I am that kid who hated gym so much I would hide in the local ravine until it was over. I couldn’t (and still can’t) do a pushup or pull-up. However, I rode horses and was really good at it, but no one at school knew that and I would have fantasies of riding my horse onto the football field and then everyone would understand that there were other ways to be fit and fabulous (and I’d get popular lol). When my kids were old enough to go to school full time I got a Pilates certification because Pilates (equipment) had helped my riding so much. But I fell in love with anatomy and helping people and ended up giving up horses for this career! Now I teach woman 50-70+ something called Restorative Exercise (if your readers know Katy Bowman who also has a substack, she’s my mentor). I have a great group of women from all over the world and we chat before and after class (on zoom) and that helps me stay connected and make real friends. I used to teach in person but since the pandemic I went online and discovered that suited me much better, plus I can reach more people so I kept that model. As a neurodivergent person with a strong social anxiety, this is perfect for my physical and mental health.
Wow. Restorative Exercise sounds interesting. I’ll look into it and Bowman. I’m also neurodivergent, and I suspect that’s also a factor in my aversion to group classees.
I'm 69 and I like going to group fitness classes. I like it for the comradery, because when I'm working out alone, I'm inclined to call it quits as soon as I get tired. It's also fun to be able to exchange eye roles and moans when an instructor says "one more set." Over the years (of SO many fitness trends) I find the gym to be the great equalizer. There are always people who are younger and fitter. And always people who are older and struggling more than you. Most of all, there are plenty who are older AND fitter than you. Hats off to everyone for showing up! Reality check: Everything hurts. But everything hurts whether I'm working out or not, so might as well. Also, my favorite exercise remains taking long walks outside.
I am 62 and moved into a retirement community four years ago as a 'downsize'. I retired this year. I am a joiner but have found that adjusting to retirement has been more difficult than I imagined. I have lots of interests and hobbies but difficulty prioritizing what to do with my time. However, we have a senior exercise class three days a week which I've attended a few times now. It has a nice mix of activities and you can stay in your chair exercising or stand up and make it more intense. They sit in a circle and everyone goes around introducing themselves and their neighbor, a little memory and social work. This essay really hit home for me as well. So much body image trauma for us all. I wonder if this is an age old issue? Given the ways womens bodies have been corseted and maligned Im guessing yes. Im printing this to pass out at class next time! Thanks
This sentence -"They had each bled for thousands of days" - does so very much to deliver the heart of this essay. Like Suzanne, I never enjoyed group fitness classes. I'm clumsy, and aerobics-class music gives me a panic attack (all that squealing.) I recently joined an all-women's (and female identified) lifting gym and work with a trainer, and am stunned that I love it. I'm 66 years old and bench pressed 45 pounds yesterday. Not a huge amount, but I'm delighted. (PS the music the other day included Dire Straits' "The Sultans of Swing." Not bad to lift to, gotta say.) Also, I dance at home when no one's looking. :)
I loved so much about your piece! Thank you for all the weird, wonderful interconnections one might find in exercise, dance, sisterhood, aging, and mental and social health. I cal my substack The Dancing Center. As a 70 year old dancing soul, I have a ton of body memory around things my body could do. I easily injure myself if I don’t stay at a beginner level. Odd. As an artist and art educator i am persnickety about my teachers, too. Yet I need groups to get my butt moving. And i’m highly sensitive- oi- an odd mix. When i find a good teacher in any practice I stick with them. Grateful I Am whenever I make it to the dancing center. Improv is my favorite. See the practice I helped create- InterPlay.org Thanks again
Keep going!! My sister, 84 now, started dancing when she was 5, and continued dancing until she was 82. The only reason she stopped was that she injured herself shoveling snow.
Loved this essay so much. I'm 58 and have never shied away from group exercise, though right now I skew more towards dance -- ballet, jazz, and modern -- and aerial circus. I also teach basic ballet to people going through or recovering from cancer treatment, of all ages. I can attest to both the psychological and physiological benefits of dancing with other people: trying to remember choreography improves cognition, sharing space with others helps with proprioception, it builds community and relationships that are so important for people who may be isolated due to age or illness, and it just makes you happy. (I wrote about this a little bit for Sari a few years ago in fact :) But one of my favorite memories from last year was of going to an outdoor water aerobics class with my aunt, and happily bouncing along in the pool with a few dozen women (and two men) all older than me, sweating and splashing in swimsuits without a visible worry in the world. Also, it was hard!
