30 Comments
User's avatar
Patty's avatar

What a self-aware and honest Q&A. Thanks for being so forthright.

As a sober person myself, gosh, coming up on 10 years this year, I’m always happy to read this stories of sobriety—how they got and stayed there. It’s affirming for me (I wasn’t the only FUp!) and so heartening to know the light continues and grows.

Amy Shearn's avatar

Love everything about this

Em Birch's avatar

oh wow… the barbershop line flipped like that?? i love how recovery found you in such an ordinary, unexpected place, like it just kept showing up until you couldn’t ignore it.

and that shift from contagious plague to someone who shows up… that yoga class image really got me. there’s something so powerful about those small, consistent acts quietly rebuilding a sense of self. excited to connect!!

Cara Benson's avatar

Yep, in my polyester Friendly's uniform. :)

J DP's avatar

A perfectly lovely human

Cara Benson's avatar

What a lovely thing to say!

David Miles-Hanschell's avatar

Thanks Cara , for being able to express so eloquently what you have learned from the time of your painful experience of life.

Catherine's avatar

So appreciate your candid, funny, and insightful interview. I too immerse myself in mountaineering stories that go wrong. 'Into Thin Air' brought me to the fierce mountains filled with chaotic humans wanting to get to the top. Such a good metaphor for being human.

Sally's avatar

Can’t wait to read the book! I loved this. So helpful! And that 55th birthday photograph is awesome!

Sari Botton's avatar

I’ve read (and blubed) the book and it’s wonderful.

Cara Benson's avatar

There was actually a double rainbow that day! And this was after over 24 hours of drenching rain. As if the heavens parted....:)

Sally's avatar

Very propitious or perhaps auspicious omen- either way is good.

Kirie Pedersen's avatar

Always love these recovery stories! I got sober the first time when I was 23, went back out "to have more fun" at 26, and re-upped at 32 and have been sober now for 43 years. I resonate with your "non-negotiable daily spiritual practice of prayer, contemplative journaling, reading, and meditation. ... Also, walking and hiking are key for me." Three years ago I started a weekly women's meeting using "Voices of Women," a collection of women's stories from the Grapevine. This has been transformative for me and for others - actual women's stories shared in a safe environment. We old-timers thrive to at last find support as women, and young newcomers are arriving, staying, and celebrating.

Jerry's avatar

I am glad to read that your life turned out so beautifully. Congratulations on your success.

Sandra Austin Mello's avatar

I love Cara's attitude! Thank you for your sober oldster with the Small Bow. I look forward to it every month.

Jenn H's avatar

Sometimes public sobbing *is* the way one demonstrates how to get better!

Amy Halloran's avatar

Love the screaming honesties in Cara's sober answers -- as welcoming and magnetic as the writing in her upcoming book! Thanks Sari for providing such a forum.

Cara Benson's avatar

And "screaming honesties" ftw....

Jamecono's avatar

Fantastic. As a sober oldster who is both older (65) and with less time sober (2 years if I do not use for another week!) I’m only concerned about Cara’s deep connection to and need for movement in the wild. She said “I am grateful to have an able body at this time so that I can get out of my head and onto my moving feet on the regular…I need this activity to keep me this side of sane.”

What happens when our bodies age out of the healthy activities that are so crucial to mental and physical health - and our sobriety?

Thank you Sari and A.J. for this regular feature 🙏

Cara Benson's avatar

Thank you for considering this so attentively! I think about aging bodies. I imagine I will grieve, lament, and adapt. And likely there will be public sobbing...

book inc's avatar

This is so great. Thanks so much!

juliejoy's avatar

Instead I learned the art of public sobbing 🎯

Love you Cara and love this book!!!

Kate's avatar

I was taken by your leaking and “containment” boundaries — I really struggle with that - and hadn’t heard that term before—and ruminating on what people think of me. Your daily practice sounds like a real antidote. Thank you!

Cara Benson's avatar

I'm so glad this was helpful!