Thanks again Sari for publishing this second piece. Sometimes we think we are all alone with our challenges, disappointments and insecurities. As a therapist I am fortunate that the stories of my clients remind me we are all in this together. It is exciting to discover writing can be such a powerful connector. It has been such a privilege to write a few pieces in Oldster and get such supportive feedback from her readers. What a community!! Growing older is a privilege and a gift.. let’s embrace it.
Good point.. it might happen earlier.. But lots of other ways to get my battery recharged.. just did 7 days on Portuguese Camino - which was another way of saying YES i want and I can do it, even after 2 broken toes and sciatica.. my body looked after me.
Kudos to Ms. Rice, her validation that sexuality is alive and well as we age, if we choose it to be.
Unlike Ms. Rice, my libido has always been high, so high that in my late fifties, (post menopausal, post divorce), free to be me, my sexual energy took a huge uptick. Curious and wanting to know more about sex; the seasoned woman, the younger man, I began researching the subject.
My in-depth research led me to amazing women and men, authors, mentors, whose expertise focuses on the ancient goddess cultures and why at this stage of life women are in their sexual mastery. Sexuality and Spirituality are joined in the most amazing ways.
Seven years later, at the age of sixty four, I published a book on the subject. The title of the first chapter of my book reads: "LOVING BEING SEXY IN MY SIXTIES AND BEYOND!"
One of my closest mentors, Linda Savage Ph.D, in her book "Reclaiming Goddess Sexuality", reminds us that while the feminine experience is largely missing in modern adult sexual imagery, it was abundantly portrayed as long as 30,000 years ago and those ancient woman-positive cultures have a message about sexuality that we can learn from today. I certainly did; in technicolor.
My present lover of nine years, 30 years my junior, adores me. We're insatiable.
Having turned 80 years young in May ( I'm one year older than Cher who obviously continues to enjoy her sexuality too), I plan to forever attend to and honor my sexuality because it keeps me lustfully young.
Interesting. Personally I would just prefer an ordinary massage, partly because my body kinda hurts, and also because desire just isn’t there. My emotional needs are separate from touch by most humans, which is probably not 100% healthy. I would prefer to pet an animal and have a cat in my lap or under my chin when I sleep. But I love seeing women ask for what they want and need, and getting it.
Pets do provide not only the most profound companionship, but so much touch and connection. Love the fact your cat is cuddled up to you. Sadly I am allergic to cats and dogs seem like too much of a responsibility and commitment. And I love any kind of massage
That moth fluttering out of the diaphragm case is haunting! And what a great tribute to the necessary selfishness of sex. Both yielding and claiming play their part in satisfaction.
Amen to that! Though I do miss the urgency of procreational sex. Like, on purpose. After our older son (of two) learned about the ins and outs of sex, around age eight, he asked my wife: "So you and dad have had sex twice, right?" She said, with a straight face, "Yes." (Other numbers were valid, as well.)
I’m 90 years young and am involved in a very satisfying sexual relationship with a man 9 years younger than me. I can’t begin to tell you all how exciting and gratifying it is to me to know that I can still sexually excite a man even with my shuffling walk and wrinkled skin. Of course, it take pains with my appearance, watching my weight, and my grooming and makeup. Prior to his arrival at my home I am thinking about what sexy clothing I can put on to keep him excited. But the relationship is not just limited to sex. We share many hours together talking, eating, playing games. Etc. It would be”peter” out quickly if it was just the sex. The other night when I was standing in the kitchen cooking our dinner he was just watching me and then came over, lowered his pants and showed me his erection saying “do you see what you do to me?”And I thought, Man, it doesn’t get any better than that!
As a 34ry old man I somehow made it through both stories and even to the bottom of the comments. Congratulations on your bravery. I wish my mom (now 76yo) could have pulled off something like that. Since my parents hit their late 60s my father went on to develop a girlfriend and my mother developed an affection for her dog unlike anything she showed for the pets of my childhood. Despite this they are still married and living together, battling the various sicknesses and maladies of older age as they present.
