Defying Gravity at Any Age
Martha Bayne interviews 73-year-old aerial arts enthusiast Barbara Hague.
Eight years ago, at the age of 45, I walked into my first aerial circus class. A few weeks earlier the studio, Aloft Circus Arts in Chicago, had hosted a benefit at the bar where I was then working and I’d impulsively purchased a handful of raffle tickets. To my—and probably everyone’s—great surprise, the bartender won the grand prize: an eight-week session of classes.
As I write this I realize that, in truth, this is a lie. I had tried aerial classes—silks and trapeze, mainly—a decade earlier, and I had found it fussy, and dropped it fast. I don’t remember why I felt compelled to try again, but it was free and by this time I was in better shape, being then in the throes of a midlife enthusiasm for running, swimming, and triathlons. When I wrapped my feet in the silks and hitched myself up to climb for the first time, my body thrilled to the effort. I felt like I’d come home.
In the intervening years I’ve developed strength and skills I never thought possible. At 54, I can still do the splits, and when I got married a few months ago the dress had to be altered to fit over my traps and delts. But the gains have been as much, or even more, psychological as physical. Learning silks, trapeze, and lyra (aerial hoop) has offered not just nice upper body musculature but a new form of artistic expression, a community, and a connection to the dancer I was in my teens and early 20s, before life got in the way.
But circus, like serious physical practice in any discipline, is largely a young person’s game. Though I’m in class with many students in their 20s, 30s and 40s, the 50-somethings can be counted in single digits. My coaches are experts in meeting students where they are, but it’s still hard not to compare my own abilities—like my ongoing struggle to execute just one single clean pull-up—with those of the youngsters and despair. So when Barbara Hague showed up at Aloft I took notice.
Now 73, Barbara took her first flying trapeze lesson seven years ago. Since then, she’s studied all over town and, with a move this fall to be closer to her grandkids, is exploring the aerial options in Madison, Wisconsin. Paper-thin skin that leaves her vulnerable to scratches and bruising forces her to wear long sleeves and socks whenever she trains, and I’ve been impressed with her can-do attitude ever since I first saw her across the gym. I’m not the only one: Chicago Tribune reporter Greg Pratt profiled her back in 2015, when she was just getting started at 66. This summer I saw her performing in a silver wig and red short-shorts in a flying trapeze student showcase, so I took the plunge and asked her to sit down and chat about how it feels to really be the oldest flyer in the room.
Martha Bayne: How did you get interested in circus in the first place?
Barbara Hague: A friend was teaching part time at [Trapeze School of New York, which has a summer rig on the Chicago lakefront] and my first thought was, "Oh right, I'll never do anything like that.” But around then Greg Pratt (the guy who wrote the article about me) had written this article about how he's afraid of heights, but he was doing flying trapeze and really enjoyed it. So I emailed him and at the same time was talking to my friend, and they both encouraged me to try it. So I signed up for a class. That first class was a blur. I was inching up the ladder like an inchworm and just scared to death. By the end of class I managed to get a knee hang but I was afraid to put my arms down afterwards.
At the end of class I asked them, "I know you guys want more students for your school, but should I really be doing this?" And they said, rather enthusiastically that you definitely have the capacity to improve so, why not try it?
So I did. One thing led to another and I didn't even get a catch [when the flyer releases from the bar and is caught by another person—the “catcher”—on a second trapeze] until my fourth class—but it was just the perfect catch. And I fall down into the net and I'm just elated. But I'm getting up and somebody yells out, "You're bleeding!" I [later] found out my skin on my forearms is paper thin, and I had these huge gashes—superficial, but it was bleeding. I have scars there now, and that's why I always wear long sleeves and socks. Anyway, I thought, well, my trapeze career is over before it began, but the manager at the time says, “No problem, we'll teach you how to catch with a stick.” And I've been doing that ever since. It's a little portable bar that the catcher holds and I grab onto the bar instead of to the catcher's arms. And I've been doing it ever since and I'm not a great flyer. But then I started a lot later than most people do.
That first class was a blur. I was inching up the ladder like an inchworm and just scared to death. By the end of class I managed to get a knee hang but I was afraid to put my arms down afterwards.
MB: What are you taking now?
BH: Well, I gradually picked up some static trapeze and have done that on and off, and some lyra. And I also take sling. Silks has been a big bust.
MB: Silks are hard.
