Ask The East Village Yenta #4

"At this late stage of life I feel as if I’m only first getting to really know certain parts of myself..."

This is an advice column exclusively for paid subscribers to Oldster Magazine. Got a personal problem you’d like help solving? Whether it has to do with a romantic situation, a friendship, or family members, The East Village Yenta is here to help. If you’re a paid subscriber, you may send a letter to eastvillageyenta@gmail.com (*Names and identifying characteristics have been changed.)

Q:

Dear The East Village Yenta,

When my husband, Irv, died five years ago I was 75, and I figured that was it for romantic relationships for me.

Irv and I had had a pretty happy marriage for 53 years, with two kids and five grandkids, and it was hard to imagine being with anyone else. (I’d only ever dated two other men, one at the end of high school, the other early in my college career.) I had nursed Irv through pancreatic cancer the last two years of his life, and I was exhausted. The thought of dating was far from my mind.

Then, a year-and-a-half ago, I reconnected with an old family friend whose wife had died a year after Irv did. What began as warm, platonic companionship blossomed into love, and it has been the greatest surprise of my 80-year-long life.

Fred and I have the loveliest arrangement—we live two hours apart in adjacent states, and visit each other every weekend. We’ve taken two vacations together, and they have been wonderful.

Now, however, Fred’s lease is ending, and we have begun dancing around the topic of where he should move next, and whether as part of the solution, we should cohabitate.