I loved both these stories and was rooting for you the whole time, Gail! I'm almost 50 and separated (of my own design) and decided I'm not now, and maybe never, looking for a replacement husband, but I do enjoy my sensuality and that physical and emotional connection. On the dating app I use, I am very clear: I am not interested in or expecting exclusivity. I expect companionship as well as intimacy, and demand respect about how I choose to conduct myself. It's opened up an opportunity to experience people who would not be on my radar were I looking for a long term, committed relationship. There is someone who has turned into a strong emotional connection that's lasted for a couple years now, we text daily and see each other maybe once every two weeks. On paper he'd be a ridiculous choice for a partner... Not steadily employed, weird living arrangement, etc. But for my circumstances... Well, who cares? We communicate well, the sex is awesome, and we enjoy each other's company. And then in the mix are a couple other men... One separated himself and very emotionally unavailable (but we have a phenomenal physical connection), another who is older than me and with a vow to stay single, which is a-ok with me. He's insanely interesting to talk to. And then an occasional other person who might float in and out, satisfying a temporary curiosity or providing a little variety. I'm my separation, I'm more alone, but not lonely, and it really hits the sweet spot.
Good on you Gail. I've never been quite game enough to hire an escort...maybe it's the nurse in me worrying about 'sharing'. I've had younger lovers and that's been great. I think you have to have lived a good many years before you find the courage to express what you 'like' and what turns you on. I have never been a 'cougar', but rather enjoy someone younger than me making it clear they are attracted to me, then letting nature take it's course.
Love that Bev, lucky you to gain the attention of men younger than you! Enjoy! Absolutely courage is something I now understand can come with wisdom and clarity of what we really want
Thanks again Sari for publishing this second piece. Sometimes we think we are all alone with our challenges, disappointments and insecurities. As a therapist I am fortunate that the stories of my clients remind me we are all in this together. It is exciting to discover writing can be such a powerful connector. It has been such a privilege to write a few pieces in Oldster and get such supportive feedback from her readers. What a community!! Growing older is a privilege and a gift.. let’s embrace it.
Love this we are definitely all in this together! What a relief we are not alone
Why wait until next year's birthday?!
Good point.. it might happen earlier.. But lots of other ways to get my battery recharged.. just did 7 days on Portuguese Camino - which was another way of saying YES i want and I can do it, even after 2 broken toes and sciatica.. my body looked after me.
exactly what i was thinking
Kudos to Ms. Rice, her validation that sexuality is alive and well as we age, if we choose it to be.
Unlike Ms. Rice, my libido has always been high, so high that in my late fifties, (post menopausal, post divorce), free to be me, my sexual energy took a huge uptick. Curious and wanting to know more about sex; the seasoned woman, the younger man, I began researching the subject.
My in-depth research led me to amazing women and men, authors, mentors, whose expertise focuses on the ancient goddess cultures and why at this stage of life women are in their sexual mastery. Sexuality and Spirituality are joined in the most amazing ways.
Seven years later, at the age of sixty four, I published a book on the subject. The title of the first chapter of my book reads: "LOVING BEING SEXY IN MY SIXTIES AND BEYOND!"
One of my closest mentors, Linda Savage Ph.D, in her book "Reclaiming Goddess Sexuality", reminds us that while the feminine experience is largely missing in modern adult sexual imagery, it was abundantly portrayed as long as 30,000 years ago and those ancient woman-positive cultures have a message about sexuality that we can learn from today. I certainly did; in technicolor.
My present lover of nine years, 30 years my junior, adores me. We're insatiable.
Having turned 80 years young in May ( I'm one year older than Cher who obviously continues to enjoy her sexuality too), I plan to forever attend to and honor my sexuality because it keeps me lustfully young.
Oh JoY!
Wow love your story Joan! go girl!
Interesting. Personally I would just prefer an ordinary massage, partly because my body kinda hurts, and also because desire just isn’t there. My emotional needs are separate from touch by most humans, which is probably not 100% healthy. I would prefer to pet an animal and have a cat in my lap or under my chin when I sleep. But I love seeing women ask for what they want and need, and getting it.
Pets do provide not only the most profound companionship, but so much touch and connection. Love the fact your cat is cuddled up to you. Sadly I am allergic to cats and dogs seem like too much of a responsibility and commitment. And I love any kind of massage
That moth fluttering out of the diaphragm case is haunting! And what a great tribute to the necessary selfishness of sex. Both yielding and claiming play their part in satisfaction.
