How to become an "overnight success" in just 40 years...Hipping myself to hip replacement...Remember when we had to check our answering machines to find our friends?
As a pastor, I hear a lot from bionic congregants about their surgeries. Knees are the most frequent surgeries of oldsters. Hips are a close second. Both are painful. Humbling. And well worth the endeavor. And they definitely “ain’t what they used to be many long years ago.” Not a piece of cake. More of a stale bagel. But afterward the vast majority of people wonder why they waited so long. -Dwight Lee Wolter.
I have had both hips replaced. The right in December 2019(age 63) and the left in January 2025(age 68). Two different surgeons with their own procedures, so both surgeries had their similarities and differences. Unequivocally I would do both again in a heartbeat without a second thought. The freedom from pain and the return to mobility is worth everything, but honestly, the pain and discomfort from each surgery was nothing compared to what I was experiencing beforehand. I’m also sure the knowledge that the surgical/recovery pain was temporary and had every expectation of making me whole again had a lot of positive psychological impact.
The second surgery was done in a surgical center. I was admitted at 8am and sent home at 2pm. The physical therapist had me up and walking as soon as the anesthesia wore off, and I had an exercise routine to complete twice a day starting immediately. I believe that such an exercise program is key to a successful, healthy recovery. My surgery was January 10th, and I was out to dinner with my family using a cane (barely) on January 31st, walking 3 miles and biking 5 miles by the middle of March.
I would encourage you and anyone else to go for it! It’s made such a difference for me.
Aww Jerry Orbach! Lots of wonderful memories watching Law & Order with my grandpa. And I love the idea of digitizing old answering machine messages, how fun that your friend sent you that!
I had both hips replaced in my fifties and it was life changing. I had a freak accident with anesthesia that caused me to lose my voice for two years, but aside from that, it was the best thing I've ever done. I was also hung up on the "old person surgery" bullshit, but I decided to suck it up and not be in pain anymore. Plus, 24-year-old me would consider current-me ancient anyway. Fuck it.
The "overnight success after 40 years" bit hits different when you're actually building something real. Most creators are chasing validation in real-time these days—betting everything on the next algorithm or trend. But you're describing a different thing: a 40-year residency in a craft, finally getting the recognition it deserved.
The Fantasticks reference is perfect for this. That show didn't need to close after a hit summer. It stayed because people kept showing up. Same energy with what you're doing at Oldster—not chasing virality, just showing up with actual writing and interviews that matter.
And the hip replacement honesty at the end? That's the kind of thing Oldster exists for. The gaps nobody else is filling.
I had both hips replaced around my 60th birthday. What a godsend! I feel 20 years younger and had no idea how much I'd reshaped my life around avoiding the slowly, slowly increasing pain. For example, my arthritis made it uncomfortable to stand around without moving for more than 15 minutes or so. Well, that's exactly what you do at most parties, and I had been avoiding parties not-quite-consciously because I'd come to associate them with pain. You also don't really need physical therapy afterwards in most cases, just as much walking as you can manage. A PT can give you some exercises to improve your recovery, but walking is the best therapy. Knees are more complicated, but hips are simple.
Can you swim? This was the one exercise that helped moderate the pain before my surgeries. Moving the joint around without impact can provide some relief. Walking is also easier on non-paved surfaces if you can access that. Definitely strengthening the muscles before the surgery helps in the recovery, and there is a trail near my house that has a lot of steps going up, and an easy slope going down that was perfect. It's the impact going down that causes the pain.
If it's limiting you that much, you should opt for replacement sooner rather than later. Bad hips run in my family, and my grandmother and mother put off replacement as long as they could (to be fair, it's much easier procedure now), and so I associated it with a last resort thing people do toward the end of their life. I got into a few online groups where people discuss their surgeries and strategies for recovery and that opened my eyes.
