly young friends. And I feel they have kept me from being the “OK Boomer” kind of boomer.

How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?

I’m not sure it has, I’m super delusional.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations?

With a young kid, life is very topsy-turvy. I still have to get her through a bat mitzvah and high school graduation, off to college. It seems unlikely that I’ll be a grandmother, although I made my mom a grandmother at the age of 79, so who knows? I think I’ve foregone a traditional retirement. I could be collecting Social Security right now, but I’m going to wait as long as possible.

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

It’s odd, but I think 62 is my favorite age ever. I found this old video of my daughter when she was a toddler, taking a bath, and she sang this made-up song, “How We Make the Soup,” in which she dumped huge amounts of water on herself, using a toy boat. And the song ended: “We put it on ourselves and our boooooooooooodies. It’s very amusing. And that’s how we make the sooooooooooooooup! And that’s the end of the song.” It’s kind of my watch-cry now. We make the soup. We put it on ourselves and on our bodies. It’s very amusing. And that’s the end of the song.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

My mom and, god, how I pray I got all her genetics in the lottery. 90, living alone, volunteering, gardening, walking on a regular basis. She lives three hours away and calls her two daughters daily, me in the morning and my sister at night. Sometimes, she’s a little tired. That’s it. Sometimes she’s a little tired.

Look, if the zombie apocalypse goes down, I’m going to swing by the home of the esthetician who tints my brows every three to four weeks and take her to the farm where my trainer lives.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

Look, if the zombie apocalypse goes down, I’m going to swing by the home of the esthetician who tints my brows every three to four weeks and take her to the farm where my trainer lives. He can hunt with a bow and arrow, has a generator, goats, chickens. Todd will take care of us all and I’m sure he won’t question my judgment in bringing the esthetician and her family over. He knows self-care is important.

I don’t get my brows tinted to disguise my age, I simply dislike having a huge white expanse of forehead above my eyes, which are very pale and look better with a dark frame between them and my (dyed) blonde hair.

Also I walk five miles a day. Because I can!

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

So far, I’ve been able to avoid reading glasses by just taking my prescription glasses off, which I need only to drive. I don’t mind reading glasses, but it’s another thing to carry around.

It seems unlikely that I’ll be a grandmother, although I made my mom a grandmother at the age of 79, so who knows?

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?

I loooooooooooooooooove my birthday. To me, the best birthday in the world is just family and a lasagna, one I made. And I buy myself great gifts. Although last year, it was my daughter’s idea to get me a new phone for the photos I take at sunrise every morning and that was truly a perfect gift. I’ve been walking at sunrise for over a year now and it’s a wee bit obsessive, but I’m not harming anyone and I feel more in tune with my hometown and nature than I ever have.

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Laura Lippman is a New York Times bestseller celebrating her 25th year in publishing in 2022 with her 28th book, Seasonal Work, a collection of short stories, which will be released on Jan. 4. She also has produced 25 novels, another short story anthology, a book of essays and a children's book. She likes to claim she lives in Baltimore and New Orleans, but who is she kidding, she's basically been sitting at her makeshift office in her dining room since March 2020.