The day I decided to start a fashion blog was likely the 800th day I lamented that I only ever wore ratty sweatpants and tee shirts anymore. Two-plus years of pandemic avoidance had made my closet no more than a place I kick my cats out of. So on June 3, 2022, I created another Instagram account, dressed myself in a way that would make me stop avoiding the mirror, and asked my spouse to snap a few photos of me “for a vanity project.”
Inspired by fashion blogger @shokotatara, I decided to have all my photos taken in the same place each day. The obvious spot was the dilapidated pier in my backyard, which I swear looks beautiful in a different way each time I look at it. I figured if my outfit that day is a dud, at least the view in the background will be pretty.
Two-plus years of pandemic avoidance had made my closet no more than a place I kick my cats out of. So I created another Instagram account, dressed myself in a way that would make me stop avoiding the mirror, and asked my spouse to snap a few photos of me “for a vanity project.”
I kind of love social media (keeping in touch with people, the cute animal videos, the puns), but I kind of hate it, too, in the way that you end up hating what you have to do for work. For that reason, every so often I open an account that lets me be creative in ways that don’t involve capitalism. No self-promotion, just fun! In the past, I’ve made Instagrams for my menagerie of rescue animals, and to document some interesting items that were left behind in an old house I bought. My style account is similar to that, with the intention to keep me fashion accountable, and to share my love of playing with looks with likeminded pals. It’s also helped me embrace my identity as a nearly-49-year-old genderfluid Gen-Xer.
The first time I heard the term genderqueer, a light of recognition went on inside me. What a fantastic equalizer getting rid of gender would be, I thought. After all, gender is a social construct. Nobody actually “feels like a woman,” do they? That theory was quickly squashed, the more I spoke with my trans friends. And the more I considered that I had never felt like a woman, the more I realized that genderqueer might not just be a term for the kids. It might be what I’ve been all along.
One thing I love about having a fashion blog is feeling like I’m part of a larger conversation, of what a middle-aged person can wear (anything they freaking want), of what a non-binary person can wear (anything they freaking want), and when it’s okay to wear white (whenever you freaking want).
It’s been a slow process figuring out exactly what it all means to me. Although I check the “non-binary” box on forms, I identify more as “genderfluid,” which sounds like something David Bowie might have chosen. One day I might feel comfy in a men’s suit, the next day I might want to femme it up. In fact, if I could label my gender, it would probably be “David Bowie.” (My sexuality, too!)
One thing I love about having a fashion blog is feeling like I’m part of a larger conversation, of what a middle-aged person can wear (anything they freaking want), of what a non-binary person can wear (anything they freaking want), and when it’s okay to wear white (whenever you freaking want). By putting my choices out there, I feel like I’m helping make certain ideas acceptable, and giving others like me permission to do the same (as others have before me). It feels like community conversation as liberation.
I’m not sure how long I’ll keep at it. Until COVID is gone? (As if.) When I’ve run out of clothing combinations? When I get sick of all the creepy men who are suddenly in my DMs? When I decide to go full-on nudist? Who can say! But for now, it’s getting me out of my ratty sweatpants, and that’s what’s important.
 | A guest post by
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Thanks for sharing your outfits and writing. I like!
Well done! I was going to invite you to be part of my real models and actors 40+ casting site but it's for women in NYC and I see you are in the SF area. I hope you inspire more women to explore their inner model/stylist.
I did something similar in 2017 with thrift shop clothes. I like that you chose one location.
Like pairing wine with a meal, I called upon my inner location scout and paired each outfit with different NYC backdrops. Our Catskills log cabin paired well with my vintage Madewell overalls that I found at a Salvation Army in the 1970's. Madewell, originally a work wear company, was founded in 1937 in New Bedford Mass. The last Madewell factory closed in 1989 but then in 2004 the Madewell name and logo was purchased by JCrew's former chief executive Mickey Drexler and reinvented into the fashion brand we know today. The story is that Mickey didn’t have a story for Madewell so he bought one... for authenticity.