What a lovely essay. Suzanne Roberts looks at a room of older women and sees past their physical flaws and missteps into the long, tumultuous lives that have brought them to where they are. What a profound way to see the world around you.
I'm 74. I attend a weekly chair class. It is surprisingly challenging. It helps push me to try just a bit harder and enjoy meeting new people there. My daily routine includes dancing for 30 mins, but I do this alone. It is my meditation time and warm-up for the other things I do at home (stationary bike and rowing). I am a full-time political activist. It is essential that I take care of myself so that I can continue my work.
The same thing happened to me in gym class....PE I dreaded the Weigh In. It was an absolute form of torture for me. I was already a self-conscious teenager.
I am a 71 y/o retired physician who always tried to “walk the talk” I gave to my patients. That meant long distance running when I was very busy working as it could be fit into my schedule. I had a few exercise classes along the way but I have social anxiety and rarely could get past the learning curve of beginner status. As I aged I had to give up running because my clumsiness meant I started tripping more often and the recovery was harder and harder. I subbed walking and hiking and when I retired at 65 I committed to yoga in a way I had never been able to because the studio that had just opened in my little town was so completely welcoming and skilled at adaptive instructions for every level. Just a month ago I tripped while hiking with a group of friends and broke my leg in 4 places. As I recover (post surgery now) I am so very grateful for the 400+ hours I achieved in my yoga studio. I am able to stand on my good leg with good form for longer than you might think possible and I am flexible enough to reach my toes and my core strength and spinal flexibility are key to keeping my independence in my home (I live alone). So grateful for the terrific yoga friends and instructors that meant a consistent practice that I looked forward to. I so highly recommend finding what works for you as it might be the difference someday in being able to live your best life even with limitations.
I'm a big walker/hiker too and several years ago slipped walking downhill on dry grass barefoot and shattered my ankle bones. I have "hardware" now and have worked dilligently to regain balance and range of motion. I wanted to give you some positive feedback because the healing process can be frustrating at times. Yoga will serve you well.
I am 61 and I don't attend group exercise classes because I am hyper competitive. It took me a long time to admit that to myself and that it made exercise really not fun. I take one-on-one classes, work with a trainer and live somewhere I can ride my bike to most things. I know I am lucky to be able to do that. I am also known for cranking the music and bopping around the house. Lately Prince's Purple Rain has been on repeat as well as the soundtrack from Guardian's of the Galaxy.
So self-aware, Cindy! My husband, at about 65, went to a group fitness class and on day 3 he injured himself because he was "competing" with the 40-year-old man next to him.
Yep, it is just no fun when you are competing and since I am caring for elderly parents on top of everything else I can't afford to injure my self being a dumbass. I hurt myself in a yoga class once because I just KNEW I could hold that pose longer than the person next to me.
I am a young 71 and do not go to group fitness classes - except for Essentrics which is a short walk from me and in summer we do it outdoors in a park. Before Covid I loved going to an evening dance class called Dance your bliss that was about intuitive movement with very little instruction and mostly encouragement to just do our own thing. Maybe it’s because I am introverted and can’t tell my left from my right, so yoga is more my style :) this was a great essay and I loved that the author got a lot out of something she did mostly for her sisters sake!