Hee hee, the advantage of getting older is all of that distress about birth control is gone.
Amen to that! Though I do miss the urgency of procreational sex. Like, on purpose. After our older son (of two) learned about the ins and outs of sex, around age eight, he asked my wife: "So you and dad have had sex twice, right?" She said, with a straight face, "Yes." (Other numbers were valid, as well.)
😂
Like most of the others here, I'd been anticipating the second chapter of the story, and I was definitely satisfied.
Thank you so much for joining me again in this bit of my story. I am truly overwhelmed by the kindness and support.
Such an encouraging story!
Thanks for reading it and hope it inspires you in some way.
What fun! I was absolutely waiting for Chap. 2. Brave, beautiful girl! ❤️
Thanks so much Phyllis, I appreciate you reading it..
I think a memoir is in order!
I'm so glad that I read this! I want to be this bold - and your experience has definitely encouraged me!
So thrilled if this has inspired you to be bold! I love that word. Boldness can come in tiny flashes.
I absolutely love the “lesson” of showing up with a voice, and letting the other provide their 50%!
Learning a little late.. but intend to listen to my voice more in the next 20 years.. and if others don’t, won’t or can’t show up. Tough!
Niiiiiice.
I’m 90 years young and am involved in a very satisfying sexual relationship with a man 9 years younger than me. I can’t begin to tell you all how exciting and gratifying it is to me to know that I can still sexually excite a man even with my shuffling walk and wrinkled skin. Of course, it take pains with my appearance, watching my weight, and my grooming and makeup. Prior to his arrival at my home I am thinking about what sexy clothing I can put on to keep him excited. But the relationship is not just limited to sex. We share many hours together talking, eating, playing games. Etc. It would be”peter” out quickly if it was just the sex. The other night when I was standing in the kitchen cooking our dinner he was just watching me and then came over, lowered his pants and showed me his erection saying “do you see what you do to me?”And I thought, Man, it doesn’t get any better than that!
You are amazing. Both of you.
As a 34ry old man I somehow made it through both stories and even to the bottom of the comments. Congratulations on your bravery. I wish my mom (now 76yo) could have pulled off something like that. Since my parents hit their late 60s my father went on to develop a girlfriend and my mother developed an affection for her dog unlike anything she showed for the pets of my childhood. Despite this they are still married and living together, battling the various sicknesses and maladies of older age as they present.
I loved both these stories and was rooting for you the whole time, Gail! I'm almost 50 and separated (of my own design) and decided I'm not now, and maybe never, looking for a replacement husband, but I do enjoy my sensuality and that physical and emotional connection. On the dating app I use, I am very clear: I am not interested in or expecting exclusivity. I expect companionship as well as intimacy, and demand respect about how I choose to conduct myself. It's opened up an opportunity to experience people who would not be on my radar were I looking for a long term, committed relationship. There is someone who has turned into a strong emotional connection that's lasted for a couple years now, we text daily and see each other maybe once every two weeks. On paper he'd be a ridiculous choice for a partner... Not steadily employed, weird living arrangement, etc. But for my circumstances... Well, who cares? We communicate well, the sex is awesome, and we enjoy each other's company. And then in the mix are a couple other men... One separated himself and very emotionally unavailable (but we have a phenomenal physical connection), another who is older than me and with a vow to stay single, which is a-ok with me. He's insanely interesting to talk to. And then an occasional other person who might float in and out, satisfying a temporary curiosity or providing a little variety. I'm my separation, I'm more alone, but not lonely, and it really hits the sweet spot.
Thanks for your lovely message and for a reminder of the difference between alone and lonely
🔥
Good on you Gail. I've never been quite game enough to hire an escort...maybe it's the nurse in me worrying about 'sharing'. I've had younger lovers and that's been great. I think you have to have lived a good many years before you find the courage to express what you 'like' and what turns you on. I have never been a 'cougar', but rather enjoy someone younger than me making it clear they are attracted to me, then letting nature take it's course.
Love that Bev, lucky you to gain the attention of men younger than you! Enjoy! Absolutely courage is something I now understand can come with wisdom and clarity of what we really want
What a thoroughly delightful story. So happy to read chapter 2. You're a dish, Gail!
Thanks for reading Carissa