I had pain in my right hip for decades, which I eventually understood to have begun when 3 teenagers pushed me off my bike onto my hip when I was 30. By the time I realized physical therapy wouldn’t cut it, the x- ray showed a hip that looked like a cave, with stalactites and stalagmites. Between me and a weirdly conservative orthopedist, it would be 2 years before my replacement transformed my life. I was a psychiatrist, 59, and I was out for 2 months— but the result was fabulous. Really. I’m 76 now, and I tear around with my dog. I always tell folks that my orthopedist said the only thing I shouldn’t do ever was run. I could have kissed his feet. I hated running!
I've had hip and partial knee. The hip was worse at first but easier overall recovery. Totally worth it. My partial knee is now in need of a full. I'm looking at that probably in the fall.
My strong suggestion is HSS. I can talk to you more about it if you want.
My mom had her hip replacement at HHS after white-knuckling it for YEARS (she's a New England Puritan, even tho she's a Jew, who will barely takes Ibuprofen, let alone consider surgery an option for pain) until she FINALLY couldn't wait any longer, when it was bone on bone. She woke up STUNNED to not be in pain and regretted not having it done years earlier.
So fun that your friend managed to hold onto his answering machine messages!
I'm remembering my college days, when you had to sign up for 'phone and door duty' at my sorority. Yes, someone had to be assigned to hang out and listen for the house phone to ring (we had individual phones and answering machines in our rooms, the house phone was a last ditch effort to see if your friend was hanging out on the first floor) and walk around the first floor or take a message, or answer the door for a guest. I'm thinking there were two shifts, mid afternoon to dinner, and after dinner until 10, but I could be wrong.
I had an emergency hip replacement when I fell on the ice three years ago at age 66. I was shocked that my hip broke in the first place! And also full of dread because of all the stories about old women who go downhill fast once their hips go. It hasn’t been like that at all. I recovered quickly and was back to walking my dogs in 5 weeks. It even improved my posture! Good luck with yours, Sari.
Seeing and reading about Misty Copeland reminded me that she visited the high school where I taught for over twenty years, which is wild when I think about it. She was gloriously beautiful in every sense of the word, and she talked to our students in a way that showed she valued every one of them.
I can attest to the fact that hip replacements aren't just for older people -- I had both of mine replaced at age 17! I was nervous about it beforehand, too (of course!) but all I can say is that in the 32 years since then, I've never taken for granted being able to walk. Truly life-changing in my case.
I have also seen older relatives put off joint replacement surgery in recent years, white-knuckling through the pain for months or years, only to experience substantial relief once they finally did it. Wishing you the best whatever (and whenever) you choose!
The "overnight success" after 40 years gets at something I think about a lot. A job that doesn't get swallowed by engagement metrics, that keeps its shape for decades—that's not invisible. You just paid the rent doing it instead of performing your work on Twitter in real-time.
The answering machine thread landed hard too. There was something about not having to be constantly findable that gave people space to actually miss each other.
Yes, remember having to only do your job and not also having to publicize it? And well said, re: answering machines and not being endlessely finadable.
For my husband and I, it’s the inevitable knee replacement(s) also I still have an answering machine and am trying to figure out how to save the messages (because it is filled with beloveds who’ve died)
Yes, I’m hearing good things about knee replacement, too! Maybe send your tapes to Legacy Box (http://legacybox.com). I’ve had slides from my childhood digitized by them, and they also do audio stuff.
Love the topic hopping cadence in your Editor letters, so much to think about, esp the long arc of a career and accumulated skills and wisdom. I’m not ready to deal with the hip situation and how it might apply to me - but I’d really love a deep dive into HOW we organized and planned and moved through the world back in the analog days. Let’s do a mini series and rekindle those old memories and skills (in case they become useful again. . . .)
I loved, “a slap in the fact” and think it was so brilliant I still wonder if it was a typo. -Dwight Lee Wolter.
Lol. Fixing!
As a pastor, I hear a lot from bionic congregants about their surgeries. Knees are the most frequent surgeries of oldsters. Hips are a close second. Both are painful. Humbling. And well worth the endeavor. And they definitely “ain’t what they used to be many long years ago.” Not a piece of cake. More of a stale bagel. But afterward the vast majority of people wonder why they waited so long. -Dwight Lee Wolter.
Yes!
