Readers,
In case you missed it, today author Gretchen Rubin and I interviewed each other over Substack Live. It was a great conversation, centered on Gretchen’s new book, The Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives, a compendium of thoughtful aphorisms—little bite-sized bits of wisdom she’s collected about how to get the most out of life as a grownup.
Gretchen also publishes a great newsletter here called Secrets of Adulthood.
During our conversation, which you can watch up above ⬆️, Gretchen answered three of the questions from The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire. She surprised me by being an outlier with her answer to the second question, about having a different internal age than her chronological one. She is one of the rare respondents who doesn’t feel as if a part of her is identified with another age.
Ahead of time, she provided her written responses to all 20 questions. Without further ado, here they are…
This is 59: Author Gretchen Rubin Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire
“I was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when I realized that I actually wanted to be a writer.”
Gretchen Rubin is a seven-time New York Times bestselling author who studies happiness, habits, and human nature. She’s known for her ability to be both entertaining and serious, profound and practical, thought-provoking yet propulsively readable, and to write about herself in a way that helps people understand themselves. As co-host of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister, Elizabeth Craft.
--
How old are you?
59
Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind?
No.
Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?
I feel just right, generally in step with my peers.
What do you like about being your age?
I still feel like a beginner in many ways. I feel that I have so much to learn.
What is difficult about being your age?
Worrying about my parents. They’re in terrific health, but they are in their 80s.
What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?
It’s odd to say, but I almost never think about my future, so I had no expectations.
What has aging given you? Taken away from you?
It has given me some (!) wisdom that comes from experience. I can stay calmer when things go wrong, and am less easily annoyed or hurt.
How has getting older affected your sense of yourself, or your identity?
I still feel very much myself. I feel like I’m pretty much the same person I was at about eight years old!
What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to?
If it’s in the cards, I would love being a grandparent.
What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?
Hmmmm…I think now is always my favorite time.
Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?
Dolly Parton. She’s such an admirable person, and is still so active in the world, both as an artist and as a force for good.
What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
I just bought new jeans and new make-up. I’m working on my grip strength. I’m an absolute zealot about sun protection.
What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?
If there’s no chair, I will sit on the floor in public places, like airports.
What turn of events had the biggest impact on your life? What took your life in a different direction, for better or worse?
Besides getting married and having children, my biggest switch was when I changed careers from law to writing. I was clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor when I realized that I actually wanted to be a writer.
What is your number one regret in life? If you could do it all over again, what is the biggest thing you’d do differently?
Gosh, that’s hard to say. It’s probably not the biggest regret, but I wish that I’d been involved in extracurricular activities in college. I was too focused on my classes, and I missed out on a lot of experiences and relationships I think I would have enjoyed. I learned that lesson the hard way, and in law school, I did a ton of extracurricular activities, and was very happy that I did.
What is high up on your “bucket list?” What do you hope to achieve, attain, or plain enjoy before you die?
I’d love to conquer my fear of driving. I’d like to learn to watercolor better. I plan to write several more books.
Is there a piece of advice you were given, that you live by? If so, what was it, and who offered it to you?
“Be Gretchen.” I figured that one out for myself! Also, “Accept myself, and also expect more from myself.”
What are your plans for your body when you’re done using it? Burial? Cremation? Body Farm? Other?
Cremation.
And what do you expect to happen to your “soul” or “spirit” after you die?
I expect that will be the end of things.
What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours?
In my extended family, we send lots of affectionate texts and have birthday dinners that celebrate various clusters of birthdays. Plus, my two daughters always make me a handwritten card.
Thanks to everyone for tuning in, and to Gretchen Rubin for joining me today. You can watch our conversation above, at the top. ⬆️ It’s a good one!
Thank you Michele Wood, Anita Darcel Taylor, and many others for watching my live video with Gretchen Rubin! Join me for my next live video in the app.
