35 Comments
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Diana M. Wilson's avatar

I loved this essay so darn much. Every bit of it.

On Monday mornings, when I'm trying to get my work done/scheduled for the week, I don't always have time to read the publications I subscribe to--so confession: I tend to press "delete" more often than I'd like if time were not an issue. But something about this post spoke to me...maybe it was Sylvia herself. (What a photo.) I am so glad I took the time to read this fabulous post. 💙

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

I appreciate you taking the time this morning Diana. Thank you.

Diana M. Wilson's avatar

My absolute pleasure.

Author TK Eldridge's avatar

Chosen family is the best. Sounds like you have a really good one. I write about chosen family in all of my books because chosen family has saved me more than once.

Thank you for sharing yours.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you for reading TK.

Kelly Speiser's avatar

I loved this one. I was basically raised as an only child, and I always wanted a sister; I would try to have sleepovers at my friends' houses with big families, hoping I'd fit in. I wanted the companionship, and I also thought that having siblings in the house would defuse my mother's attention and bad temper.

Later, in grad school, my office mates were my big brothers - confidantes, cheerleaders, and inspiration. They wanted me to succeed, and they showed me the most stylish food, art, clothes, how to garden... our office on the 3rd floor of Sibley Hall echoed with cackles and rants.

In my 20s, a bad marriage fractured many of my close relationships and spun me out into years of solitude, and - eventually - alcoholism. After a time, I joined AA and met a number of wonderful women - older, wiser, full of laughter. They tried to take me under their wing, but I wasn't ready - they were so together, and seemingly, I just needed to figure things out myself. It took a long time! After more years, I achieved stability, and things changed for the better - my relationships with my kids got better, and I was even able to go back to work.

This past week, I saw my sponsor - I hadn't seen her for 2 years, because when I moved out of town, I did what I do best - put my head down and figure things out. When I saw her in the coffee shop the other day, I burst out crying. I didn't need to do it alone this whole time!

I also saw my friend Jean, one of that original group of women. Jean is one of 9 children, and I remember wishing so badly that she was my sister. Seeing her again, she IS my sister; back then, I just didn't understand what that meant. Fortunately, now I do.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Hell of a story Kelly. Thank you for sharing. So glad your "sisters" are back in your life.

Richard Grayson's avatar

Every one of Michael’s posts here — and other pieces I’ve read elsewhere — has made me think: “Get this man a book contract!” and this was no exception. (Hopefully he already has a book contract.)

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you Richard

Sari Botton's avatar

Seriously—collect some of your essays in a book!

Sari Botton's avatar

Yes! He should collect some of his many wonderful essays in a book!

Sandra Jackson's avatar

Just finished BigSis and the tears are popping outta my eyes. I loved it so much. You can feel the love pouring out. Thank you MG for a wonderful read.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you for reading Sandra.

Shirley T. Thomas's avatar

Beautiful essay. My question is- is Sylvia still in your life? Are you in contact with her?

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Yes, she is still in my life. Though I no longer live in NYC, we talk often.

Sari Botton's avatar

She just commented on his Facebook post about this essay. Seems so!

Heather's avatar

You hooked me with the idea of finding a family (a big sister) elsewhere and it’s the natural way that you write that held me close to both of you. I would love more! Thank you for sharing!

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you for reading.

Lois Peterson's avatar

Great essay!

sallie reynolds's avatar

What a friendship!

Tom Van Valkenburgh's avatar

What a beautiful friendship story.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you Tom.

Psychedelic Literature's avatar

In one essay, you covered the importance of community and the importance of males having sisters of all kinds.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Thank you brother Leigh.

Kayla C.  Porter's avatar

I loved seeing grandma in this light and it fully explains why you’ve always been Uncle Mike. Thank you for writing this, I love you a million!!!!

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Love you back, my dear. You've made my day...xoxo

Nancy Jainchill's avatar

Moving. How fortunate to have found Sylvia. What a sibling-hood.

Michael A. Gonzales's avatar

Meeting her back then was such a blessing. Thank you.

Catherine Schwalbe's avatar

Such a heartfelt and well written story about love for each other. We have our biological and our logical family. We find love where we can. This was beautiful.

Jean Sward's avatar

I want to write about the amazing way that music somehow defines and shapes your life, even though I can't hear any of that music in my head. I've never heard it. I grew up in a different, deader and silent world.

ElizabethRoseG's avatar

What a loving and lovely essay. It flows. Thank you.