I humbly and not-so-humbly believe you might consider checking-out my substack ~ Dwight Lee Wolter
Sigh, the poor “hippies” reading this post. - Dwight Lee Wolter.
Speaking from experience 😁
I have had both hips replaced. The right in December 2019(age 63) and the left in January 2025(age 68). Two different surgeons with their own procedures, so both surgeries had their similarities and differences. Unequivocally I would do both again in a heartbeat without a second thought. The freedom from pain and the return to mobility is worth everything, but honestly, the pain and discomfort from each surgery was nothing compared to what I was experiencing beforehand. I’m also sure the knowledge that the surgical/recovery pain was temporary and had every expectation of making me whole again had a lot of positive psychological impact.
The second surgery was done in a surgical center. I was admitted at 8am and sent home at 2pm. The physical therapist had me up and walking as soon as the anesthesia wore off, and I had an exercise routine to complete twice a day starting immediately. I believe that such an exercise program is key to a successful, healthy recovery. My surgery was January 10th, and I was out to dinner with my family using a cane (barely) on January 31st, walking 3 miles and biking 5 miles by the middle of March.
I would encourage you and anyone else to go for it! It’s made such a difference for me.
Sounds great. Thanks for letting me know.
Aww Jerry Orbach! Lots of wonderful memories watching Law & Order with my grandpa. And I love the idea of digitizing old answering machine messages, how fun that your friend sent you that!
I had both hips replaced in my fifties and it was life changing. I had a freak accident with anesthesia that caused me to lose my voice for two years, but aside from that, it was the best thing I've ever done. I was also hung up on the "old person surgery" bullshit, but I decided to suck it up and not be in pain anymore. Plus, 24-year-old me would consider current-me ancient anyway. Fuck it.
Great! Except for the Anesthesia snafu!! Oy vey. Glad that eventually ended.
The "overnight success after 40 years" bit hits different when you're actually building something real. Most creators are chasing validation in real-time these days—betting everything on the next algorithm or trend. But you're describing a different thing: a 40-year residency in a craft, finally getting the recognition it deserved.
The Fantasticks reference is perfect for this. That show didn't need to close after a hit summer. It stayed because people kept showing up. Same energy with what you're doing at Oldster—not chasing virality, just showing up with actual writing and interviews that matter.
And the hip replacement honesty at the end? That's the kind of thing Oldster exists for. The gaps nobody else is filling.
Aww, thank you so much, Arthur, on the fronts you touch on here. 🙏
I had both hips replaced around my 60th birthday. What a godsend! I feel 20 years younger and had no idea how much I'd reshaped my life around avoiding the slowly, slowly increasing pain. For example, my arthritis made it uncomfortable to stand around without moving for more than 15 minutes or so. Well, that's exactly what you do at most parties, and I had been avoiding parties not-quite-consciously because I'd come to associate them with pain. You also don't really need physical therapy afterwards in most cases, just as much walking as you can manage. A PT can give you some exercises to improve your recovery, but walking is the best therapy. Knees are more complicated, but hips are simple.
This is very encouraging! I’m not excercising, I’m not walking very far, I’m not doing yoga. It all hurts too much. Gotta do something…
Can you swim? This was the one exercise that helped moderate the pain before my surgeries. Moving the joint around without impact can provide some relief. Walking is also easier on non-paved surfaces if you can access that. Definitely strengthening the muscles before the surgery helps in the recovery, and there is a trail near my house that has a lot of steps going up, and an easy slope going down that was perfect. It's the impact going down that causes the pain.
If it's limiting you that much, you should opt for replacement sooner rather than later. Bad hips run in my family, and my grandmother and mother put off replacement as long as they could (to be fair, it's much easier procedure now), and so I associated it with a last resort thing people do toward the end of their life. I got into a few online groups where people discuss their surgeries and strategies for recovery and that opened my eyes.
I’m a terrible swimmer, unfortunately. But I might go for surgery sooner than later. Thanks!
