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As your publication makes clear, every decade presents new opportunities and new challenges. But, what people like to minimize, or don’t want to hear that much about at all, is that reaching 80, and certainly 90, presents more challenges than opportunities. Despite all the Silicone Valley hype and research, our bodies have been designed by evolution to fall apart. As creatures, we are on Earth to reproduce, raise out young and get out of the way.

I never realized that 36% of women reach 90 vs. 16% of men. I’m sure there are many factors, physical, mental, and social that contribute to that. I think this site is one example of how women are much more open and supportive about the changes they go through.

Anyway, hang -in-there, as best you can. It’s always better with others.

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I appreciate your comments on "being childfree" both by inclination and because medically it wasn't possible to have children (biologically). I'm one of the youngest baby boomers (born a few days before 1962; both my sisters are Gen X) and I always knew, from very early childhood, that I didn't want to have or raise kids, though I liked some of my friends' kids and appreciated their relationships with each other. My middle sister also always knew, from todderlhood, that she /did/ absolutely want kids (she had three). I'm glad no one tried to tell me otherwise or place expectations on me about child-bearing/-rearing, certainly not my parents, though some acquaintances airily opined that I'd change my mind when I got older, but it wouldn't have mattered what anyone else said or expected of me, and I guess I was blind or or immune to societal expectations in this regard. I'm 61 now, married, happy, no kids or grandkids, and being childless or childfree is not something I think about (unless prompted to) and it's not something I regret. I've really loved my life and felt its fullness.

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Jun 3, 2023Liked by Sari Botton

Thank you for pointing me/us to Kim’s new location!

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So much great content here. I have been glued to the 'Wiser Than Me' podcast for the last few weeks, every episode is gold 👌 And Julia L-D's new movie looks like essential viewing for us insecure writer folks who always secretly doubt whether our friends and family are just being nice 😂

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