Ask The East Village Yenta #5

"I’m worried about my son’s emotional state and want to help him...but I’m sure he isn’t eager for his 74-year-old mother to butt in!"

This is an advice column exclusively for paid subscribers to Oldster Magazine. Got a personal problem you’d like help solving? Whether it has to do with a romantic situation, a friendship, or family members, The East Village Yenta is here to help. If you’re a paid subscriber, you may send a letter to eastvillageyenta@gmail.com (*Names and identifying characteristics have been changed.)

Q:

Dear Yenta,

I’m worried about my 57-year-old son’s emotional state and want to help him, but at the same time, I want to respect his privacy—I’m sure he isn’t eager for his 74-year-old mother to butt in!

My son is an introvert who tends to isolate himself, socially. In recent years he’s counteracted that by joining a few things, like a softball team. But when I talked with him a couple of months ago and asked how softball went this year, he was down on it. He said he didn’t play that well, and it stressed him out so much each week, he’s thinking he probably won’t play next year.

My heart sank a little. My son has no close male friends, and works at home. When I worry about how isolated he is, I bolster myself with thoughts like, “Well, at least he’s playing sports with a bunch of guys. That’s good.” He also plays on a pool team, so I followed my first question with, “How’s pool going?”