"Being sober this long, thinking about that question, it's not much different from asking: What are the best things about life?"
It's beautiful how he connects his sobriety to everything meaningful in his life - especially his family who have only known him sober. His perspective shows how recovery isn't just about abstaining from substances, but about building a life worth living and being present for it.
Thank you for sharing your story, Richard Rushfield, and happy for you where you are now.
I believe we all have an addiction to something to varying degrees. So, I wonder, is coming out of an addiction essentially learning a discipline of a kind? A self control, self-regulation?
So many of us were not raised with attention to childhood needs or understanding of emotions and being allowed to express them - through no real fault of the parents as they grew up with traumatic world events that produced traumatic humans that are then passed on. That's enough reason to form an addiction, for sure.
Heartened and grateful to those who come through their difficulty, whatever kind that may be, and share it with us as it's inspiring. And those who are still struggling, your struggle is inspirational because it means you want better for yourself. May we all keep heading toward a peace.
Oh golly! Nice surprise to see someone I went to college with - Richard! I've been sober since 1994, and felt great resonance with so much of what Richard said, especially "Can't I just be normal now? Why do I still have to think about this thing?" Also: the meh feeling about groups and the general feelings about AA....Community with other people in recovery has, however, been far nicer than the two decades of sobriety on my own.
I too have been sober for 1/2 of my life, which means that I've been sober for 43 years. I too am not much of a meeting-goer, but I try to collect my chip once a year even though I'm usually the only one walking up to get one. What has sobriety given me? My life, nothing less. I would not be here had I not gotten sober.
Richard, thank you for sharing your experiences and helping others see the importance of eliminating the negative and accentuating the positive in their lives.
I've known Richie for 30+ years, when we were young and poor and directionless in LA! Thanks to all gods for the internet. He's always been one of my favorite people.
Leaving aside the focus on sobriety and the relationships between alcohol and relationships, your noting the significance of screen time could almost be missed. But it's so interesting to me that you've included your comment regarding that in this short narrative about sobriety. Not to diminish the fact that alcohol is, IMHO, the most cynical expression of corporate greed, the Web and all of the media from it is truly the wolf in sheep's clothing... especially for us addicts!
Thank you Richard. I enjoyed listening to you. And while I applaud what you say and all the good AA has done it occurs to me that “sober” and “sobriety” are unfortunate choices of words, objectives and life-missions. They seem so dour.
They are just too “sober” for what you describe and the exhilaration and joyfulness possible of a life that isn’t alcohol or chemically-dependent.
I am not an AA member, and in moderation I enjoy alcohol, but I know that to members and those who have experienced the dark side of addiction, the words have resonance beyond the surface. I just wish they were more suggestive of liberation.
In certain recovery groups, we use the term emotional sobriety. Sober does not equal somber. In fact-as you described-sober means joy, freedom, and less created chaos when one chooses oneself.
Hey Sari, thanks so much for this column, its one of my faves. I am so curious as to why you have the question "are you still a monster?" it feels leading and judgmental. Would love to hear your thoughts behind it.
Thanks for sharing your sobriety journey Richard. I am unable to attend meetings as I am immune compromised with no spleen. Getting sober saved my life and suddenly gave me a room of people who cared about me and were there for me. Whenever I walked into an AA meeting (when I still had my spleen), hope, love and friendship greeted me. I will be forever grateful. My family always came to my AA anniversaries and were surprised by the love and caring they felt in the room. You and I are fortunate!!
It’s great that you made the commitment to yourself to improve your life! I do wonder why you've not been open to therapy ? It can be so helpful in learning different coping strategies and understanding different parts of yourself that show up which you used alcohol to cope with earlier on
"Being sober this long, thinking about that question, it's not much different from asking: What are the best things about life?"
It's beautiful how he connects his sobriety to everything meaningful in his life - especially his family who have only known him sober. His perspective shows how recovery isn't just about abstaining from substances, but about building a life worth living and being present for it.