I am 87, and I am also the brother-in-law mentioned in the piece. Suzanne is one of the good people. Repeat. She got my wife, her sister, to an exercise class. She helps us in any way she can, 1000 miles away. Good, good person. I loved this piece. But I do want to offer one minor clarification .Maybe two. Hagiography is not not my thing. Suzanne gave me more brains than I deserve, maybe gave brains more credit than they deserve. In a home, in a life together. The minor thing now. I did not read Proust in French. I did not learn French in order to read Proust in the original. I learned French in military school 70 years ago in order to avoid being beaten by a stick. (Un baton.) I read In Search of Lost Time in translation. Yes, I am attempting Ancient Greek. But I have reached the slough of verb forms now and find that I am requiring supplemental oxygen. We'll see how that goes. Yes, I know, the subject here is supposed to be exercise and age. So: Do it now. Do go to an exercise class. Do have fun and talk and move. I move by way of my wife's left arm and my right hand grasping that arm and a cane. Line dancing is out. And now, having neatly taken care of the matter of brains, mine, in our home, something about heart. No matter any cognitive decline--do we have to shout Alzheimer's all the time?--our home is my wife's heart, and, yes, her brains. She has sustained me and our home for fifty years. Lost car keys, or, "Have I already told you that?," or forgetting to mail the letters, will never, ever change that. I still loved the piece. Now let us all exercise. It's good. I will now stand up from my recliner. Then sit back down. Again.
Shout out to all the wonderful people who weigh 200, 300, 400 pounds or more. It's not some crime or shameful thing to weigh 200 pounds. No one has any kind of better or worse life just because they weighed 200 pounds at the end of high school.
Completely agree! I wish my teachers had been teaching that, rather than body shaming us, which so many of us grew up with, and we have had to fight our entire lives not to internalize.
Hi - I’m 61 and have always exercised on my own. This changed mid-2025 when I joined group yoga classes. I have met many people I never would have met and gained a community of like-minded yoga practitioners in a nurturing environment. Yoga is also great for improving flexibility, strength and balance - all so important as we age.
I’m 65 and I’m a teacher of group exercise.
I am that kid who hated gym so much I would hide in the local ravine until it was over. I couldn’t (and still can’t) do a pushup or pull-up. However, I rode horses and was really good at it, but no one at school knew that and I would have fantasies of riding my horse onto the football field and then everyone would understand that there were other ways to be fit and fabulous (and I’d get popular lol). When my kids were old enough to go to school full time I got a Pilates certification because Pilates (equipment) had helped my riding so much. But I fell in love with anatomy and helping people and ended up giving up horses for this career! Now I teach woman 50-70+ something called Restorative Exercise (if your readers know Katy Bowman who also has a substack, she’s my mentor). I have a great group of women from all over the world and we chat before and after class (on zoom) and that helps me stay connected and make real friends. I used to teach in person but since the pandemic I went online and discovered that suited me much better, plus I can reach more people so I kept that model. As a neurodivergent person with a strong social anxiety, this is perfect for my physical and mental health.
Wow. Restorative Exercise sounds interesting. I’ll look into it and Bowman. I’m also neurodivergent, and I suspect that’s also a factor in my aversion to group classees.
She has quite a few books including Move Your DNA and Dynamic Aging, my faves and a podcast also called Move Your DNA.
Oooh.
I'm 69 and I like going to group fitness classes. I like it for the comradery, because when I'm working out alone, I'm inclined to call it quits as soon as I get tired. It's also fun to be able to exchange eye roles and moans when an instructor says "one more set." Over the years (of SO many fitness trends) I find the gym to be the great equalizer. There are always people who are younger and fitter. And always people who are older and struggling more than you. Most of all, there are plenty who are older AND fitter than you. Hats off to everyone for showing up! Reality check: Everything hurts. But everything hurts whether I'm working out or not, so might as well. Also, my favorite exercise remains taking long walks outside.
Nice.
"Everything hurts." Yep. But I love that you said it hurts whether or not you work out. That's the truth!
I am 62 and moved into a retirement community four years ago as a 'downsize'. I retired this year. I am a joiner but have found that adjusting to retirement has been more difficult than I imagined. I have lots of interests and hobbies but difficulty prioritizing what to do with my time. However, we have a senior exercise class three days a week which I've attended a few times now. It has a nice mix of activities and you can stay in your chair exercising or stand up and make it more intense. They sit in a circle and everyone goes around introducing themselves and their neighbor, a little memory and social work. This essay really hit home for me as well. So much body image trauma for us all. I wonder if this is an age old issue? Given the ways womens bodies have been corseted and maligned Im guessing yes. Im printing this to pass out at class next time! Thanks
I love that you are sharing this essay with your class!