I had pain in my right hip for decades, which I eventually understood to have begun when 3 teenagers pushed me off my bike onto my hip when I was 30. By the time I realized physical therapy wouldn’t cut it, the x- ray showed a hip that looked like a cave, with stalactites and stalagmites. Between me and a weirdly conservative orthopedist, it would be 2 years before my replacement transformed my life. I was a psychiatrist, 59, and I was out for 2 months— but the result was fabulous. Really. I’m 76 now, and I tear around with my dog. I always tell folks that my orthopedist said the only thing I shouldn’t do ever was run. I could have kissed his feet. I hated running!
Great to hear. Thank you.
I've had hip and partial knee. The hip was worse at first but easier overall recovery. Totally worth it. My partial knee is now in need of a full. I'm looking at that probably in the fall.
My strong suggestion is HSS. I can talk to you more about it if you want.
Yes, people keep recommending HSS. Good luck with the knee, Nancy!
Thank you.
My mom had her hip replacement at HHS after white-knuckling it for YEARS (she's a New England Puritan, even tho she's a Jew, who will barely takes Ibuprofen, let alone consider surgery an option for pain) until she FINALLY couldn't wait any longer, when it was bone on bone. She woke up STUNNED to not be in pain and regretted not having it done years earlier.
I had also lost strength in that leg/hip and it came back amazingly
So fun that your friend managed to hold onto his answering machine messages!
I'm remembering my college days, when you had to sign up for 'phone and door duty' at my sorority. Yes, someone had to be assigned to hang out and listen for the house phone to ring (we had individual phones and answering machines in our rooms, the house phone was a last ditch effort to see if your friend was hanging out on the first floor) and walk around the first floor or take a message, or answer the door for a guest. I'm thinking there were two shifts, mid afternoon to dinner, and after dinner until 10, but I could be wrong.
I had an emergency hip replacement when I fell on the ice three years ago at age 66. I was shocked that my hip broke in the first place! And also full of dread because of all the stories about old women who go downhill fast once their hips go. It hasn’t been like that at all. I recovered quickly and was back to walking my dogs in 5 weeks. It even improved my posture! Good luck with yours, Sari.
Amazing! I should just bite the bullet…
Seeing and reading about Misty Copeland reminded me that she visited the high school where I taught for over twenty years, which is wild when I think about it. She was gloriously beautiful in every sense of the word, and she talked to our students in a way that showed she valued every one of them.
How lovely.
Love this...I remember how the first thing I would do when I got home was to check my answering machine.
Same! Thank you.
I can attest to the fact that hip replacements aren't just for older people -- I had both of mine replaced at age 17! I was nervous about it beforehand, too (of course!) but all I can say is that in the 32 years since then, I've never taken for granted being able to walk. Truly life-changing in my case.
I have also seen older relatives put off joint replacement surgery in recent years, white-knuckling through the pain for months or years, only to experience substantial relief once they finally did it. Wishing you the best whatever (and whenever) you choose!
17! Wow! Thanks for chiming in.
The "overnight success" after 40 years gets at something I think about a lot. A job that doesn't get swallowed by engagement metrics, that keeps its shape for decades—that's not invisible. You just paid the rent doing it instead of performing your work on Twitter in real-time.
The answering machine thread landed hard too. There was something about not having to be constantly findable that gave people space to actually miss each other.
Yes, remember having to only do your job and not also having to publicize it? And well said, re: answering machines and not being endlessely finadable.
For my husband and I, it’s the inevitable knee replacement(s) also I still have an answering machine and am trying to figure out how to save the messages (because it is filled with beloveds who’ve died)
Yes, I’m hearing good things about knee replacement, too! Maybe send your tapes to Legacy Box (http://legacybox.com). I’ve had slides from my childhood digitized by them, and they also do audio stuff.
Love the topic hopping cadence in your Editor letters, so much to think about, esp the long arc of a career and accumulated skills and wisdom. I’m not ready to deal with the hip situation and how it might apply to me - but I’d really love a deep dive into HOW we organized and planned and moved through the world back in the analog days. Let’s do a mini series and rekindle those old memories and skills (in case they become useful again. . . .)
Good idea! And thank you. Glad you’re enjoying these letters.