Wow, this piece is so moving. So much self-acceptance and I'm sure it was hard-won. Richard's wisdom for life and these times—I will hold on to that.
Thank you for sharing your story, Richard Rushfield, and happy for you where you are now.
I believe we all have an addiction to something to varying degrees. So, I wonder, is coming out of an addiction essentially learning a discipline of a kind? A self control, self-regulation?
So many of us were not raised with attention to childhood needs or understanding of emotions and being allowed to express them - through no real fault of the parents as they grew up with traumatic world events that produced traumatic humans that are then passed on. That's enough reason to form an addiction, for sure.
Heartened and grateful to those who come through their difficulty, whatever kind that may be, and share it with us as it's inspiring. And those who are still struggling, your struggle is inspirational because it means you want better for yourself. May we all keep heading toward a peace.
Oh golly! Nice surprise to see someone I went to college with - Richard! I've been sober since 1994, and felt great resonance with so much of what Richard said, especially "Can't I just be normal now? Why do I still have to think about this thing?" Also: the meh feeling about groups and the general feelings about AA....Community with other people in recovery has, however, been far nicer than the two decades of sobriety on my own.
I too have been sober for 1/2 of my life, which means that I've been sober for 43 years. I too am not much of a meeting-goer, but I try to collect my chip once a year even though I'm usually the only one walking up to get one. What has sobriety given me? My life, nothing less. I would not be here had I not gotten sober.
Richard, thank you for sharing your experiences and helping others see the importance of eliminating the negative and accentuating the positive in their lives.
I've known Richie for 30+ years, when we were young and poor and directionless in LA! Thanks to all gods for the internet. He's always been one of my favorite people.
Thank you for sharing your story with us Richard.
Leaving aside the focus on sobriety and the relationships between alcohol and relationships, your noting the significance of screen time could almost be missed. But it's so interesting to me that you've included your comment regarding that in this short narrative about sobriety. Not to diminish the fact that alcohol is, IMHO, the most cynical expression of corporate greed, the Web and all of the media from it is truly the wolf in sheep's clothing... especially for us addicts!
Thank you, Richard, for sharing your experiences of life with us. By doing so you are helping others in ways you may not otherwise. Take care.
Thank you Richard. I enjoyed listening to you. And while I applaud what you say and all the good AA has done it occurs to me that “sober” and “sobriety” are unfortunate choices of words, objectives and life-missions. They seem so dour.
They are just too “sober” for what you describe and the exhilaration and joyfulness possible of a life that isn’t alcohol or chemically-dependent.
I am not an AA member, and in moderation I enjoy alcohol, but I know that to members and those who have experienced the dark side of addiction, the words have resonance beyond the surface. I just wish they were more suggestive of liberation.
In certain recovery groups, we use the term emotional sobriety. Sober does not equal somber. In fact-as you described-sober means joy, freedom, and less created chaos when one chooses oneself.
Thank you Amanda. That makes perfect sense to me.
Hey Sari, thanks so much for this column, its one of my faves. I am so curious as to why you have the question "are you still a monster?" it feels leading and judgmental. Would love to hear your thoughts behind it.
Thanks so much for letting me you know enjoy this series, and for the feedback. I'll talk to A.J. about this...
Thank you for your time! Would love to hear what comes out of the conversation. :)
We are reframing that question. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing your sobriety journey Richard. I am unable to attend meetings as I am immune compromised with no spleen. Getting sober saved my life and suddenly gave me a room of people who cared about me and were there for me. Whenever I walked into an AA meeting (when I still had my spleen), hope, love and friendship greeted me. I will be forever grateful. My family always came to my AA anniversaries and were surprised by the love and caring they felt in the room. You and I are fortunate!!
It’s great that you made the commitment to yourself to improve your life! I do wonder why you've not been open to therapy ? It can be so helpful in learning different coping strategies and understanding different parts of yourself that show up which you used alcohol to cope with earlier on