BH: Silks are hard. It's a little bit more than I can handle. That's not to say I might not try it again, but yeah. The sling is kind of coming along.
MB: Did you consider yourself athletic before this? Had you ever done any kind of athletic pursuits, even if they weren't, like, flying trapeze, in the past or was this all new?
BH: I mean, I can swim. I'm not a very fast swimmer, but I can do the front crawl or the back crawl. Other than that, not really athletic, but we belonged to the Y for many years and I used to take a lot of step aerobics and fitness classes—Bodypump and classes like that. And I like to take long walks.
MB: Just looking at your social media, it seems like you're taking a class a day. Is that accurate?
BH: Three a week, occasionally more. I'm a member of TSNY, so you get a free class a month and sometimes it's a little challenging to find the time to squeeze that in. On other days, I at least like to take a walk around the neighborhood. And I do subscribe here now to the fitness center—but when the weather's nice, I really prefer to walk outside. I also have PT exercises for the shoulder and for sciatica and I do those and I really should keep up more with that, because that helps keep me limber.
MB: What have been the benefits and challenges of doing this? Both physically and psychologically.
At the end of class I asked them, "I know you guys want more students for your school, but should I really be doing this?" And they said, rather enthusiastically that you definitely have the capacity to improve so, why not try it?
BH: Physically, I think it has helped with my bone density scans that I have every couple of years. I think it's because of all the weight bearing exercise I do. And also, having gotten stronger, it's the only thing I do that's really hard for me to do that I don't have to do. Sometimes I'm just totally, totally spent and I'm nowhere near the level some of the other people are, which gets kind of discouraging, but again, it's the challenge for me. If there's no challenge, then it's not fun.
I also found out I really enjoy performing. It's kind of scary to be up in front of an audience—I really hadn't been in front of an audience since high school, and then I only had little walk-on roles. So it was the first time in 50 years I had done stuff like that. I think I actually paid more attention to getting my costume together than I do learning the tricks. I have a whole selection of wigs and other stuff. We have a lot of fun with these [flying trapeze] shows and I enjoy showing off a little bit. I kind of get down on myself if I don't make the trick; I feel kind of bad.
I shouldn't compare myself, but everybody compares themselves, even though they say they don't. But it is hard, and I think, "Hey, she could do that. Why can't I do that? I try so hard and I can't do that." That is a mental thing that I work on. I know intellectually that I shouldn't be doing that, but emotionally it’s something else. I think it's good for my development. I'm learning to be more patient with myself—I mean, I don't wanna be too patient with myself. I want to get out there and work—but getting up into certain positions, or learning lyra or static trapeze, sometimes tricks just don't work for me.
MB: It's so common for everybody. I do that all the time, where I'm comparing myself to other people in my class, and trying to remind myself that they're 20 years younger than me, or have been a gymnast in the past or something like that.
BH: Oh, yeah. And definitely the people who have a background in dance or gymnastics or cheerleading have an edge in the circus sports, which the rest of us, not so much. I wouldn't advise a person who's never done anything, if they're not in at least fairly decent shape from walking or whatever, to do this.
I found out my skin on my forearms is paper thin, and I had these huge gashes—superficial, but it was bleeding. I have scars there now, and that's why I always wear long sleeves and socks.
MB: What has your experience been being in these classes with such a wide range of people of different ages? I feel like I'm often the oldest person in my classes, and I know I'm in pretty good shape for my age in the general population, but in the circus world I really feel my limitations.
BH: Oh, for sure. But I kind of enjoy hanging out with younger people. I love my contemporaries—I keep in touch with some high school classmates and some of them are doing amazing things. One runs marathons with her husband, and then another one discovered a talent for painting later in life. And she's good. I mean, she could sell her stuff. People are just finding different talents, which is me too, just being semi-retired doing things that I haven't done before. I get bored easily. I like new challenges. Being with people of different ages, it's fun talking to people and seeing what they're interested in. We've always been patrons of the arts, we love theater and music, but I've started going to a lot of different circus shows, and they're wonderful. They're much, much younger, but there are so many talented people out there doing stuff.
There's a guy who used to work at TSNY and has been with Cirque du Soleil a few years, and he was around a couple months back and did a class with us and, wow. Just to see some of the tricks that he was doing was kind of fun, and he gave good advice. [Circus] has just kind of opened up me up to a lot more things that I've been going to and learning about. That's been a whole lot of fun.