This sentence -"They had each bled for thousands of days" - does so very much to deliver the heart of this essay. Like Suzanne, I never enjoyed group fitness classes. I'm clumsy, and aerobics-class music gives me a panic attack (all that squealing.) I recently joined an all-women's (and female identified) lifting gym and work with a trainer, and am stunned that I love it. I'm 66 years old and bench pressed 45 pounds yesterday. Not a huge amount, but I'm delighted. (PS the music the other day included Dire Straits' "The Sultans of Swing." Not bad to lift to, gotta say.) Also, I dance at home when no one's looking. :)
I’m so glad you enjoyed the essay.
I loved so much about your piece! Thank you for all the weird, wonderful interconnections one might find in exercise, dance, sisterhood, aging, and mental and social health. I cal my substack The Dancing Center. As a 70 year old dancing soul, I have a ton of body memory around things my body could do. I easily injure myself if I don’t stay at a beginner level. Odd. As an artist and art educator i am persnickety about my teachers, too. Yet I need groups to get my butt moving. And i’m highly sensitive- oi- an odd mix. When i find a good teacher in any practice I stick with them. Grateful I Am whenever I make it to the dancing center. Improv is my favorite. See the practice I helped create- InterPlay.org Thanks again
Go, Jessica!
Oh, the comfort of knowing I'm not the only 50-something who still dances like a joyous maniac to the Go-Gos! Thanks, Suzanne Roberts and Sari!
We got the beat!
So glad this resonated, Tammy!
Keep going!! My sister, 84 now, started dancing when she was 5, and continued dancing until she was 82. The only reason she stopped was that she injured herself shoveling snow.
Hi Tammy! Of course I remember you. Not surprised that we are both Oldster fans!
😊
Loved this essay so much. I'm 58 and have never shied away from group exercise, though right now I skew more towards dance -- ballet, jazz, and modern -- and aerial circus. I also teach basic ballet to people going through or recovering from cancer treatment, of all ages. I can attest to both the psychological and physiological benefits of dancing with other people: trying to remember choreography improves cognition, sharing space with others helps with proprioception, it builds community and relationships that are so important for people who may be isolated due to age or illness, and it just makes you happy. (I wrote about this a little bit for Sari a few years ago in fact :) But one of my favorite memories from last year was of going to an outdoor water aerobics class with my aunt, and happily bouncing along in the pool with a few dozen women (and two men) all older than me, sweating and splashing in swimsuits without a visible worry in the world. Also, it was hard!
Love that story about the water aerobics class, Martha! Thanks for chiming in. <3
I’m so glad the essay resonated with you.
What a lovely essay. Suzanne Roberts looks at a room of older women and sees past their physical flaws and missteps into the long, tumultuous lives that have brought them to where they are. What a profound way to see the world around you.
So glad you enjoyed this, Ruth. <3
Thank you for your kind words.
I'm 74. I attend a weekly chair class. It is surprisingly challenging. It helps push me to try just a bit harder and enjoy meeting new people there. My daily routine includes dancing for 30 mins, but I do this alone. It is my meditation time and warm-up for the other things I do at home (stationary bike and rowing). I am a full-time political activist. It is essential that I take care of myself so that I can continue my work.
My 90-year-old dad takes chair classes and loves them. He also uses a stationary bike. Good that you’re so active.
The same thing happened to me in gym class....PE I dreaded the Weigh In. It was an absolute form of torture for me. I was already a self-conscious teenager.
<3
I am a 71 y/o retired physician who always tried to “walk the talk” I gave to my patients. That meant long distance running when I was very busy working as it could be fit into my schedule. I had a few exercise classes along the way but I have social anxiety and rarely could get past the learning curve of beginner status. As I aged I had to give up running because my clumsiness meant I started tripping more often and the recovery was harder and harder. I subbed walking and hiking and when I retired at 65 I committed to yoga in a way I had never been able to because the studio that had just opened in my little town was so completely welcoming and skilled at adaptive instructions for every level. Just a month ago I tripped while hiking with a group of friends and broke my leg in 4 places. As I recover (post surgery now) I am so very grateful for the 400+ hours I achieved in my yoga studio. I am able to stand on my good leg with good form for longer than you might think possible and I am flexible enough to reach my toes and my core strength and spinal flexibility are key to keeping my independence in my home (I live alone). So grateful for the terrific yoga friends and instructors that meant a consistent practice that I looked forward to. I so highly recommend finding what works for you as it might be the difference someday in being able to live your best life even with limitations.
