Ask The East Village Yenta #1

"Do I have to tell my husband the secret catalyst behind our recent rekindling?" A new advice column.

This is a new occasional advice column exclusively for paid subscribers to Oldster Magazine. (I’m going to aim for it to appear monthly.) Got a personal problem you’d like help solving? Whether it has to do with a romantic situation, a friendship, or family members, The East Village Yenta is here to help. If you’re a paid subscriber, you may send a letter to eastvillageyenta@gmail.com (*Names and identifying characteristics have been changed.)

Q:

Dear East Village Yenta,

I suppose this is a happy problem. My husband Jim (72) and I (70) have been happily married for 45 years, but for the past 5 to 10, it’s felt platonic, more like a friendship. At some point during that time we stopped having sex altogether, and I was mostly fine with it. It seemed normal, and in some part due to menopause, and both of us naturally having diminished sex drives later in life.

But recently that all changed. We’re now having something of a second honeymoon, and it’s wonderful. Where we had been more like two congenial pals sharing a bed, we are now passionately intimate with each other several times a week. We can’t keep our hands off of each other. I know what changed, but my husband doesn’t, and I’m wondering whether I should tell him, or if bringing up what happened would upset him, or even break us apart.