The instructors are amazing; they are very kind. They don't put you down if you're scared or you can't get something right away. When they get to know you, they can tease you a little bit, and that's fine, but I've never seen anybody put down a newbie for being scared or not being able to do something.
MB: I've always wondered what kind of training they get around that, because obviously, they've got a lot of really good skills in terms of meeting people where they're at and being really supportive and finding different ways to encourage different students. Like if they notice that you're flexible, for example, they'll really hype you up for being flexible, even though you can't do a pull up. It seems like there's a whole pedagogy behind it.
BH: Are you familiar with Jonathan Conant? He used to be a co-owner of TSNY, and now he has Airborne Arts in Costa Rica. Chas [her husband] and I have been, and that was a very challenging group. They have a regulation circus ring, and this very narrow ladder. You climb up halfway and then you have to step onto the net and climb up the rest of the way, facing out instead of facing in. Oh my gosh. And then you take this giant step onto the very narrow board. So there's a person there, holding my belt and helping me cross, and it was scary as hell. But on my last day there, I got a catch with the catcher and Jonathan taught the catcher to use a catch stick just for me. I was just so moved that, he would do this, because he really didn't know me from Adam.
But, anyway, he has some videos about training people. And one of them is that you leave your S-H-I-T behind. You have to be present for the student. You have to be welcoming, and make it clear, "Hey, I am here for you."
[Going to Costa Rica] was one of those things like, who am I? Here is an internationally known trapeze teacher and there's me, taking a class with him. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life, and he just went out of his way to make it good for me.
I kind of enjoy hanging out with younger people. I love my contemporaries—I keep in touch with some high school classmates and some of them are doing amazing things. One runs marathons with her husband, and then another one discovered a talent for painting later in life.
MB: People's lives are on the line! They have to be present. Just like you, as the flyer, have to be completely present in the moment. Otherwise, you're screwed. The instructors also have to be totally present because they're the ones holding your lines.
BH: They're always into finding the good in what you did and improving it. I've had teachers who were kind of dismissive, like one time at the Y there was a yoga teacher and I couldn't do something, balancing on one foot or whatever, and I just saw that little smirk on her face and was like, F-you. I don't need that.
MB: Yeah that's not cool. So what are you going to do when you move?
BH: There's the Madison Circus Space, which I've been to. I took a couple classes there. At the end of every month they have a sampler class where you try a couple different disciplines. And so among other things, I tried German wheel. Ooooooooo.
MB: How'd that go?
BH: Verrrrry slowly, gingerly just balancing myself on that was enough. I did it though. I got out there and tried doing it. And the tightwire. Well, it wasn't very high off the ground and a guy held my hand. I do want to try hula hoops, because I used to have a hula hoop when I was a kid and I enjoyed doing that. I've been taking sling and it's kind of hard, but again, the instructors are very good and they'll work with you for body position—you know, try this, try that, and do a lot of drilling on the basics, which is very good for me. I don't get things immediately. It takes me a while to get something.
MB: That's true for a lot of people.
BH: Yeah. I just don't catch on immediately. Sometimes often.
MB: What's been the reaction of your husband and your peers and your family to all of this? I'm sure they're used to it by now, but when you first started doing circus, did they think you were nuts?
BH: Yeah, probably. But partly I've gotten some fame and notoriety among people I know. I was kind of a bookworm when I was a kid and I was kind of a chubby kid, and I always hated that too. People would put me down for that, and people shouldn't have put people down for anything about appearance. But now it's, “Oh wow, you're amazing. You can do all this stuff.” And there's kind of a disconnect, because I'm not really that amazing
I've had teachers who were kind of dismissive, like one time at the Y there was a yoga teacher and I couldn't do something, balancing on one foot or whatever, and I just saw that little smirk on her face and was like, F-you. I don't need that.
MB: But you are! You are amazing. You can do things that 99% of the population can't do.
BH: That's true.
MB: Is there anything else that you want to share about your circus experience, specifically how it relates to being 73, and your personal journey?
BH: Just to encourage people to, if you ever wanted to try something, to go ahead and give it a try. I mean, my form is not that great. Again, I'm very hard on myself, but there's a lot of room for improvement there. But, like, I learned something new this last show. Although I did not make the catch, I did make the catch at practice a couple times, and it was the first brand new trick I had gotten since before the pandemic. I was really thrilled to have that happen.
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This is so cool! Thanks for the inspiration!