I'm a big walker/hiker too and several years ago slipped walking downhill on dry grass barefoot and shattered my ankle bones. I have "hardware" now and have worked dilligently to regain balance and range of motion. I wanted to give you some positive feedback because the healing process can be frustrating at times. Yoga will serve you well.
I am 61 and I don't attend group exercise classes because I am hyper competitive. It took me a long time to admit that to myself and that it made exercise really not fun. I take one-on-one classes, work with a trainer and live somewhere I can ride my bike to most things. I know I am lucky to be able to do that. I am also known for cranking the music and bopping around the house. Lately Prince's Purple Rain has been on repeat as well as the soundtrack from Guardian's of the Galaxy.
So self-aware, Cindy! My husband, at about 65, went to a group fitness class and on day 3 he injured himself because he was "competing" with the 40-year-old man next to him.
Yep, it is just no fun when you are competing and since I am caring for elderly parents on top of everything else I can't afford to injure my self being a dumbass. I hurt myself in a yoga class once because I just KNEW I could hold that pose longer than the person next to me.
Amazing.
How good that you know this about yourself.
Life long martial artist here. I can attest to what you say about group exercise particularly as we get older.
I am a young 71 and do not go to group fitness classes - except for Essentrics which is a short walk from me and in summer we do it outdoors in a park. Before Covid I loved going to an evening dance class called Dance your bliss that was about intuitive movement with very little instruction and mostly encouragement to just do our own thing. Maybe it’s because I am introverted and can’t tell my left from my right, so yoga is more my style :) this was a great essay and I loved that the author got a lot out of something she did mostly for her sisters sake!
We are a lot alike!
I am 87, and I am also the brother-in-law mentioned in the piece. Suzanne is one of the good people. Repeat. She got my wife, her sister, to an exercise class. She helps us in any way she can, 1000 miles away. Good, good person. I loved this piece. But I do want to offer one minor clarification .Maybe two. Hagiography is not not my thing. Suzanne gave me more brains than I deserve, maybe gave brains more credit than they deserve. In a home, in a life together. The minor thing now. I did not read Proust in French. I did not learn French in order to read Proust in the original. I learned French in military school 70 years ago in order to avoid being beaten by a stick. (Un baton.) I read In Search of Lost Time in translation. Yes, I am attempting Ancient Greek. But I have reached the slough of verb forms now and find that I am requiring supplemental oxygen. We'll see how that goes. Yes, I know, the subject here is supposed to be exercise and age. So: Do it now. Do go to an exercise class. Do have fun and talk and move. I move by way of my wife's left arm and my right hand grasping that arm and a cane. Line dancing is out. And now, having neatly taken care of the matter of brains, mine, in our home, something about heart. No matter any cognitive decline--do we have to shout Alzheimer's all the time?--our home is my wife's heart, and, yes, her brains. She has sustained me and our home for fifty years. Lost car keys, or, "Have I already told you that?," or forgetting to mail the letters, will never, ever change that. I still loved the piece. Now let us all exercise. It's good. I will now stand up from my recliner. Then sit back down. Again.
Thanks for clarifying and for chiming in!
Shout out to all the wonderful people who weigh 200, 300, 400 pounds or more. It's not some crime or shameful thing to weigh 200 pounds. No one has any kind of better or worse life just because they weighed 200 pounds at the end of high school.
Shout out to everyone who weighs over 200 lbs and is just as worthy of love as anyone else!
Completely agree! I wish my teachers had been teaching that, rather than body shaming us, which so many of us grew up with, and we have had to fight our entire lives not to internalize.
Hi - I’m 61 and have always exercised on my own. This changed mid-2025 when I joined group yoga classes. I have met many people I never would have met and gained a community of like-minded yoga practitioners in a nurturing environment. Yoga is also great for improving flexibility, strength and balance - all so important as we age.